Exile
by Mitch82
Summary: Slash AU A twist on the events in Rogue turns Clark's life and his relationship with Lex completely upside down. Chapter 14 posted at last!
1. Prologue

Title: Exile

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 1 of ?

Rating: R (for future chapters)

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst

I haven't cried this hard in years. Not out loud. I always put up a front of being in control of myself and the things around me. But my insides are always twisting and turning. I think I feel too much sometimes. I'm always worried, always sad, always frustrated, always afraid. Things are not going to go my way and I know it. I don't think I even know what I want my way to be. Things happen as they will and I decide, for one reason or another, that they have happened badly.

Then I meet Clark. Clark is beautiful. He has beautiful blue eyes and the most endearing smile. He's different like me and suddenly the burden of being abnormal is a privilege. It's a secret weapon that he and I share. We of the tired eyes. We who have been here so briefly, and seen far too much. He smiles before he talks. I don't hear his words. They are only the means by which his spirit can shake hands with mine. I begin to think God doesn't hate me, that things worked out this way for a very important reason.

But through all the anger and sadness and frustration, I still have no one. Nobody cares about just me. Nobody hurts for me. Nobody sees my pain and would rather take it upon themselves than watch me suffer for one more second. I've never felt so completely alone. People cry when their love leaves, but they don't know what loneliness is. They have no idea. It aches like an open wound bleeding over my bare toes. I have so much love inside that is leaking out everyday being replaced by a frightening hardness. I'm being overtaken by an anger so old and so deep that I almost don't feel it anymore. What many would mistake for their emotions shutting off, I recognize as my spirit dying. My mind changing. My heart shrinking. 

I need love. I need to feel loved by someone who understands me intellectually, emotionally, and physically. I want someone so right for me that the first time we make love isn't even a question in my mind. That the only reason I'm nervous is because I love him and want more than anything to make him happy, to make it special. I will either be the most passionate fire he's ever felt, or dream through the whole experience, not loving, not feeling. It all depends on how much of my heart is left on that fateful day. 

With the way of things, it looks like it will be a long time before he comes to me. Until then, I remain lost, my will to search diminished, my heart fallen.


	2. Dread

Title: Dread

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 2 of ?

Rating: R (for future chapters)

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst

In the air now. Headed to that vile, secret place. A stain on the face of the earth that I wish I could wipe away. A large portion of my conscience that will remain forever in unforgiving shadow.

The flight attendant offers beer. I take water. Best to have my mind clear for the first visit. Best to fully receive the pain that will be given me for the pain that I have given him. But to touch his face, to feel his burning skin, to know that his heart beats so very near to my own. It is worth all that I have suffered, that we have suffered.

Restless, I pick up my book. Distract myself from these evil thoughts until I have to face them. I wish to fill my mind with images of dragons and castles and happy endings to remember what is important. Yes, I burned the village with the fire of my breath. Yes, I seized the precious, holy gem, without which there is no hope of salvation. And what of it? Dragons can have happy endings too.

But these justifications only temporarily satisfy. Happy endings suggest an initial purpose, that sacrifices were made for the sake of a greater good. The only purpose here is my own selfish need.

I put down the book and gaze out the window. Above is a bright sun and blue sky and below is nothing but clouds. To think that all I see is light while those on the ground see dismal shades of gray, maybe even rain. Something on the clouds ahead... a rainbow. But not a rainbow exactly, more like a rain-ring. A perfect circle of color. There is no pot of gold because there is no ending, or beginning for that matter. It's a cruel game being played on us, to make us search for the end when there isn't one. Are we destined to walk the same path again and again, never reaching our goal? Or maybe that's the point. Having what we want is not what carries us through this life, but the process of wanting it, the anticipation of getting it.

True, I believe that I've found my soulmate, my everlasting companion for this eternal circular journey and for that I'm grateful. But a part of me knows that finding him ends the enticing uncertainty. The night is never more terrifying and strangely beautiful than right before the dawn, and I'll miss it.

The new day, however, has brought with it a new darkness and as the plane descends, I must decide just how I'm going to deal with it.


	3. Pieces

Title: Pieces

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 3 of ?

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst

Warm hands. They're moving so fast. Is it him? When he touches me, it's slow and gentle. I try to form words, but only manage a soft moan.

"It's just me, dear." Her. I know her but... she's taking off my clothes. Why is she- "Mr. Luthor wanted you to have brand new silk pajamas for the visit. Aren't they soft?" They touch my skin. So smooth, like the top of his head. Mr. Luthor. But that's not what I call him. Why can't I remember?

I finally succeed in opening my eyes. She's working on the buttons. She looks into my face with such concern, such pity. A smile tries to hide her true feelings, but it's too late. Finishing the last button, she sits next to me on the bed and softly strokes my hair.

"How are you feeling, Clark?"

Clark. Is that me? "Why am I here?"

She makes no attempt to hide her concern now. "You look pale. He shouldn't be here for at least another hour or so. Maybe I could turn up the heat and make you some soup..."

"Martha."

"I'm sorry, dear?"

"There was a Martha. She took care of me and stayed up with me when I was upset." Trying to remember sends a bolt of pain through my head. But the memory is so real, if I can just hold onto it. "Are you Martha?"

"Clark, I'm Kate. You know that. You must have been dreaming."

I close my eyes to concentrate. The name Martha spins through my head, pulling at my heart strings, though I don't know why. A memory arises, dim at first, then comes into focus. I see her now, her face full of love. Love so strong and so true that it's almost a tangible thing, a protective warmth that wraps itself around me. But there is pain in her eyes and fear. I feel her loving arms ripped away from me. Why is she so sad? Who is she?

My eyes open. I must have fallen back to sleep. There's a set of French doors to my right and through them I see the sun setting. The room has taken on a fiery golden hue. Kate is no longer at my side, but I hear her voice. She's whispering with someone and sounds panicked. My heart beats a little faster thinking something might be wrong. But the voice that responds is deep, even, and calm. I'm instantly soothed by its resonance. 

"Sir, he's starting to remember. What if he regains his strength and wants to leave?"

"I have everything under control, Kate. The only memories he has will be fleeting ones."

"But how? What are you doing to him?"

"That will be all, Kate."

A shuffling of feet and a door closing. I must be alone. The sun continues on its downward path and the room becomes blood red. Just when I feel myself begin to nod off, the mattress shifts beneath me. Someone is crawling onto the bed. A warm body curls up next to mine and a damp face nuzzles my neck. Him.

I feel relieved, like I was expecting him. He touches my face and his fingers send chills through my body. His touch is so familiar, so intimate, so... Lex. That's his name! I remember now. I remember coming here. He sent me to this place because he cares so much about me.

But where do the dark feelings come from? Why can't I remember anything but Lex? And why is Lex crying?

I force myself to sit up so I can look at his face. He looks so tired. I pull him up into my arms. "Lex, it's okay. I'm here. What could possibly be so bad now that we're together?" He sobs into my shoulder. I feel his tears soak through my new silk pajamas.

"Clark, I'm so sorry," he chokes.

"Sorry for what? Lex, you're worrying me."

"For sending you here, leaving you alone for so long. And even after all that you've been through, you still put my feelings first. I don't deserve you."

I cup his face in my hands so I can look into his eyes. Maybe something there will help me make sense of what he's saying. "Everything I've been through? No, I had to come here. It was for my own good. That's what you told me yesterday." My mind is getting sharper. I distinctly remember seeing Lex the day before.

__

How are you, Clark? I hope you're comfortable in your new home. This *is* your home, Clark. You'll never have to worry again. I'm going to take care of you. I love you.

His words are engraved in my mind. I recite them back to him verbatim. "That's what you said to me. That you would take care of me, and that... and that you love me."

He gets up from the bed with a jerk and walks to the French doors. I look past him at the now faded purple of the horizon. "Lex, I love you too." I think I love him. Who else is there to love? Who else is there in the world for that matter? All I know is Lex. All I need is Lex. My mind brings back the face of the woman, the one who loved me so. Was her name Marsha? It was only a dream anyway. The joy I see on Lex's face after what I've just told him is all that matters.

"Oh, Clark." He comes back to the bed and pulls me into a sweet and tender kiss, pausing only to take off his shirt. As I lie back, I feel my own shirt coming off and soft kisses all over my chest. At last, the light from the outside is completely diminished and Lex's movements become faster and hungrier, like a vampire whose true nature is revealed with the setting of the sun. My eyelids grow heavy with pleasure as I feel Lex's warmth all over me, inside me.

At some point, the movement stops. The heavy body collapses on me and breathes loudly next to my ear. Then all is darkness.

**********

The morning light reflects on the white face to my left. Pieces of the night before come back to me, but it's mostly a blur. How long has he been here? It seems he's been with me the whole time and yet I don't remember waking up next to him until now.

He mutters in his sleep. I wonder if he's dreaming of me. I decide I should get up and take a shower. Or at least find a shower. I slip out of the bed quietly and as soon as I get to my feet, my legs give out.

I find myself looking up at the ceiling from the floor. What is wrong with me? As I turn over to stand up, I notice something under the bed. I pull it out to get a closer look at what appears to be a lead box. As I open it, I'm overtaken by a blinding green light...


	4. Vision

Title: Vision

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 4 of ?

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst/Drama

Spoilers: Rogue

Author's Note**:** Man! I was going for a PG-13 rating all the way through. But this chapter had a specific story to tell and a specific way to tell it. (Or so The Lady told me. 'The Lady' being my new nickname for my muse. She's become quite uppity of late. And yes, it is a direct rip off of Lady Chablis from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. :))

**********

"Sometimes I think I died that day. He didn't come for me in time and the car sank. The water is cold and unending and all I see is his face. That beautiful face, like he's holding open the Door of Heaven."

"Or Hell. Depends on how you look at it."

"Clark. I didn't know you were here."

"I wasn't... I'm not. Neither are you."

"Well, then where aren't we?"

"In the river. Where I left you to die."

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't."

"You should have."

Silence.

"Is there nowhere else we can go, Clark? The water is thick and I long to see your face in the light."

"You need me."

"I need you."

"Take my hand."

Shift. 

Lex looked around to find himself outside the Kents' house, but he could tell something was off. The sky above was full of menacing rain clouds ready to burst at any moment, but that wasn't it. He had visited Clark on cloudy days before, this was different somehow.

He moved his eyes back to the house, hoping to find comfort. The Kent home had always been like a source of warmth to him. He often marveled at how the house itself seemed to exude love, how Clark and his parents so effortlessly fueled that wholesome flame. But not today. The house was dark and cold, the windows boarded up, the flowers all dead. Fearful, he gripped Clark's hand tighter, then looked down realizing Clark's hand wasn't there.

"Clark?" He ran around to the side of the house, where he found Clark digging a large hole outside the barn. "Clark, what are you doing?"

"She always loved white roses."

Lex raised his arm and saw that he held two white roses in his clenched fist. "Who?"

Clark motioned to his right where his mother lay on the ground. "Thank you for remembering. I'm sure she would have been very happy."

"Martha!" Lex dropped the flowers and ran to the woman's side. He shook her gently, trying to wake her up. "Clark, help me!" Clark continued digging, as though he couldn't hear. Lex put his ear to Martha's face but couldn't hear any breathing.

"That's good enough," Clark said as he put down the shovel. He bent over and picked up his mother's lifeless body, and softly put her down in the earth. "She put so much of her life into this farm, it's only right that we bury her here." After a brief moment of reflection, he picked up the shovel and started refilling the hole.

Lex fell to his knees, powerless to stop any of it, not knowing how or why it was happening. He looked down at the once beautiful, warm woman as the tears welled up in his eyes. Just as they started to overflow, the clouds finally broke letting fall a heavy, cold rain. He looked up at the sky and he thought he could hear an airplane somewhere above the clouds. How he envied that plane, being above all this darkness in a place of light.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft cry. "Clark, did you say something?" Clark merely grunted in response, focused on his task.

Again Lex heard the cry, louder this time and coming from beneath him. He looked into the hole, afraid to hope. Martha's right hand, now partially covered in damp soil, was twitching slightly, her face contorted as though she was waking up from a deep sleep. Lex grabbed Clark's arms to hold him still.

"She's alive! Look at her hand!"

Clark tilted his head to see better. "So she is," he stated coldly, "and just when I thought I was finished..."

"What?" Without answering, Clark raised the shovel high above his head and brought it down on his mother's skull with a deafening crack.

"CLARK...

**********

...NO!!!" Lex sat up in the bed, breathless. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was and to realize that the moisture on his face was his tears.

__

Just a dream, he thought. _Although figuratively speaking, not far from reality._

He took a deep breath and dried his eyes. Once he was fully awake, he noticed that Clark wasn't in the bed next to him. In a panic, he jumped from the bed. "Clark? Clark, where are you?" The only response was a faint panting. Lex turned to the French doors and saw Clark's bare feet under the curtains, the outline of his body balled up like he was under attack.

He quickly shuffled to Clark's side and pulled the curtains away, shocking Clark out of his frenzied silence.

"No, please! Please don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me!"

"Clark, it's me, Lex!" He could hardly hear himself over Clark's frightened cries. He grabbed the other boy's shoulders to get his attention. "What is it, Clark? What's wrong?"

Clark turned to face him, still panting, his face soaked with a mixture of sweat and tears. Lex had never seen him so pale.

"Lex," he whispered, as he threw himself into Lex's arms. "Make it stop. Please make it stop, Lex. It - ah! - it hurts so much, make it stop!"

Lex held Clark tightly, trying to stop his shaking. He was near tears himself, wondering what he could do to help. And then it dawned on him. He turned around and saw the open box emanating the green shimmer of destruction. "Goddamn it!" He ran to the box and closed it. Then out of anger, guilt, and temporary madness, he opened the French doors, ran out on the deck, and threw it as far as he could. He didn't move until he saw it finish its descent of three floors and crush on the ground.

After regaining what he knew was a poor excuse for composure, he walked back into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Clark lay on his stomach, breathing more slowly than before. Despite the circumstances, Lex couldn't help but notice the young man's beauty, the strong back moving up and down with his breath, the muscled legs clearly defined through his silk pajama bottoms.

Lex reached out and placed a gentle hand on the back of Clark's neck, from which Clark instantly recoiled, backing up toward the drapes. And again with the quickened breath.

He drew his knees up to his chest and for the first time, actually saw the room around him, instead of just looking at it. So small it seemed, just a normal bedroom. A bedroom that had been his entire universe only moments before, and an unfathomable, mysterious universe for countless isolated moments before that. His physical pain was gone, but his confusion remained, his brain refusing to cooperate after the encounter with that - rock. 

__

Ask questions, he thought. _Maybe if Lex tells me as much as he can, the rest will fill itself in._

But he didn't know where to begin. Millions of questions were already coursing through his mind, competing for admittance into the realm of spoken words, and not one of them even denting the cell of wrought ignorance that held his mind prisoner. Flustered, he decided to start with something basic.

"Where are we?"

Lex remained on his knees where he had tried to reach out to Clark. Solemnly, he lifted his head until their eyes met. "Seattle."

Not even the tiniest dent. "Seattle?! Why? How did we get to Seattle? What are we doing here?" Pause. _Oh, what the hell. _"Lex, what the fuck is going on?"

"You really don't remember," Lex wondered, more to himself than to Clark.

"Remember what? What don't I remember?"

Even more quietly, "I mean, I knew you would be out of it, that your mind would slow down, but I never... my God, you can't even remember!"

"Answer me!!!" Clark's preternatural volume startled Lex out of his contemplation and he timidly blurted out two words.

"Sam Phelan."

Clark choked on his own saliva as the name penetrated his ears. Sam Phelan. Such animosity for that name, such hatred, like a living breathing anger was awakening inside him, not yet a memory and still strong enough to burn through him like hot ice. At last, one of the neurons in his brain sprang back into action, shooting a vivid scene before his eyes.

__

He was in Metropolis, standing in the way of a swerving bus, then blinking as the metal wrapped around his body like tinfoil. 

~pulse~

He was in the barn as a generator came crashing down on him. Chucking it easily away, he heard the sardonic clapping of the man who shouldn't have been there, shouldn't have seen.

~pulse~

He was in a dark room looking for a safe, knowing he shouldn't be there, thinking of a way to turn the tables. He ran to the top of the stairs after finding the safe, and happily dropped it on the waiting car below.

~pulse~

A dead body. A gun in a plastic bag. His father in handcuffs.

Clark stomped angrily through the living room. His fury no longer under his control, he pounded one of the wooden support beams, the feel of it breaking with the impact of his fist only feeding his aggression.

"That's what you get for trying to be a hero, Clark. You're a pretty smart boy, but you forget. I've been doing this a long time."

Clark turned on Phelan, resisting the urge to break him like he did the beam. "Who's that man?"

"Did you really think you could double cross me? Clark, my job is about scenarios. You never enter a crackhouse with one plan, you go in with ten! That's how you survive! The truth is, kid, YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME A LOT OF OPTIONS!!!"

Yell at me again and I'll rip out your throat, Clark thought, as his violent urges grew stronger with each second. "I want my dad out of jail."

"You complicate my life, I'm gonna complicate yours!" Clark threw him against another support beam, but Phelan laughed, his shrill pitch bordering on hysteria. "Maybe next time I'll get your mom, Clark. Sure, we'll find a nice young man and cut him up. Make it look like she was fucking around on your dad and things got ugly."

"Fuck you!" Clark slammed him harder, denting the wood with the back of Phelan's head.

"Oh don't worry. Pretty ladies like your mom get along fine in prison. Before you know it, she'll be some woman's bitch -"

Before he got a chance to finish, before Clark even saw what was happening, his hands released the lapels of Phelan's suit jacket and reached for his head. With the speed and precision of a trained professional, he had the palm of his left hand planted firmly on the man's chin, and the fingers of his right hand digging into the back of his head. With a roar of unfiltered rage, he twisted the head sharply and felt several reverberating snaps.

Then, as if in slow motion, Phelan's face, the very portrait of surprise, went blank. A small trickle of blood escaped the corner of his lips and he collapsed at Clark's feet in a lifeless heap of flesh and bone.

**********

Clark blinked. Once. Twice. The frightening vision cut off and he was back in the room with Lex. Upon seeing the tears in Lex's eyes, he realized that he had been recounting the whole story aloud.

"I killed a man," Clark said, wiping his own tears. "But I still don't understand. How does that tie in?"

Lex stood up, knowing it was time to relive his side of the story. Taking a deep breath, he ran his hand over his head and began.

"The day that you... the day it happened, I was there."

"You saw me -"

"Yes. I came over to see how things were going, to see if Phelan was still bothering you, but just as I arrived, the cops were driving your father away and your mom was getting in her car to follow. She explained what was going on and I asked if I could go in to see you.

"Before she was able to answer, we heard shouting coming from inside and she recognized one voice as yours. I said I'd be willing to bet the other was Phelan's.

"By then, your father was gone. Martha jumped out of the car and I sprinted to the front door, thinking she was following close behind. But when I got there, she wasn't with me. I didn't think on it too long, because when I looked through the screen door, I saw you and Phelan facing off, him screaming something about how you didn't leave him a lot of options. I instantly understood that he was the one who planted the body in the barn and my first instinct was to walk in and threaten him with you. Hell, I had the door halfway open. But the rage, Clark. The rage in your eyes was like nothing I'd ever seen and it froze me. And when he started talking about your mom, it was like I could feel the heat of your stare shooting through him and across the room."

__

Lex knew that was the last straw. He knew that if he didn't try to intervene, Clark was going to do something horrible. He ran into the house just as Clark was putting his hands on Phelan's head.

"Clark, stop!!!"

But his voice drowned in the power of Clark's scream and the crunching of Phelan's neck. Lex's stomach churned as he watched the body crumble to the floor, curling over itself at what seemed like an impossible angle.

Unable to move, or even breathe, Lex stared on wanting it to be a dream or an illusion, wishing against wish that he wasn't really seeing it. But there it was. The body unmoving, the eyes unblinking, the skin of the neck grotesquely stretched and twisted.

When he thought for sure he was going to vomit, Clark started losing his balance, wobbling at first, then toppling over completely onto his back. Behind him stood Martha, breathless, red-faced, and holding a large green rock with both hands.

Lex looked at his unconscious friend and back up at the boy's mother. "What did you do?"

"He... he's uh, allergic. To the meteor rocks. I heard the anger in his voice and didn't know what else to do. I just had to stop him from doing something stu-" She noticed Phelan's body for the first time. "Oh... oh, God."

Martha dropped the rock and nearly became the third fallen body in the room, but Lex ran over to catch her.

"Martha, listen to me! We don't have time for this. Clark's in trouble and I can get him out of it but I need your help. Please, stay with me!"

"Oh, Clark no." Her bloodshot eyes refused to focus on the sordid sight before her.

"Martha, please! Clark needs you!"

Her motherly instincts finally took over, snapping her back to reality. "Lex, you're right, we need to get him out of here. Can you take him back to the castle?"

"Everyone knows he's friends with me. The castle will be one of the first places they check."

"Well take him somewhere for God's sake! Who knows what he'll do if the police try to take him?"

"You don't think he'd hurt an innocent -"

"I don't know, Lex. After what happened with his father and now this... he's not thinking clearly. You have to take him away, take him somewhere he can cool off until we figure out what to do."

"Okay, okay! I'll drive him to the Metropolis airport. My private jet is always fueled and waiting in case of last-minute emergencies."

Emergency, Martha thought, as something dark inside of her laughed maniacally at the understatement.

Lex returned to Clark's side and bent down to pick him up. He was surprisingly light and Lex held him close. Unconsciously, Clark groaned and rested his warm face sweetly against Lex's chest, bringing a lump to the older boy's throat for the first time since the beginning of all this.

This poor boy, he thought. He has no idea what's in store for him.

Once Lex got to his car, Martha assisted him in opening the door and laying the seat back. He finished situating Clark's unnervingly long legs and turned to Martha, suddenly noticing she had the rock with her. He gave her a doubtful look.

"Just in case." Reluctantly, he took it from her and leaned across Clark to slip it under the driver's seat.

"I'll send someone for Phelan," he said straightening his shirt.

"No, it's okay. I know what to do."

"Are you sure? This is becoming a messy situation..."

"Really, Lex. I have a plan. But you have to go before someone comes along!" She brushed past her new partner in crime and knelt down to kiss her son goodbye. Her protective surge of adrenaline had kept the tears at bay, but they would be held no longer. She covered her son's face in kisses, leaving a salty trail behind, and only when she felt Lex's hand on her shoulder did she desist.

"My sweet boy," she sobbed. "Lex, take care of him."

He took the broken woman in his arms. "I swear to you, he'll be just fine. I'll take him to one of my father's properties and -"

"Go. Go now, before I change my mind."

Lex nodded. He closed Clark's door and jogged around to the other side, starting the car before he even had his own door shut.

Martha crossed her arms in front of her chest tightly and fixed her eyes on the car until she couldn't see it anymore.

**********

Lex stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bed, exhausted after the retelling. 

Clark attempted to take it all in. He knew he wasn't the only one who had been through an ordeal and when he spoke, his voice was soft.

"So what did she do? About Phelan, I mean."

"She turned herself in for the murder."

"She what?!" Clark sat up straight.

"It didn't work, Clark. Besides the fact that no one would believe her, there were scratches on the back of Phelan's head where you grabbed him and they didn't find a trace of his DNA under her fingernails."

"So they know it was me," Clark said with a defeated sigh, "I'm wanted for murder. But what about my dad?"

"He - he didn't beat the murder charge. I told your mom I'd get my best lawyers on the case but she said no."

"W-why?"

"She knew that they would more than likely get him cleared. She also knew that if your father were free, he would never stop searching until he found you, that he'd want you to face up to your problem the 'honest' way."

"So she'd rather have me locked up in some room with one of those rocks?"

"Clark, she didn't know I kept the rock." Lex shifted his eyes to the floor nervously. "That was my idea. I just wanted to keep you calm. I didn't want you to be afraid. I sent a nurse in to hook you up to an IV and some mild sedatives, but she claimed she couldn't get the needle through your skin." Now Clark's eyes shifted.

"I told your mother that if I was going to take care of you, that she needed to be honest with me. She told me everything. The meteor shower, all of it. Up until then, the rock had been in the room with you. So I had one of the servants break off a small piece and put it into a thin lead box, so the effect wouldn't be as strong. I didn't think you would lose so much of your memory, but after all this time..."

Clark felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "What do you mean 'all this time?'" His voice began to quiver. "Lex, what is the date?"

"Clark, you're tired. Maybe we should -"

"Lex. Tell. Me."

"It's June 10th."

"Six months?" His eyes widened.

"...of... 2003."

Clark fell back against the door, feeling the blood leave his face.

"No. No, you're lying! There's no way. My mom would never let me go for so long, she would never go that long without calling or coming to see me!"

"The police were watching her, Clark. They suspected she was hiding you and they were keeping a close eye on her. It was too risky for her to contact you."

"B-but you talked to her. How did she contact you without leading the police to us?"

Lex pinched the bridge of his nose. "I... wasn't here. I didn't come until yesterday."

"No! You were here, you talked to me! I remember every word!"

Choking back a sob, Lex pointed to the wall across the room from the bed. There stood an old-fashioned wooden armoire that Clark hadn't noticed before. On trembling legs, he stood and slowly crossed the room, reaching for the knobs. With a creak, the double doors opened and inside was a television and VCR, clarifying everything.

"You taped yourself?! You left me alone in this room for a year and a half with a fucking videotape?!?"

Lex tried to defend himself, his pitch rising. "I wanted you to feel -"

"YOU BRAINWASHED ME!!! No wonder I remember it word for word. 'This is your home, Clark. I love you.' You had me watching this thing every day, maybe every hour that I was here! Does my mom know about that part of the plan, Lex? That I'd have to listen to you profess your love so many times that I'd believe I loved you back? That I'd let you have your way with me, let you inside my body?!" Clark doubled over with racking sobs as he remembered the night before, the way Lex had touched him, the way he had liked it.

"I was afraid to come. I didn't want anyone to follow me," Lex yelled, openly weeping.

"You wanted me for yourself. You weren't concerned with my freedom, you just wanted to make sure no one found your new toy."

"Clark, I'm so sorry!"

"Save it. You've taken a year of my life that I can never get back, and it ends now. Call the airport."

"Clark, you're still wanted. The police will arrest you the second they see you!"

"Well, then your little team of lawyers better get on the ball, because I'm getting out. If I can't go by plane, I'll just run home. And you _know_ I could do it."

Lex felt his heart sinking into his stomach. Knowing there was nothing else he could say or do to make things better, knowing that this, his most recent of fuck-ups was monumental, even for him, recognizing the look on Clark's face as the very one Lex reserved for, _oh God, _his own father, he left the room in search of a phone.

Clark, once more alone, scurried to the other side of the bed where Lex had left his jacket the night before. He found a cell phone in the inside pocket and with trembling fingers, dialed his home number.

One ring.

Two. _For Christ's sake, please!_

Click. "Hello?"

"Mom?" A short gasp on the other end of the line. "Mom it's me. I'm coming home." 


	5. Pretense

Title: Pretense

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 5 

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst/Drama

Feedback: It's like eating a crunchy Peep the week after Easter. (Which means it's a good thing.) Please review. :)

**********

The only sound was that of forks clinking against plates as Jonathan and Clark ravenously shoveled food into their mouths. Martha sat sipping her coffee, her appetite not allowing for much else of late, and recalled dimly how that sound used to make her skin crawl.

"Slow down," she used to say, "your food isn't going anywhere. If you aren't careful, you'll crack the china." It was always delivered in a loving tone however, and Clark and his father always replied to her admonitions with the blank stare only hungry and overworked men are capable of giving. 

__

That'll teach me**, **she would think, _for trying to teach dining etiquette to a farmer and his son._

But today, the clinking wasn't coming from a farmer and his son savoring a home-cooked meal after a hard day of work, so much as a farmer and his son trying desperately to fill the ever-increasing silence that seemed to be swallowing the house whole. And instead of being humorously perturbed by the racket, Martha relished it. Anything besides the paranoid rantings of her own mind, which plagued her endlessly over the last year and a half, was a welcome change.

It astonished her to see how quickly her husband and son fell back into their old rhythm. The three of them had only been back together as a family for about a week, and already Clark and Jonathan had perfected their synchronized science of eating. Together, the clicks and scrapes of their forks reminded Martha of the rhythm of some long-forgotten nursery rhyme, and they stopped at regular intervals to take a loud swallow of water, always together. She often used to laugh out loud at this, not just at the mere sight of it, but at the fact that they clearly had no idea they were doing it. _Sometimes Clark is more like Jonathan than Jonathan himself_, she used to think.

She thought back to the day one week earlier when she had picked up Clark at the airport. She nearly smothered him with her joyful tears and while he didn't show much emotion of his own, he allowed her to dote. Lex remained a few feet away, out of respect for the reunion she guessed, and spoke only when she guided Clark into the car and shut the door.

"My lawyers are finishing up a few things, just some legal formalities. You can pick up Mr. Kent in the morning."

She tried to thank him, but the lump in her throat threatened to burst into full-blown tears, and she settled for gently touching his face. Such unconditional generosity was rare, especially from a Luthor, and she was unspeakably grateful.

For the first few days back with her family, she felt happy and whole. None of them were overly talkative, but that wasn't surprising, and knowing that it was all behind them was all that mattered. But thinking it was behind them was a huge error in judgment on Martha's part. The ranting inside her head was definitely gone, but something even darker had taken its place.

Only now, as she sat at the dinner table, listening to the sonata of clicks, scrapes, and gulps, did she begin to understand what it was. Guilt. She had let Jonathan stay behind bars for what seemed like an eternity. She had let him stay there under the pretense that she and Lex were doing everything in their power to get him out. Even now, she let Jonathan hold onto that pretense, knowing that the truth would crush him. She told Clark the same story on the drive home, not realizing he already knew the truth. And the harder she tried to justify these lies, telling herself it was for the sake of her child, the heavier the guilt became, like a stubborn, immovable weight that had planted itself inside of her and refused to let go.

__

Going through the motions, Jonathan thought. The phrase had never been more accurate. Eat, sleep, work on the farm. He winced at the thought of the farm. 

Upon returning home, the first thing he had done was run to Clark, openly crying in front of his son for the first time in his life. As soon as he regained his composure, they had gone to the loft to catch up. Jonathan gazed at the farm through the opening in the wall as they exchanged heavily edited stories about their time apart.

During one of Martha's visits to the prison, she had mentioned that Lex hired workers to take care of everything until Jonathan could get back home.

"Tell him to forget it. I do not want him spoiling my crops with his filthy experimental fertilizer. It's my farm and I don't want him near it."

"Jonathan, I can't take care of it by myself, and it's our only source of income. Would you rather I get a job substitute teaching and sit by as everything we've worked for goes to waste?"

In the end, he had agreed... reluctantly. But as he looked out from the loft, what he saw sickened him. He had expected his animals to be dead or dying and his fields full of freakishly large tomatoes or radioactive corn. What he saw was the exact opposite. His animals were in perfect health. Well-fed but not overweight, producing milk and eggs beautifully. His crop was immaculate. Perfect shining rows of corn, not a rotten fruit or vegetable in sight, and even a small extension had been added to Martha's garden.

In short, the place looked better than it ever had, and he couldn't stand it. He remembered standing back each day after an honest day's work and looking proudly over his creation, his contribution, _his_ little corner of the earth. This farm existed because of his own blood, sweat, and tears, and to watch someone- a Luthor, no less- walk in and outdo him with no more than a wad of bills and a confident smile made him positively ill. 

But as he sat, eating his dinner, he tried to console himself with the knowledge that at least Martha was being taken care of, and at least they were all together now. Something about all of this was rubbing him the wrong way, something that he felt would have been obvious, had he the courage to face it, but he chose to turn his back on that train of thought. Sometimes the anticipation of a crash was worse than the crash itself, and as much as it pained him, he made a conscious decision to remain ignorant.

Clark was the glue holding this delicate creation together. He was the only one who knew the whole story, and he and Lex were the only ones who knew that he knew. He felt he should be saying something, perhaps acting as the dutiful son and trying to bring his family back to normalcy through idle chatter and stupid jokes. Or, perhaps, blurt every nauseating detail of the tale he'd been told by Lex, if not to clear the air, then to at least shatter their ridiculous façade of renewed domestic bliss. But all he could do was eat, and not necessarily for the sake of filling up the silence, although that was part of it.

In the week that he'd been home, or more appropriately, the week that he'd been away from the meteor rock, he felt his body coming back to life. When Lex had tossed it out the window, Clark's immediate pain had disappeared, but as the days went by, he understood that the less prominent effects on his body and mind were wearing off much more slowly. Not surprising after a ye--

Shit. He'd put an adamant Do Not Enter sign on that part of his memory, and somehow he kept wandering back there.

Shifting back to his previous thoughts, he felt his body waking up after what he thought of as a painfully long winter, and food had never tasted so good.

But even when he had the presence of mind to speak, there wasn't much to say. He could hardly look at his parents, as the new wrinkles on their faces betrayed the year of hell they had just been through. He, himself, was having a hard time accepting the knowledge that over a year of his own life had gone by without much more than a few warped memories and an unsettling hardness to show for it. Still, he felt paragraphs upon paragraphs always at the tip of his tongue, swimming through his mind, begging to be uttered in any order. But all he ever did was think about these words, and even when he had the courage to say something relevant, it came out sounding redundant.

Besides, his mother had made the game she was playing very clear on the way home from the airport. As soon as they had driven away from Lex, Clark took a deep breath, prepared to let every detail of what had happened pour out. He even had a fresh well of tears in his eyes, not only because of the story he wanted to tell, but thinking about the inevitable moment when Martha would park the car on the side of the road and comfort him with her loving embrace and maybe a few tears of her own. He'd seen the way she touched Lex before she got in the car, and he had become very possessive. She was _his_ mother and it was _his _turn to melt down, and damn it, he was just about to show her how wrong she was about Lex Fucking Luthor!

"Mom, I--"

"Honey, everything is going to be okay. Lex and I have been having regular meetings with his lawyer and we finally came up with a plan to get your dad cleared. Isn't that wonderful? You and your father are coming home at the same time! I can't believe I ever doubted Lex. He really is one of the most generous people I..."

She continued her praise as Clark tuned her out. _She doesn't know that I know! _His tears started to burn his eyes as his vulnerability turned to rage. _She has no idea about the rock. She just figures Lex was keeping this from me. My mother is keeping secrets from me with Lex Luthor!_

What upset him the most wasn't the manufactured tone of her voice. That we to be expected. She _was _lying after all. Even the lies themselves weren't the most painful factor, though they were a very close second. What made his heart thump and his temples scream was that the tone she used when speaking of Lex was _absolutely genuine._ She adored Lex. She held him on a pedestal after all she believe he'd done for Clark. As sick as it made him, he could hear in her voice that she was beginning to think of Lex as a second son.

__

So does that make me guilty of incest, or does it even count when your adopted?

God! The bitterness of his thoughts were as horrifying as the memory of that night. But once he felt himself snap, there as no turning back. If this was the way Martha Kent wanted to play it, Clark would follow suit. Let her have her precious Lex. Let her believe he was the savior of their family, and that she'd gotten away with her lies. He was tired of being the peacemaker, and as of that moment, he gave up the position permanently. He let her believe that he had spent a happy little vacation in Seattle, never mind the blatant rift that had formed between him and the rest of the world.

And so they sat. A family reunited at long last, contentedly sharing a warm dinner, each willing to put a lid on the past, each knowing that it was probably going to blow up in their faces eventually, and somehow remaining silent.

Click, clink, scrape. Slurp, swish, gulp.

**********

"I'm worried about you, Lex."

He nearly choked on his coffee. Certainly he must be hearing things. He had expected rants, tirades, curses, maybe even physical violence. He had prepared himself for this moment, understanding and accepting each and every hideous scenario, half-expecting a mixture of several of them. He had actually set himself up for it, refusing his initial instinct to run away, to hide out, knowing that he deserved to be ripped to shreds by the woman he had come to think of as a dear friend.

And on this beautiful summer day of mid-June, as Martha Kent delivered his produce for the week, every scenario he had concocted for this confrontation (and even a few he'd overlooked) was knocked flat on its ass by the obvious concern in her voice, so sincere it was painful.

"Um... what?"

"Well, look at you. You're pale, you have bags under your eyes, and I can smell the alcohol on your breath from down the street." She sat down on the couch next to him and felt his forehead, startling him so badly that he had to put his mug down on the coffee table to prevent himself from dropping it. "Have you even been to sleep?"

"I... uh..."

"I knew it. Clark is going through the very same thing. He won't even lie down anymore. He just goes out to the loft and looks through his telescope for hours on end."

Clark. A rational sentence finally congealed in Lex's head and he spit it out before it had a chance to get away. "H-how is Clark?"

"Oh, he's quiet, but I suppose that's to be expected. I know he's just as grateful as I am that we're all together again. He's just missed so much, he'll need time to adjust." She continued on with the speed of a woman trying to convince herself and everyone around her that everything is absolutely, positively finer than fine. "Speaking of which, he registered for summer school. If he sticks with it, and takes a few extra courses once school starts, he should be all caught up by December. You know, if I'd known things would drag on for so long, I'd have asked you to hire a private tutor for him while he was away." She giggled nervously.

__

What the fuck? Not only did she completely skip over the details of Clarks time away, she was making jokes about it! Bad jokes. _My God, she doesn't know! Clark hasn't told her anything!_ He was doubtful of this epiphany, but the mere fact that he was lacking a second asshole this far into the conversation was absolute proof that Martha didn't know a thing about what really happened.

But why? Clark had murder in his eyes when Lex told him everything and rightly so. What could possibly have made him stay quiet? While his broken heart wanted desperately to believe that maybe Clark understood his motives and forgave him, his mind knew better. Martha's hereto unbroken stream of chatter cut into his reverie.

"...so if he comes to you, just let him believe it. I can't stand lying to him, but the truth would hurt him much more."

"The truth? I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"About Jonathan. I said Clark thinks we've been trying to get his father out of jail all this time, and I want it to stay that way. He just wouldn't understand."

And there you have it. On the private jet ride back to the Metropolis airport, Clark had said nothing to Lex. The few times they made eye contact, Clark looked as though he had to physically restrain himself form attacking. Lex left him and went to the sleeping quarters of the immense plane. Curled up tightly on the satin sheets, he cried hard into a pillow. Clark was his life. Clark was the reason he still had his life. He remembered all the awkward and endearing smiles the young man had always given him, and knew they would be forever replaced by the enraged contempt that now inhabited that beautiful face.

On top of that, he knew Clark would spill every word of what happened, not only shutting him out of Martha's good graces, but surely incurring Jonathan's wrath in the form of a bullet. Or ten.

Only now, things were different. Martha lied to Clark, and Clark knew it. So he opted to lie right back. Out of spite? No. Lex knew Clark and he didn't have a spiteful bone in his body. Well, maybe after all he'd been through, one or two spiteful bones. But that wasn't the reason. It just didn't make sense.

"...and he's going to be a senior this year and when I think of him graduating and getting his diploma, I know that you're the one I have to thank, and Lex, you're so, and I love, and you are..."

Martha's tone became frighteningly sincere for the second time as she cupped Lex's face, hardly able to finish one praise before starting the next.

__

It's because of me. Lex and Martha had become astoundingly close as only sharing a difficult situation can do to two people. He became another son that she just happened to miss out on raising, and she became another mom that he just happened to miss out on getting raised by. Clark must have seen her inability to mention Lex's name without becoming choked up with gratitude, and with _love_, and chose to remain silent. Certainly not out of any kindness to Lex. Not at all. But out of a deep-rooted love for his mother (that he probably didn't even realize was still there) and the need to see her happy, even under dishonest circumstances. After all of her suffering, the truth about Lex would kill her.

Soon, tears were in Lex's eyes as well. He truly loved this woman, and was so happy that she didn't completely despise him. He hugged her, resting his face on her shoulder and his tears matured to sobs as he smelled the fresh scent of the farm on her. The scent he associated with Clark, the scent that remained in his memory long after sending the sweet boy away. Perhaps a small piece of that sweetness remained. Lex couldn't live with himself knowing that he'd spoiled such innocence, and took comfort from the idea that the old Clark might not be totally lost.

********** 

"Fuck," Clark muttered under his breath.

"I beg your pardon?" Obviously not quietly enough.

"Nothing, Dad."

"It sure didn't sound like nothing," Jonathan said reprovingly.

"Dad, I'm sorry! That's the second board I've broken in ten minutes! It just slipped out, okay?!"

"Whoa! Clark, calm down, it's okay. Just don't curse in front of your mother, all right? And maybe I should take over with the fence."

"No, I got it."

"Really, Clark. I'm just about finished with--"

"I said I got it!"

Jonathan blinked in surprise and Clark's expression softened. "Sorry, Dad. I... that storm is coming in quick and I think I have a better chance of..." He trailed off.

"No, you're right, son. It's best to have it finished before it rains."

Clark turned back to his work as Jonathan baled the last of the hay and headed back to the house for a shower. He startled Martha as he burst through the door and didn't even look in her direction when she asked if he was okay.

"Fine." He jogged up the stairs leaving his wife with her mouth hanging open.

When he got to the master bedroom, he paused as he noticed the framed picture of the three of them on his nightstand. They all looked so happy, so untainted. He studied Clark's smile with a pang in his chest as he thought of the profanity escaping those lips. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but until that day, he had forced himself to ignore it.

Now he knew something was off. They had been back together for several weeks, and the "period of readjustment" excuse was wearing pretty thin. He didn't expect things to be completely back to normal immediately, but Clark wasn't even making progress. He was moving _backwards_ for God's sake!

Often, Jonathan would stand at the door of the loft, unbeknownst to Clark, and watch his son gaze into the night sky. Sometimes, the younger Kent looked through the telescope, others, he just stared into the darkness, almost like he wanted to fall into it.

There had always been a longing in Clark's eyes, a sadness that Jonathan and Martha couldn't erase. He wanted to know about his biological parents, and that was perfectly understandable. But the look in Clark's eyes now, not to mention the endless hours he spent in his Fortress of Solitude, revealed a much deeper pain, a hunger that chilled Jonathan to the bone. Clark was... incomplete. Like a vital part of his existence had been ripped away, and his remaining half was fighting desperately to get it back.

Soft thunder rumbled overhead, reminding Jonathan about the fence. He looked out his bedroom window and saw Clark pushing in the last few nails with his thumb. He finished just as a car drove up the road behind him and pulled into the driveway.

The two passengers of the car, silent until now, exchanged an anxious glance.

"Do you think he'll be... different?"

"I don't know. I guess he'd have to be. Come on, we can't put it off anymore."

Clark turned around as the car doors slammed shut, and blinked several times, convinced he was hallucinating.

"Chloe? Pete!" Chloe waved nervously as she and Pete continued their tentative approach. Clark started toward them at an equally cautious pace. 

"Clark..." Chloe's tearful voice broke the trance, and the three of them started on a dead run, furious with the gap that had separated them for so long and eager to close it at last. They met in the middle of the yard, Pete and Chloe slamming into Clark's chest as his long arms easily enfolded them both in a fierce embrace. They stood that way for several minutes, each of them holding tight and sobbing.

They didn't see Jonathan peering down from the bedroom window with tears in his eyes. They didn't see Martha watching through the screen door, laughing and crying at the same time.

And they didn't see the long, black telephoto lens sticking out of the cornstalks across the street, snapping picture after picture.


	6. Tightening

Title: Tightening

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 6

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst/Drama

Spoilers: Kinetic, Crush

Feedback: Please review. It makes me all warm inside.

**********

Outside, bolts of lightning strobed continuously in the night sky. They weren't close enough to really notice, but they were approaching.

Inside, Clark made an honest attempt to follow the conversation, nodding his head and smiling in all the right places. But he couldn't get over the sight in front of him. The sight of his two best friends, Chloe and Pete, talking and laughing like all the time that had gone by never really happened. But Clark couldn't lie to himself. There were differences.

Pete had continued with football, and it was very obvious. His neck was thicker, his body was bulkier, and his face had a hardness that Clark had never noticed before. It unnerved him at first, but once that good old Ross smile came shining through, Clark knew his friend wasn't all that different. Just... older.

After a long look at Pete, Clark turned his attention to Chloe, who was just as animated as he remembered, although her bouncy blond hair had become a light brown, and hung almost to her shoulders. Her funky teenage-reporter taste in clothes had been replaced with a darker, more refined style, better suited to a lawyer than a high school senior.

Clark looked up as his mother set another cup of hot cocoa on the table in front of him. He smiled thanks as she went back to the kitchen, where she and Jonathan were pretending to talk about the storm, letting Clark and his friends have some privacy in the dining room.

"Yoo-hoo! Earth to Clark!" Pete's voice rang out.

"Huh?"

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Well, you haven't changed much. You're still off in your own little world."

"No, I was listening. Really."

"Then what were we talking about? Hmm?" She folded her arms and pursed her lips.

"Uh, your internship at the Daily Planet. And you're captain of the football team, Pete. Congratulations to you both, by the way."

Pete snorted. "Nice try, Kent, but we finished with that subject about ten minutes ago. It's your turn to talk. Chloe was just asking you how things have been. What did you do in-- uh...

"Seattle," Clark supplied.

"Right. How was life in the Windy City?"

Chloe stifled a laugh. "Pete? You should seriously consider wearing a helmet to practice. Just a thought."

Pete shrugged her off. "Come on, Clark. Did Luthor set you up nice or what? A penthouse? A mansion? Spill!"

Clark thought of the small room and the bed and felt a faint burning in his stomach. "Just a house," he blurted.

Chloe's eyes lit up with more questions. "Well, what about entertainment? Did you go to the Space Needle? Or Pike Place Market? I heard that's a lot of fun. I mean come on, you don't expect us to believe you were cooped up in some house the whole time."

"I wasn't cooped up. I... I did stuff."

"Well enlighten us! It's not every day our friend gets back from an extended trip halfway across the country." 

"What does it matter?! It's over now! Can we just move on?"

Pete gazed down at the table as Chloe sipped her cocoa nervously. They simultaneously came to the conclusion that they were being selfish. When they first found out about Phelan, they assumed the killing was self-defense, and therefore, saw no reason for Clark to feel guilty. The man did have it coming.

__

I suppose it's different for Clark, Chloe thought, _when he's the one who actually did it. That must be the darkness in his eyes._

But she saw something else in those eyes. Although it didn't make sense to her, the word that kept coming to mind was "emptiness." The word gave her the chills. Maybe not the word itself, so much as how well it fit. Clark was somehow less than whole.

"Hey, I'm sorry, man," Pete cut in. "Don't think it was easy around here without you, 'cause it wasn't. The only reason we were okay is because Lex was constantly telling us that _you _were okay. I guess we just never thought about your side of things."

"No, I'm sorry, guys. I'm just glad to be home, and I want to put all of this behind me." He smiled brightly, amazed at how easy it was becoming to lie. He had briefly considered telling them everything. He was aching inside and wanted desperately to confide in someone. But he was worried they would talk to his parents. Not to mention the looks of fear and disgust that he knew would pass over their faces if they learned the truth. No, he couldn't do anything to make his friends desert him, he couldn't stand to be alone again.

__

First your powers and now this. Face it, Clark. You're a born liar.

All three of them jumped as thunder cracked closer outside and the first few drops of rain hit the window.

**********

Lex sped along the freeway, the cars headed in the opposite direction nothing more than a blur of headlights. As he approached the Smallville off-ramp, the rain had been sprinkling over his windshield. By the time he entered town, it was coming down in sheets and he was glad of it.

The board meeting had lasted about three hours longer than expected, which wasn't surprising with Lionel's taste for the grandiose. But Lex absorbed little of it, as he had been looking out the window, entranced by the incoming storm clouds, nearly praying for it to pour down and wash away the darkness.

He took a slower pace than usual through the narrow country roads of Smallville, enjoying the lightning show. Even as a child, he found summer rain inexplicably thrilling. He loved the way it hit the hot roads, only to float back up in the form of steam. He drove through that steam now, smiling as he remembered how it always reminded him of spirits rising from the earth.

He also remembered a time when his mother was alive, and he and his parents had been driving home from a stuffy museum opening on a stormy night much like this one. Lex had made a comment about driving through spirits, and his father had ridiculed him for it. After all, such thoughts were for directionless artists and religious quacks.

He remembered holding back tears, wishing he weren't so silly, wishing he could be the boy his father wanted, a boy that he could be proud of. But his mother had turned around and smiled her special smile. That conspiratorial smile that she only shared with Lex that meant, "I understand" or "I agree" or just simply "I know." She had a certain way of making Lex feel loved and special whenever Lionel made him feel less than human. That night, she had come up to his room with paper and crayons, and together, they drew pictures of the storm and the friendly spirits rising from the earth.

After her death, Lex wondered if he would ever find that again. That kind of understanding and perfect harmony with another person. It wasn't long before he gave up looking.

But then there was Clark. The young, mysterious boy from the farm, who Lex almost killed upon meeting. _Well, not really_, his mind corrected. Yes, now he knew exactly what happened that day, but he hadn't known then. And somehow, knowing didn't change a thing, except to make him love the boy even more. Clark knew what it was like to be alone, to be in a kind of emotional exile, just as Lex did. No wonder he could make Lex feel so special, so understood, that illuminating smile so reminiscent of his mother's.

No wonder Lex was willing to go to such lengths to protect him.

Another flash of lightning and his thoughts returned to the board meeting, particularly his father. Up until then, he had foolishly hoped that Lionel wouldn't know, wouldn't find out. Upon seeing the unholy glint in his father's eyes, however, he realized that Lionel knew. Lionel _always _knew.

Not about Clark, though. Lex was certain that if Lionel knew anything about Clark, the shit would have hit the fan long ago. But he did know that Lex had called in a favor from a very dangerous man.

Matéo Hernandez, the most connected and influential man in the underworld of Metropolis and consequently, the right hand of Lionel Luthor in all of his less than respectable dealings, took orders from no one but Lionel, and to cross him was to be brushed out of existence. But in his own twisted way, Matéo was an honest man. He remembered his debts and paid them. Lex had been counting on this.

Several years earlier, Matéo had nearly been seduced by a young woman who called herself Miriam. Lex knew something was wrong the second Matéo introduced them at Club Zero.

Lionel didn't discuss his personal life with Matéo and being the notorious man that he was, Matéo was never invited to any of Luthor's swanky dinner parties. If he had been, he would have known that Miriam was also Lionel's newest fling, which hardly could have been coincidence.

When Miriam went off to buy some drinks, Lex let him in on this little secret. Matéo told him to leave, that sparks were about to fly, and it was best to keep any and all Luthors out of the way. He did, and he received a call from Matéo about a week later. It turns out that Miriam was an undercover detective, "one slick bitch" as Hernandez put it, and that she had come dangerously close to uncovering some rather damaging secrets about Lionel. He told Lex he was indebted to him, not only for exposing Miriam, but for sparing him the wrath of Lionel for "banging the boss's girl."

Lex had laughed at the idea of calling in that debt. While Matéo was the most connected man in Metropolis, Lionel was a close second, and he would undoubtedly find out that Lex had enlisted the help of his number one operative. He didn't need his father's wrath anymore than Matéo did.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, and when Clark made his snap decision to return to Smallville, Lex didn't know where else to turn.

The year and a half Clark spent in Seattle wasn't just an act of selfishness on Lex's part. Clark's murder case was open and shut to begin with, and his fleeing hadn't helped matters. Lex honestly didn't know anyone who could dig Clark out of a hole that deep. But in times of most dire need, the mind has a way of conjuring up a lifeboat at the last minute.

He knew he couldn't stop Clark from leaving, and he shuddered to think what would happen if they tried to arrest him, so he made a call to Matéo Hernandez, who in turn, made several calls to a few tainted members of the legal system, getting Clark Kent acquitted in record time.

Now, as Lex neared the mansion, he thought of his father's smug expression at the meeting. Of course he knew. He _always_ knew. It was just a matter of time until his rage was unleashed.

Lex could see the mansion now, and he sped up, ready to come home to the warm bath he had been promising himself all day. Just as the gates were closing behind his car, lightning crashed above him, so close it rattled the car windows, and he saw the porch lights blink out.

__

Shit.

He pulled a small flashlight from the glove box, and ran into the house, getting completely drenched in the process. He came dripping into the foyer and turned on the flashlight. There was a dart of movement in front of him, so quick he thought he had imagined it.

"Hello? Who's there?" Only the patter of the rain answered.

Lex continued toward the stairs, when another flash of lightning shone through the high windows of the sitting room, illuminating two men dressed completely in black, coming at him swiftly. Before he had time to think, the flashlight was knocked out of his hand and a large fist planted itself in his gut.

He doubled over, feeling the cold floor against his face as he tried to regain his breath, only to be kicked in the stomach again. He knew immediately who sent the goons, and his last thought before losing consciousness was of Clark's face.

__

The things I do for you, Kent.

**********

Clark entered the classroom and somewhat abashedly found a desk near the back. His embarrassment was short-lived, however, as he realized that the other students in the room were no more interested in him than they were in their own failing educations.

So this was summer school. Clark had envisioned actual classes taking place, essentially, school in the summer. But he looked up at the black board and saw only a list of different subjects; English, history, math and so on, across from which was a list of page numbers. On the bulletin board to the right, in startlingly happy yellow letters, were the words "Test Dates!" and another list.

He reached for his books, quickly becoming annoyed at the fact that he had to be there at all when he could study just as easily at home. Another quick glance at the board, and he was off to page 376 of his history book, where something extravagantly uninteresting lay, no doubt.

As he tried to focus on the page in front of him, the classroom door opened again. He was about to look up, when he decided it must be the teacher, who obviously wouldn't be doing a whole lot of teaching. Clark kept his eyes on the book and continued to read.

He soon became distracted again as he saw through his peripheral vision that the figure in the doorway was still standing there. He felt as though they were looking straight at him. A faint image of two holes being burned into the top of his head flitted through his mind.

At last, with a roll of his eyes, Clark looked up, ready to chew out whoever this idiot was.

"Clark." He nearly swallowed his tongue at the sound of that voice and at the sight of the one who possessed it.

"L-Lana."

He got up from the desk, forgetting his books, and half jogged to the front of the class. Before he even got to her, Lana was up on her toes, her arms outstretched, and finally enfolding him tightly. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, and could do neither as his breath stopped in his throat.

Soon, though, he felt Lana's fingers curling through the back of his hair and felt her quiet sobs against his cheek, and he gave way to tears once more.

As though sensing his aversion to public crying, she took his hand and guided him out of the classroom. Clark doubted anyone noticed, and if they did, they wouldn't have cared.

They ended up in the empty cafeteria. The only sound was the hum of fluorescent lights and the muffled laughter of the female cooks in the kitchen as they gossiped. Lana broke the silence.

"I heard you were back."

"You haven't come to see me," Clark nearly whispered.

"I didn't know if I was supposed to. I mean, I wanted to give you time."

"I understand."

Another long pause, during which they made eye contact only briefly. This time, Clark spoke first.

"What are you doing here?"

Lana recognized the change of subject and complied with it. Clark would talk when he was ready. "Actually, I fell behind in a few classes. I've just been so busy with the Talon."

"Chloe told me about that. How did you come up with the idea?"

"Lex was planning to have it torn down. I asked him what he thought of reviving it as a coffeehouse, and he agreed."

"_Lex_ is funding you?!"

"Well, at first. The Talon is supporting itself now."

Clark clenched his jaw, wondering why in hell Lex would be helping Lana. He brushed the thought away. "What about you and Whitney?"

Lana looked slightly surprised. "We, uh, broke up. It was getting too hard with him being a senior, and then his dad's death."

"Whitney's dad died?"

"Yeah. I figured you would have heard about that. He had a heart attack. Anyway, I think our breakup was for the best. We were really starting to outgrow each other, and he needed to focus on getting into college."

"Oh, where is he going to school?"

"Met U. He got a football scholarship."

Clark's eyebrows raised. He knew Whitney was a good player, but Metropolis University? That was a tough school to get into.

Lana obviously sensed his shock. "I guess it doesn't hurt to know important people. Lex helped Whitney get the scholarship."

"Lex? What the hell is he helping Whitney for? I thought they hated each other."

She shrugged. "Maybe he decided to turn over a new leaf. Lex has been very generous to the whole town these past few months."

Clark's head was spinning. He felt an enormous urge to pound a hole in the table next to him out of pure confusion, when it suddenly clicked together in his mind.

__

Of course, he thought. _Lex is doing all these nice things for _me_._ _Because he knows I'd want him to_.

The thought provoked not only anger and disgust, but a strange feeling in his heart, like a fist tightening around it. He took some deep breaths and it went away.

The silence was broken by another burst of laughter from the lunch ladies, and Lana looked at her watch. "Clark, I'm sorry. I really have to make up these grades. Nell says if I can't handle school, the Talon has to go."

"No, it's okay. Um, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay." She looked into his eyes for a few more seconds, kissed him quickly on the cheek and bolted from the room without looking back.

Clark remained where he was, with a look of total shock on his face for several more minutes. When he finally remembered where he was, he got up to leave, but stopped when he thought he heard one of the lunch ladies say his name. He stood completely still as they left through the kitchen exit into the parking lot, obviously finished for the day. The only other word he was able to make out as they left was "killer."

The second the door shut, he ran with super speed to the kitchen, irrationally looking around for something to disprove what he thought he had heard. In a wastebasket next to the dishwasher, he saw the top of the Inquisitor poking up. He snatched it angrily, and felt his blood run cold as he saw a picture of himself, hugging Chloe and Pete on the cover.

"Killer Farmboy Returns" the headline read. "Could these unsuspecting teens be next???"

With surprising calm, Clark rolled up the paper and stuck it in his back pocket. Then, with fire in his eyes, he sped out of the school, hardly noticing the country roads shoot by as he headed for the mansion.


	7. Cling

Title: Cling

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 7

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Angst/Drama

Feedback: Let me know what you think!

********** 

As Clark ran, the once familiar surroundings of the countryside became dark and blurred. His vision was only focused on the space before him, hardly blinking as he jumped over bushes, dodged trees, and whipped through rows of corn.

Finally, he saw the Luthor castle on the horizon. The rain clouds had lingered since the night of the big storm, but he saw that they were darkest over the castle, almost as if reflecting his intensions against its inhabitant. He could see rain coming down lightly around him, but only a few drops actually touched his face.

He never knew for sure how he got past the gate, only that he must have jumped over it, because the patience it took to bend the bars and squeeze through was more than lacking.

But Clark got to the door and somehow managed to stop himself from pounding it in, although he did knock loud enough to startle a nearby servant, who snootily answered.

"Yes?"

"Where's Lex?" Clark asked in his most threatening tone.

The middle-aged man looked him over nonchalantly. "Ah, you must be Mr. Kent. I'm sorry, sir, Master Luthor is sleeping, but he did pass on the message to make you comfortable if you came by. Perhaps you would care for something to dri--"

"Move!" Clark pushed the servant out of the way as gently as he could, which still sent the man stumbling to the floor. He ran up the stairs, luckily having the presence of mind to use a normal speed. The last thing he needed was another Phelan.

He ran through several hallways, rounding each corner with deadly precision and glancing through each door with his X-ray vision to see what was inside. In the months that he and Lex got to know each other in Smallville, Clark had never seen Lex's bedroom, nor was he even told its location. _I'm sure he didn't intend that to last long,_ he thought disgustedly.

A few seconds later, Clark came to a door, through which he saw a human skeleton lying on its back in bed. He only faintly noticed some kind of wire hooked to the body before his heart began to pound in his throat and he burst through the door, not knowing what he meant to do, only that blind rage had completely taken over.

Ripping the newspaper from his back pocket, he approached the foot of the bed. When his knees bumped against the carved wood, he saw Lex and froze.

Lex's face was bruised almost beyond recognition. Both eyes were swollen, the left worse than the right, and he had cuts and welts all over his bald head. There was an oxygen tube under his nose and his left pajama sleeve had been rolled up to allow for the IV needle in his arm. The bag of clear solution hanging from a stand beside the bed continued to swing gently from the breeze Clark had caused with his abrupt entrance.

Lex, however, remained asleep, his breathing somewhat labored, the large bed and deep red comforters making him look so small and breakable that he could have been a different person.

Clark felt the tightening on his heart again, so strongly that he dropped the Inquisitor and clutched at his chest. He held onto the footboard with his other hand and took some deep breaths. He wasn't sure what to make of the feeling, except that upon seeing Lex in such a vulnerable state, the anger seemed to have drained from him, and this new sensation, while painful, was almost sweet.

He forgot about it completely when Lex took a sudden ragged gasp and started convulsing lightly, unable to breathe. In less than one second, Clark was sitting next to him on the bed and had a gentle hand behind Lex's neck, lifting it slightly so as to clear his airway.

Lex soon took another long breath, followed by a violent choking fit. Clark put his other hand firmly on Lex's chest to stop him from doubling over, and when Lex finally settled, his eyes slowly opened. His left eye was barely more than a dark slit.

"Cla--"

"Lex, what happened to you?" Clark's soothing tone was in absolute contrast to the panic he was feeling.

Before Lex could answer, Clark was removing two of the three pillows stacked under Lex's head, which were obviously the reason his neck had kinked, cutting off his air.

"Who put these here?"

"The servants, Clark. They just wanted me to be comfortable," Lex rasped.

"The servants aren't doctors, Lex! What if I hadn't been here? And why aren't you in the hospital?!"

"Really, it's not as bad as it looks. I just got mugged. I'm okay."

"Since when do you need an IV for getting mugged?"

"I've been having trouble keeping food down. The IV is just giving me some vitamins."

"Trouble keeping..." Clark trailed off. Then, shocking even himself with his own boldness, he began swiftly unbuttoning Lex's pajamas.

"Clark, don't!" But Lex was too weak to stop him and Clark's nostrils flared in horror when he opened the shirt.

Lex's torso was wrapped tightly, and using his X-ray vision, Clark saw that several of his ribs were cracked. But the frightening part was his stomach. There was a square bandage taped to the area below his ribs, and blood had soaked through it in a clearly defined symbol. It was a single eye with a dot above it and a Y coming out of the bottom. The Y's vertical line was crossed with a short horizontal dash, forming a plus sign. Clark slowly pulled off the tape, taking care not to hurt Lex who had stopped resisting, and felt his eyes fill with tears as he saw the symbol had been carved into Lex's skin.

Outside, there was a crack of thunder as the clouds finally gave in and began another downpour. In the instant the lightning flashed, just before Clark had a visible reaction to Lex's pain, Lex saw something glint in Clark's eyes as he looked at the symbol. It was so dark and menacing that he couldn't stand to look. But he couldn't pull his eyes away. The moment lasted less than half of a second, and when Clark's eyes filled with tears and the darkness left, Lex was more than happy to forget it.

"Lex, who did this?" Clark's voice wavered, on the verge of breaking.

"My father," Lex responded quietly as his own eyes began to well up.

A sob escaped Clark's throat, and he put his head on Lex's chest, not knowing what else to do.

The windows rattled with the wind and rain, and Lex shivered at the sudden chill. "Clark... I'm so cold."

"Hold on." Clark saw all the medical supplies on the bedside table. He cut off a clean square of the bandage and taped it in place over the symbol, blushing lightly at the feel of Lex's smooth skin. Removing the atrocious eye from his sight gave Clark immense relief. He then pulled the comforter up to Lex's chin and started to back away. "I'll, uh, let you get some rest."

"Clark, please... please stay. Don't leave me alone." Lex's lower lip quivered.

As if he had been hoping for the invitation all along, Clark nearly ran back to Lex's side. He stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and slipped into the bed next to the older boy, wrapping his arms around Lex's chest softly enough not to hurt him, but firmly enough to make him feel safe.

They both thought of the room in Seattle, how Lex had cried to Clark and Clark had consoled him. Now, their roles were reversed. Clark cried quietly into Lex's neck, and Lex ran his fingers through Clark's hair and gently grazed the back of his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Lex."

"Ssh, Clark. It's okay," Lex whispered. "Everything will be okay."

"I missed you so much."

"I know."

**********

Clark rushed into class the next day and sat next to Lana. She looked up, slightly startled and began giggling. Clark returned the smile sheepishly. "I got a late start," he stated.

"So I see. What happened to you yesterday? I was worried when you never came back."

"I, uh... There was something I had to take care of."

"Must have been pretty important. I stopped by your house to give you your bag last night and you still weren't home. I see you got it, by the way."

Clark held up his backpack. "Yep. Thanks."

Lana chewed her lower lip, deciding whether or not to press further. "Clark... is everything okay? Your parents were really worried last night."

"Everything's fine. I guess I'm still adjusting to all the changes. I just had to blow off some steam, you know?"

"I can definitely relate to that."

They shared another smile, then turned back to their books, not knowing what else to say. Lana was struck with inspiration first.

"So, speaking of blowing off steam, I'm throwing a party at the Talon in a few weeks. Kind of an End of Summer type of thing to kick off our senior year."

"That sounds fun. Who's invited?"

"Well, no one yet. The party isn't officially scheduled until I pass my history test this Friday. _If _I pass, I should say."

"Lana, you'll do fine." Clark touched her hand to emphasize his point.

She looked at his hand nervously, as if trying to say something.

"Lana? What is it?"

"Well... there's going to be games and music at the party. And people will probably bring... dates."

"Oh?" Clark asked, completely innocent.

"Yeah. So, I was wondering... I mean, you know, if the party does end up happening and everything, if you... if you wanted to be my date."

Clark's eyebrows arched. "Date?"

"Yeah. You know, just so we don't have to show up alone. Well, not that I really have to show up, since I'll already be there."

"Lana, I--"

"Unless you don't even want to come. I guess showing up with another person doesn't mean much when you're not even planning on showing up at all."

"Okay, hold on--"

"Oh, God, it's too soon isn't it? I mean, here I am living this normal life, and you're still trying to get back in the swing of things. I'm sorry, Clark. Forget I--"

"Lana, stop! It's not that. I'm just surprised, okay?"

She looked at him hopefully. "So?"

"Um... okay. Why not? Sure, I'll be your date." Clark tried to sound more excited than he felt.

"Great," Lana said with a relieved sigh.

Clark gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and returned to his work. After a few minutes of reading, he spoke again.

"It's a good idea, you know.

"What?"

"The party. I bet the whole senior class will be there."

"I wish I could take full credit. It was actually Lex's idea."

"Oh." Lana turned back to the paper she was working on as Clark stared off into space, unable to focus on anything but the warmth spreading through his chest. This new reaction to the mere mention of Lex's name was more powerful than any of the spite he had felt before. Flashes of lying in Lex's arms, falling in and out of sleep for hours, filled his mind. It had felt so incredibly right and natural that he hated himself for how cruel he had been, for not being there to protect Lex from his father's thugs.

Neither of them had had the energy to discuss the attack, so Clark didn't know anything about Matéo or his own involvement. But when he thought of Lex's bruised face, his heart jumped out of rhythm for a few beats. He had such a sudden, urgent need to hear Lex's calming voice, that he had to stop himself from leaping out of his chair.

He stood up slowly and noticed Lana rising too. "So, see you tomorrow?" He didn't understand what she meant until he looked at the clock and realized he had daydreamed through the rest of the class.

"Uh, yeah. See ya."

Lana left the room smiling, and Clark took his time putting away his books, purposely waiting until he was alone. Then, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Lex's number, surprised that he remembered it after all this time. Lex picked up on the second ring.

"Lex Luthor." He sounded stronger.

"Lex?"

"Clark." Clark winced at the coldness in Lex's voice.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. Is something wrong?"

"It's really none of your concern. Please don't call me again." Click.

Clark stared at his phone in disbelief.

**********

"Long day, sweetie?" Silence. "I hope you thanked Lana."

"Huh?" Clark looked up from his place at the kitchen table where he had miserably landed after school and wondered how long his mother had been talking to him.

"That was very nice of her to return your bag. She didn't have to do that you know."

"I thanked her, Mom."

"Good." Martha took a bag of tomatoes from the fridge and started placing them one by one on the counter next to the cutting board. "How is she doing with the Talon? I try to stop in as often as I can, but I've been so--"

"She asked me out," he muttered absently.

Martha froze mid-slice. "What?"

"Lana asked me out. On a date, I mean."

"Oh, Clark! That's wonderful! I knew it was just a matter of time before things started going your way again. So when is it and what are you going to do?"

Clark fell back into silence, his eyes dark and distant.

"Clark? Honey, what's the matter?"

"Mom, I think there's something wrong with me. Something... alien."

Martha sat down at the table across from him and touched his hand. "What is it?"

"My heart. Sometimes it starts pounding for no reason. Or other times, it just feels tight, like someone is squeezing it."

"Is it painful?"

"Well, that's the thing. It hurts, but it's sort of a good pain."

Martha's eyes lit up in recognition. "Tell me, Clark. Are these... episodes ever accompanied by a fluttery feeling in your stomach?"

"Yes!" Nodding vigorously.

"And does all of this happen when you think of a certain person?"

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Clark, that's not alien at all," Martha said with laughter in her voice. "You're falling in love! I felt the same way about your father when we started dating. Oh, it was breathtaking the way my feelings became so strong that they manifested themselves physically."

Clark's eyes glistened. "But what happens if they don't feel the same way? What if they think of you as nothing more than a nuisance?" 

"Nonsense, Clark. Lana adores you."

"It's not Lana," Clark blurted before he could stop himself.

"Okay, fine," Martha said, rising from the table with a knowing smile. "I'll stop butting in. For now. But you can always talk to me okay? About anything. Now go get washed up for dinner."

Clark considered arguing further, decided against it, and headed for the stairs. He wasn't ready to share his feelings for Lex with anybody. Especially if Lex didn't even feel the same way.

But Lex had been so good to him. How could he just stop caring? And why now of all times, when Clark was finally coming to terms with his own feelings?

__

He's finally wising up, Clark thought. _I'm just a stupid kid. I'm not worth all the trouble I've put him through._

**********

After no more than three bites of his dinner, Clark quietly excused himself from the table. Martha put down her cup.

"Jonathan, I'm worried. He was making progress, I just know it. Even if they were baby steps. But now..."

"Oh, honey, he probably knows we want some time alone." He kissed her on the cheek and she smiled. At least her relationship with Jonathan was getting back on track. The tension between them had started to subside, making the knowledge of dishonesty a little less unbearable for Martha.

"Besides, you should have seen me before our first date. I was a nervous wreck. Maybe he just feels a little silly because Lana asked him and not the other way around."

"Now, Jonathan, it is the 21st century. It's perfectly acceptable for a girl to ask a boy out."

"I know, I know. I suppose I'm just old-fashioned. Speaking of which, hurry up and finish your dinner so I can throw you over my shoulder and carry you to bed."

Martha's jaw dropped in mock embarrassment and she playfully slapped him on the back of the head.

When they finished eating, they rinsed their dishes and started up the stairs. Jonathan was in his boxers and waiting for her in bed before she even had a chance to close the door. She spared a look down the hallway to Clark's room.

"Martha..." Jonathan's tone was reprimanding.

"I just want to check on him. If he's okay, I'll leave him alone."

"Just be careful not to cling too much."

"Oh, stop it. I'll be two seconds. Keep the bed warm for me."

Jonathan winked in response, and Martha crept down the hall to Clark's door. She knocked gently.

"Clark? Sweetie?" No answer.

She opened the door just wide enough to peek inside. Clark lay back against the headboard of his bed, snoring lightly as static from the television sitting across the room on his dresser dimly lit his face.

A small chuckle escaped Martha's lips. Jonathan had told her that getting Clark his own TV/VCR set was over the top, and she knew he was right. She just couldn't help herself. Having her son with her again was a dream come true, and she wanted him to know he was loved. Besides, it obviously wasn't interrupting his sleep schedule like Jonathan predicted it would.

Crossing to the bed, Martha spotted the remote control loosely clutched in Clark's limp hand, and she picked it up. Squinting in the half light, she pointed the remote at the television and pushed what she thought was the Power button. She realized her mistake, however, when she heard the VCR groaning to life.

Just as she was about to try another button, Lex's face appeared on the screen.

"This is your home, Clark," he stated soothingly. "You'll never have to worry again. I'm going to take care of you. I love you."

Martha's brow crinkled in confusion. She looked back to her son, still breathing loudly in his sleep. Understanding slowly smoothed her brow into a rigid line as she watched a single, silent tear trail down Clark's cheek.


	8. Awakened

Title: Awakened

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 8 

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Feedback: Makes hurting my brain worth it.

**********

"What the hell is this?"

Lex looked up from his paper to see Martha Kent standing quite unhappily in his living room with a basket full of fruits and vegetables.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's my produce."

Martha rolled her eyes and impatiently plopped the basket down on the coffee table. Once there, she picked up the videotape that was sitting at the top and wiggled it in his face. "_This_, Lex."

"Thank you, Martha, I'm feeling much better. No, they haven't found the muggers yet, but it's sweet of you to ask."

She pursed her lips. "Lex, when I came to see you the servants said you were sleeping. And you wouldn't be sitting here if you weren't feeling better, now stop dodging the subject. I want to know what my son is doing with this videotape."

"Maybe you need to ask your son."

"Maybe you need to tell me why you filmed yourself telling my son that you love him!"

Lex's stomach twisted rather unpleasantly against his sore ribs. "Say that again?"

"You heard me, Lex."

He took a deep breath, processing this discovery. _Clark kept the tape._ Something resembling ecstasy flowered through his chest at the thought of Clark watching it, needing to hear its contents. But something resembling fear for his life grabbed his stomach, reminding him that somehow the tape had crossed Martha's path and the cat was out of the bag.

"Martha, I can explain..."

"I certainly hope so. Because if you think you can just toy with my son--"

"I wasn't toying! I-I mean..."

"Lex, he is a 17-year-old boy. He knows nothing of the world, of relationships--"

"I'm well aware of how old he is, Martha. If you would just--"

"And then you waltz in and drop these new ideas on his head, warping his sensitivities and--"

"Okay, warping is kind of a harsh word--"

"...using words like love and forever, making Clark think you want him--

"It was never like that! I--"

"...and then breaking his heart like it was a cheap wine glass!"

"I DIDN'T MEAN T-- wait, what?"

"That's right. I don't know what you said to him, but his heart is broken. I've never seen him so despondent, like he's just lost his... well, his best friend. What I can't understand is how you can do something as sweet as a video love letter, and then drop him the next minute like he doesn't even matter to you."

"A video what?" Lex stammered. "Martha, I think we've crossed lines here."

"He _loves _you, Lex."

Lex fluttered his eyelids trying to believe what he was hearing. "And... you're okay with this?"

"Well, I thought I was. Until I found out that Lex Luthor is nothing more than a player."

"Martha, you'll have to forgive me, but I'm still lost."

She put the tape down on the table next to the basket and sat next to Lex on the couch. "Lex, listen to me. I've known for a long time that things between you and Clark were a little more... involved than either of you let on."

"But I--"

"Okay, maybe you didn't even admit it to yourselves, but I could see it. Even before he went away, there was always a spark between you, a current running below the surface."

"So you just threw up your Pride flag and started marching?" Lex asked disbelievingly.

"Well, no. I can't say I wasn't uncomfortable with it at first. I didn't know much about you for one thing. As for Clark, I quietly hoped that it was just a little boy crush on someone older and wiser that he looked up to."

"And now?"

"Now, I know you. I know that you're a good person who puts those he cares about before himself. And after all that Clark has been through, I consider it a blessing that he is able to love in any capacity, and he couldn't have chosen anyone better than you."

Lex smiled at this. Martha reached up to gently touch his face, then quickly pulled her hand away, obviously remembering why she came over in the first place.

"That is until you decided to stop loving him." 

"I will never stop loving Clark!" Lex bit his tongue, feeling his face start to burn.

"Then what happened? Lex, tell me! I know he was here that night two weeks ago when he didn't come home from school. He was practically floating the next time I saw him. But when he got home from school the next day, he was holding back tears and he has been ever since. Lana's name was mentioned, but I know it wasn't really about her. I know he would rather have you."

"It just won't work, Martha. There are so many factors you don't know about."

"It doesn't matter, Lex. Don't you see that? That's what makes love so wonderful. It can transcend any obstacle that the world throws at it."

"It's not that easy--"

"Lex. Do you love my son?"

Lex closed his mouth. Finally, he looked at the floor and nodded, unable to lie about the only truth he'd ever known.

"Then go to him. Love him. Let him love you." She kept her eyes locked on him for a moment longer to let the meaning of her words sink in, and then she got up to go.

Lex looked at the tape she left on the coffee table and winced. He knew what he had to do.

**********

Two weeks. 

Clark sat in the Talon working on his third cup of coffee, staring absently out the window cheerily decorated for the 4th of July, with only two words spinning through his head. _Two weeks_.

It had been two weeks since he last talked to Lex, since Lex had told him to never call again. He cried himself to sleep that night, thinking that the pain couldn't possibly be more unbearable. But in the following days, he had been overtaken by the same numbness and detachment that he thought he was finally escaping, which, he soon discovered, was much worse.

He didn't have Lex to turn to, and he didn't feel comfortable discussing much of anything with his parents anymore, so he turned to Lana. He had no intention of playing on her feelings for him, but he needed to feel cared about, to stay in touch with his emotions despite the pain of Lex's rejection. To outrun the chilling emptiness that blurred the edges of his consciousness.

Lana approached the table with a fourth cup.

"Not that I expect anything more than the usual monosyllable answer, but are you sure you're okay?"

Another perk to Lana's company. She could be concerned without being pushy.

"Yup."

She sighed. "Okay. But you know I'm here when you're ready to talk."

"I know." He smiled at her genuinely and she squeezed his shoulder before going to check on her other tables.

It was in those moments he felt Lex's presence. The moments of feeling important, like someone was willing to devote their life to him and him alone, that he thought back to the heavenly hours he had spent in Lex's arms. The moments that Lex made everything perfect.

He nearly choked on his coffee when he saw a flash of white scalp outside the window, thinking that his flashbacks were finally turning into hallucinations and that he was at risk of being locked up for the second time in his short life. He soon realized that he wasn't hallucinating at all, and that Lex was actually entering the Talon, face still slightly bruised, and managing to look just as stately as ever leaning gracefully on a black cane.

Their eyes met and it was like fire. All the emotions Clark feared were leaving him came flaming back through his stomach, his heart, and his face, leaving him unable to move. He knew Lex was feeling the same thing by the sudden quiver of his cane, but Lex's movement clearly remained intact as he abruptly turned around and left. Before the door closed behind him, he lost his balance on the cane and started to topple. As always, Clark was there to break his fall.

No one inside the Talon even noticed Clark go, and he wouldn't have cared anyway. The only person he wanted to notice him was in his arms, inches from the ground, and looking up at him with those enchanted grey eyes. On a sudden impulse, Clark leaned down to kiss him. The instant their noses brushed, however, Lex turned his face to the side, leaving nothing but ear for Clark's lips. Clark sighed, discouraged, having no idea that his breath on Lex's ear sent chills up the older boy's spine.

"Help me up, Clark."

Even with such a cold tone, the sound of his name on Lex's lips made Clark want to sing. Instead, he did as he was told and soon he and Lex were standing face to face, close enough that Clark was tempted to try the kiss again, but resisted.

"Why, Lex? Why don't you want me?" He knew it sounded lame, but the heartache had returned with renewed vigor and he couldn't help himself.

"It's complicated. You're too young and... and it's complicated, okay?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"This." Lex held up the issue of the Inquisitor Clark had dropped in the mansion. "I got my guy at the Inquisitor to pull all the unsold issues, but who's to say another paper won't do the same thing? Your involvement with me will only make things worse."

"Worse for you, you mean," Clark spat, suddenly angry. "Everything was fine when I was a secret, but now that I'm back in the public eye, you don't want to risk it."

"Clark, there are more risks than just this. For both of us."

"It's all business with you, isn't it? Who cares how perfect things could be between us, or how wonderful you make me feel? Just as long as you look good to the press and you aren't written out of the inheritance."

"I'm thinking of you, Clark! A relationship between us would never work!"

"You didn't even give it a chance! You stuck with me even when I was being an asshole to you, and then when I started coming around, you dropped me."

"You weren't being an asshole, Clark, you had every right to hate me. I violated you. I... I raped you."

"No!"

"Yes, Clark. You never would have given into me in Seattle if you hadn't been under the influence of the meteor rock. You were right when you said I brainwashed you."

"No, I wasn't, Lex! I was angry and scared and I was lashing out. But I've had a lot of time to think since then and I finally understand my feelings. You didn't plant the idea of loving you into my head. You awakened it."

"What?"

"I had feelings for you long before any of this started. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. You made me realize it was more than that, and that it was okay."

Lex stood still, knowing he should argue further, but not being able to do it. Clark reached out tentatively to touch his face, and Lex let himself be soothed. Never before had he been so vulnerable to another person, so unable to control his feelings as he was with Clark. But he knew that a relationship between them would be harder on Clark than anybody else, and he had to at least try to spare him that.

"Clark, stop," he whispered through half-formed tears. 

"Lex, do you love me?"

Again with that damned question. What was it with the Kents and knowing exactly which buttons to press?

Lex bowed his head, letting the tears stream down. Clark embraced him possessively and breathed into his ear again.

"I love you, too," he whispered.

Without another word, Clark lifted Lex into his arms and carried him back to the car. Lex felt a distant feeling of déjà vu as Clark lovingly situated his legs in the passenger seat, then ran around to the driver's side and started the car.

**********

__

It's never been this beautiful, Lex thought drowsily.

He sat between Clark's legs on the couch in his bedroom, looking through the large window next to the balcony doors as the sun set outside the mansion. It was a hypnotic swirl of gold and pink and Lex shivered at the combined sensations of Clark breathing in his ear and strong hands rubbing over his stomach.

__

How a thing as ancient as the sun can seem new in the arms of love...

Clark's hands stilled and his breathing became uneven.

"Clark?"

"What does it mean, Lex?" he asked timidly.

"What does what mean?"

Clark lifted the front of Lex's shirt and rested his hand on the bandage covering the frightening symbol.

Lex's protective instincts kicked in, and he nearly changed the subject, not wanting to upset his young friend. But Clark was so warm against him, so true, the need to confide overrode everything else.

"My father calls it the Eye of Exile. I'm not really sure where it came from. I looked for it in history books and on the internet, but I never saw anything like it. I guess he designed it himself."

Lex took a shaky breath and Clark kissed the back of his head comfortingly, giving him courage to continue.

"Lionel always prided himself on how he never let his heart rule his head. He believes that the key to power is being in complete control of your emotions at all times, never letting your enemies see you vulnerable. He used to say 'The eye of desperation sees what it wants to see. The eye of exile sees the truth.' That's how he knows so much. That's why nobody can ever do anything without his knowledge of it. Because he never lets his feelings cloud his judgment. It's almost as if he was born heartless."

Clark shivered behind him, closing his grip around Lex until it was almost painful.

"Clark? Clark, what's the matter?"

"I'm okay," Clark said with a deep breath. "Go on."

"The, uh... The symbol became an obsession to him, like some kind of deranged religion. He decided to make it his trademark. Whenever one of his enemies - or even someone close to him - tried to do something behind his back..." He swallowed back his tears before going on. "...he sent his men after them. To carve the Eye into their skin so they knew--"

"The Eye of Exile sees all," Clark finished for him. Lex nodded as Clark leaned forward to rest his chin on Lex's shoulder. "What did you do, Lex? What made Lionel so angry?"

Lex took an anxious breath to respond, and Clark closed his eyes tightly, wondering if he really wanted to know.

"I... I can't talk about it. Please, Clark, just hold me. Let's just enjoy what's left of the sunset."

Strangely relieved, Clark squeezed his love and kissed his ear. They watched the sun finish its downward path and Clark smiled at the tightening in his heart as Lex drifted to sleep against him. "I love you," he whispered as he too fell asleep.

A short while later, they both awoke to the sounds of distant cracking and colorful light. Wordlessly, they rose from the couch and walked toward the balcony doors, Clark never once letting go of Lex's midsection. 

They stepped out onto the balcony and Lex rested his head back on Clark's shoulder, smiling. Fireworks were exploding in the sky above a nearby park and a band playing the Star-Spangled Banner could be faintly heard.

Clark smiled too as he bent down slightly to rest his cheek against Lex's. They were thinking the same thing and they knew it. Although the fireworks were for Independence Day, they couldn't help but take it as a sign. A sign that the universe had witnessed these two lost boys finally come together in love, and saw that it was good.

Lex turned around and wrapped his arms around Clark's neck, spellbound by the brilliant reflections in those haunting eyes. "Clark."

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

Clark smiled brightly, squinting against the glare of his happiness. He inched toward Lex slowly, giving the older boy plenty of time to turn away if he wanted to. But he didn't. Their lips met like a pair of disembodied feathers meeting in a windy sky, one from a crow, one from a dove. So different in every aspect, but beautiful in their own ways. Perfect contrast, a truly magnificent union.

The kiss deepened and Clark finally backed away, breathless. "I need you, Lex."

"I need you, too." Lex pushed forward to kiss him again but Clark held him back.

"No. I mean I need you. Like we were before." Lex studied his face and Clark smiled again, drunk with desire. "Sometimes, when I think about it long enough, I can remember what it felt like... I can still feel you in me. Let me feel it again."

Lex thought he would go mad. But he managed to take Clark by the hand and lead him back into the bedroom where they reconnected at last, gently, yet urgently, the fireworks illuminating the room all the while.

Outside, a figure stood behind a gathering of trees, and saw it all. Saw the young couple come outside to see the spectacle. Saw the love between them, the passion in their kiss. Saw the desperation of their retreat into the bedroom.

"Lex," Clark panted, "it's like fire."

The figure pulled a key from a pants pocket...

"For you, Clark," Lex replied, "only for you."

Slipped the key soundlessly into the front door of the mansion...

"Fire," the boys said together as the heat of their passion drove away the darkness and their exile finally ended.

Entered... 


	9. Inborn

Author: Mitch

Title: Inborn

Series: Part 9

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Feedback: Thanks to all who have reviewed for all of your kind words! It encourages me more than I can tell you.

**********

Martha heard the tractor shut off outside as she prepared breakfast in the kitchen. Jonathan always liked to get in a few hours of work before he ate on Saturday mornings and Martha was never one for sleeping in, so she didn't mind.

But this particular Saturday morning, she was having a hard time staying focused on breakfast. For once, though, her distraction was a positive one. The night before had been the most romantic 4th of July that she could remember.

Jonathan had taken her to the park to watch the fireworks, but they got there before the sun had even set.

"What are we doing here now?" she had asked. "We're going to be waiting for at least an hour."

"Close your eyes," Jonathan replied.

She did as she was told, and when he told her to open them again, there was a picnic set up in front of her. After the initial surprise, she had to laugh.

"Hotdogs and champagne, Jonathan?"

"But of course. Unless your not adventurous enough."

After which, Martha seated herself and began to eat. The rest of the meal might as well have been a summary of their life together. It was all so happy and uncomplicated. She remembered a time when she was younger and living in Metropolis. The glamour of the high life used to call to her, and it nearly pulled her in. But Jonathan walked into her life, or rather, she walked into his, and everything changed.

The men of Metropolis were polished and smooth. They knew all the rules of etiquette, fashion, and chivalry. They attended the right schools, drove the right cars, and dropped the right names. While all of these qualities were very appealing, Martha found one quality in Jonathan in the first conversation she ever had with him that she hadn't found in Metropolis her whole life.

Kindness. 

Not the empty civility pounded into one's head through years of mental conditioning and private schools, but pure, inborn kindness. She knew then, as she knew now that she would love Jonathan forever.

Once they finished their dessert of brownies, frosted in red, white, and blue, the sun had gone down and the fireworks were about to begin. Martha was a little disappointed that they would have to give up their privacy, but still very happy just to be with her husband.

But when the last light of dusk slipped away, it was like they were the only two people on earth. The fireworks started, showering their colors all around, seeming to illustrate the feelings in Martha's heart at that very moment. She felt a slight twinge of worry, though, as she thought about her talk with Lex, and she said a silent prayer that he and Clark would be able to find the kind of happiness together that they deserved.

"Is something burning?"

Martha started at the sound of Jonathan's voice.

"Damn!" She pulled the blackened pancake off the frying pan and tossed it into the garbage.

Jonathan chuckled softly and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms softly around her stomach. "It's okay. It looks like you've made quite a stack already."

He started to nuzzle her ear and she inhaled sharply at the warm breath on her neck.

"Well, I know how hungry Clark gets when he's been working," she whispered.

Jonathan stopped his actions abruptly. "Actually, he hasn't been working. He must have slept right through his alarm."

Martha turned around to face him. "No... I went to check on him earlier and he wasn't in his room. I thought he was with you."

"Well, if he's not with either one of us, where is he?"

She thought for a moment and something came to her. "He must have stayed over at Lex's house."

"Luthor? The two of them haven't spoken for weeks. I thought Clark had finally come to his senses," Jonathan said as he started shoveling pancakes onto a plate.

"Come to his senses? Jonathan, in case you've forgotten, 'Luthor' is the reason you and Clark aren't in prison." Jonathan sighed, giving in. "Besides, Clark has been drawing into himself more and more lately. I think Lex may be able to help him."

"Help him how?" he asked skeptically. 

Martha nearly blurted out everything, forgetting for a moment that Jonathan didn't know, then stopped herself. "Uh, Lex has always been so good to him. He knows what it's like to be alone, he understands Clark's feelings."

"Clark is not alone. He has us."

"We're not enough, Jonathan. Don't you see that? There comes a time in a teenage boy's life when he needs to reach out and discover new things. We can't be his everything anymore, he has to be free to find himself."

"And you think he's going to find it with Lex Luthor."

"Part of it, yes."

Jonathan gave his wife a doubtful look, and she let out an exasperated sigh as she turned around and made for the stairs. He put his plate down and caught her by the arm, pulling her back into his embrace.

"Honey, I'm trying," he said calmingly. "It's just that the Luthors change everyone they come in contact with. I don't think this family will ever be the same after all we've been through, especially Clark."

"That's not the Luthors, Jonathan. That's life. Things happen, people change." She backed away from him so that she could see his face. "Happiness goes away, but it's never gone for good. Yes, we've been through a lot, but why does the final result have to be negative? What's wrong with defending the ones you love? What's wrong with doing whatever you have to do to maintain everything you've worked so hard for? So we're not the picture perfect family we once were. We're still together. We still love each other. Isn't that worth all the secrets and lies and--"

"Wait a minute, what do you mean secrets and lies? We're not talking about Lex Luthor anymore, are we?"

Martha felt her face getting hot. "I-I just mean Clark's gifts. We've had to hide them from everyone and--"

"So what, you think Lex can help him with that too? Sure, why don't we go tell the son of a snake disguised as a billionaire that our son is an alien with super powers? Let's see how he deals with that one."

The look on Martha's face quickly melted the conviction of Jonathan's statement.

"Oh, Martha, no."

"He had to know, Jonathan. He was hiding Clark from the law, I couldn't keep something that vital from him."

"And soon we'll be hiding Clark from *him*. Lex will have him dissected into labeled jars before we can--"

"Don't you think that if Lex were going to do something like that, he would have done it by now? He has known the truth since the beginning. He would never do anything to hurt Clark. Lex needs him."

Jonathan made a face at that, clearly uncomfortable with the sound of it. After a short pause, he turned around and headed for the door. "I'm not hungry anymore," he mumbled as the screen slammed shut behind him.

Martha stood in the kitchen, speechless. It wasn't until she heard the tractor start up again, that she collapsed into a chair, resting her head on the table.

__

So many lies.

She had thought she could handle it. But she was starting to forget who knew what, and she was slipping up more and more all the time.

She made a promise to herself that she would never let it happen again. The happiness she and Jonathan had shared the night before really would go away forever if he knew everything that she knew. 

No. She had to hold it together.

**********

Clark awoke with a familiar ache in his stomach. Warm arms were draped around him and hot breath tickled his neck. The same warm arms and hot breath he felt every morning when his dreams carried over to reality for just a few seconds. But the ache in his stomach, the sadness, always woke him up, reminding him that Lex wasn't really there. Really his.

But this particular morning, as he shed the last lovely layers of sleep, he realized that the arms and breath were still there. He slowly turned his head to see Lex lying next to him, his mouth slightly opened and curved in an involuntary grin.

Clark broke out into a smile of his own as he remembered the night before. He almost woke Lex up just to exclaim how happy he was that all of this was real, but he stopped himself. There was something so pure about Lex in this state, so untouched. 

He gently laid his head down on the pillow right next to Lex's face so he could feel the breath in his ear. It seemed like such a silly thing to do, but he did it anyway. He fought shivering at the sensation and took a deep breath with the pleasure of it.

__

For you, Lex had said. _Only for you._

Everything Lex had, everything he did, was all for Clark. His love was for Clark, his heart, his home, the breath in his lungs, the very breath that Clark was enjoying so much, was for him alone and he suddenly felt less silly for taking advantage of it.

Again, he thought of waking Lex. His feelings were very close to spilling over and he felt like he had to express it somehow. But another thought came to him, something much sweeter. 

Planting a soft kiss on his lover's forehead, he silently got up from the bed and pulled on a pair of Lex's sweat pants. They were too short, but he didn't mind. 

After one last smile at his sleeping angel, he walked into the hallway in the direction of the stairs with one purpose in mind. Breakfast. He was sure Lex lived off of catered food, and he wanted to make something special for him. Growing up on a farm had taught him more than just baling hay, after all.

As he got to the bottom of the stairs and headed in the direction of the kitchen, he jumped as he heard a pot clinking inside. He nearly dismissed it as a servant, but remembered Lex calling the servants the night before and telling them he needed some privacy for the next day or so. But who could it be?

An image of the night before flashed into Clark's mind. He recalled standing out on the balcony with Lex, the desperation so great that it affected him even now, but that wasn't what his brain was trying to tell him. He thought harder and was surprised at a small pang in his head. He almost felt like the night of passionate love-making had left him hung over. _Not a bad analogy,_ he thought.

But something had been wrong with that moment on the balcony. Not Lex or what they were doing. Something else… a feeling. It was so vague that he knew only he would have been able to pick up on it with his alien intuition. It wasn't super sight or hearing, because he knew he hadn't seen or heard anything. It was just something he _knew._

What the hell is it?!

Another small clatter resounded from the kitchen and it came back to him in an instant. Somebody was watching them! He didn't know how he knew or who it was, but the idea was so strong in his mind that he knew it was right. Someone had been outside, below the balcony, watching Clark and Lex together. The feeling had been with him the whole time, but he was too emotional to notice. 

But now that it was coming back to him, he realized the feeling had never really left. The foreboding had stayed, distantly tugging at his mind all night. Not surprising since whoever it was had obviously entered the house, and was now up to God knew what in the kitchen. 

His possessive instincts immediately took over. He wasn't the least bit afraid for himself. But the thought that someone had broken into Lex's home, probably intending to put him in some kind of danger, infuriated him. Without another thought, he stormed into the kitchen, ready to put his fist through anyone who would dare to hurt his Lex.

But he stopped right inside the door. Across the room, standing in front of a large metallic stove, was a woman flipping bacon in a frying pan.

"Can I help you?" Clark asked firmly.

Her shoulders raised slightly as if startled and she turned around. Her face lit up when she saw Clark.

"Oh, sweetie," she said as she crossed the room and took Clark into a hug. He hugged back loosely, not sure what else to do, and finally pulled away.

"Who are you?"

She crinkled her eyebrows in confusion. "Clark, don't you remember me?"

He studied her a little longer, knowing that something about her was very familiar, but not sure what.

"Seattle, Clark."

His eyes widened and he gasped as the pieces came together. "Kate?!"

"Yes!"

Clark let out a shocked laugh and hugged her again, this time picking her up off of her feet and holding her tightly against him. She laughed too as she rubbed circles over his back, her maternal feelings towards Clark obvious.

He finally put her down and held her affectionately by the shoulders. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell Lex you were coming?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise. I figured you two would want to be left alone, so I let myself in instead of disturbing you. You... did want to be alone didn't you?"

Clark looked at the floor, embarrassed. "Well... yeah."

"I thought so. It warms my heart to see you together, to see how much you love each other, how good you are to each other."

"Well, I wasn't always good to him," Clark said sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"Kate, I've been so horrible. After everything that happened, after... Phelan, I didn't know what to do. Losing such a large chunk of my life filled me with so much anger, and I blamed it all on Lex. I have been treating him like shit for the last month. I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to swear."

"It's nothing I haven't heard before, Clark," Kate said with a smile. "So does that mean last night was..."

"Yeah. I guess you could call it a reunion. But wait a minute, what am I thinking? I'm sure you want to talk to Lex yourself. I'll go get him--"

"Clark, wait." She placed a hand on his arm. "I actually came here to talk to you."

He raised his eyebrows questioningly. "What about?"

"I... Clark, I think you better sit down."

Clark took her by the hand and led her into the dining room where they seated themselves at the table. "Kate, is something wrong?"

She looked at the floor as if trying to find a gentle way to put it. Finding nothing, she decided to just blurt it out. "I know, Clark. I know that you're not from... around here."

"How? Did Lex--"

"No, no. Lex didn't say anything and I never asked. My job was just to take care of you. It's really none of my business, and if you don't want to talk about it, I'll understand. But something happened and I think you have a right to know about it. Or to remember it, I should say."

"Okay, now I'm really confused."

Kate squeezed his hand on the table and then went back into the kitchen. She returned with her purse which she set on the table as she sat back down. Out of the purse she pulled a mini tape recorder with a cassette inside.

"What's that?" Clark asked nervously.

She pushed the play button and Clark heard what sounded like chaotic banging, objects being thrown around a room, glass breaking. But as he listened more closely, he heard a voice. A screaming male voice, furious and animal.

"Kate, who is that?" 

Kate turned up the volume in response and Clark realized that the man wasn't just screaming incoherently. He was speaking what sounded like actual words, though not in English.

"Stokt hith fotr!!! Tetch Paik! Tetch Paik vekpr aukol!" 

Impulsively, Clark grabbed the player from Kate and held it to his ear as beads of sweat broke out across his forehead.

"Tetch Paik krost aukol! Jrumst nkolut cautist!" 

He looked at Kate again, his eyes filling with tears. "Who is that?!" he screamed, fearing he already knew the answer.

"It's you, Clark," she said quietly, her voice almost drowned in the racket on the tape.

"No. No it's--"

"Tetch _PAIK!!!_"

"No!!!" Clark smashed the recorder in his hand and the tape spilled out onto the floor. The sudden silence left a ringing in his ears, jarring him. He took a few moments to catch his breath and sat down again. "Where did you get that tape?"

"I made it when we were in Seattle."

"You couldn't have. The rock... I mean, I was so weak the whole time I was there. That couldn't have been me."

"You weren't in the house the whole time, Clark."

Clark thought back to the day he discovered the meteor rock under the bed. He had been so blissfully ignorant in the moments just before, and within the next hour, had been bombarded by hideous, violent memories of what had happened, along with a few parts of the story he hadn't even known. Or wanted to.

Now, he wiped the sweat off his brow and felt his breathing accelerate at the thought of that happening again. Was it possible that something had happened in Seattle that he was unaware of? He didn't think of that time often, and when he did, he didn't remember time in terms of a line like it usually seems to be. Everything was just... still. Like the past, present, and future of his experience in Seattle had all happened at once. Not unlike a dream, how everything seems to occur in one moment, and only later does one put the events in some kind of logical order.

And yet... something in the tape wouldn't leave him alone. Something in the sound of his own enraged voice, in the power of those words, was absolutely _pulling _at him.

"Tell me, Kate," he whispered. "I have to know."

She took his hands in hers and began. "You got away. I'm not sure how you found the strength, but you did. I came to check on you one night and you were just gone. I was so panicked I didn't know what to do, so I called Lex. But he was in the middle of something with his father and I couldn't get through to him. So I went out to look for you."

"How did you know where to look?"

"I didn't. I was just desperately wandering at first. But eventually, I ended up at a used bookstore surrounded by cop cars so I went to see what was going on. The windows were all smashed in and the manager on duty was raving to the officers about some man dressed in his pajamas screaming in another language and destroying his store."

Clark's eyebrows bunched together as he tried to remember. Kate continued.

"After that I just kind of followed the path of destruction until I found you."

"Where?"

"The Space Needle."

If Clark hadn't been so overwhelmed, he would have laughed out loud at the drama of it all.

"The gift shop at the bottom floor looked like a hurricane had gone through it, and since you weren't there, I figured you must be at the top. I took the elevator up and when I got there, everybody in the restaurant was pressed up against the windows, like they were trying to see something. So I found my way to the observation deck and you were there, standing on the railing, screaming."

"In that... language?" Clark swallowed.

"Yes. To this day, I'm not sure how I got you down. But eventually we got back to the house and that's when you started throwing things around. I made the tape because I knew Lex would want to know about it."

"But he doesn't know. He would have told me."

"No, he doesn't. It was months before he was able to get in touch and see how you were doing, and by then you had been calm for so long, I just didn't mention it."

Clark braced himself, ready for the memory to come flooding back at any moment, for the mind-numbing pulses to shoot through his head, shedding their vicious light. But they didn't. The only thing that came to him was a sense of increasing panic.

"I... I didn't hurt anyone, did I?"

"No, I don't think so."

He propped his head up with his hands and took a deep breath. "What does it mean?" he whispered. "What's happening to me?"

He started wishing he had awakened Lex earlier. Lex, his love, was upstairs asleep and Clark needed him here. This new revelation was frightening and upsetting and he craved the comfort and the feeling of safety only Lex could offer. 

The sound of his own voice on that tape continued to ring in his ears. It could easily have been another person. The language brought a different tone to his voice, cold and menacing. It was filled with an anger more fierce than anything he ever remembered feeling, even for Phelan. And worst of all, the voice on the tape wasn't just angry. It was soulless. He didn't know how such a quality could be audibly palpable, but it was. The anger wasn't just blind rage. It was calculated and vengeful and utterly terrifying.

"There's one more thing, Clark. Something I have to ask you."

Clark looked at Kate.

"Back at the house, just as I was coming back into the room with the tape recorder, you had found a kitchen knife. You were carving something into the wall, and I wanted to know if you can remember why... if you can remember what it means to you."

"What did I carve?"

Without a word, Kate rose to her feet. Her white blouse was tucked into her pants and she slowly started to take it out. Clark stood up as well, unsure of what she intended to do. She turned around so her back was to him, and lifted her shirt.

In the small of her back, right between her hips and above her tailbone, was a large pink scar in the shape of an eye. The Eye of Exile, the same unholy symbol on Lex's stomach, glared up at Clark and he felt the ground rising toward him as his vision went black.

**********

Darkness and warmth and strong arms, and Clark slowly opened his eyes to find his Lex looking down at him. _It was just a dream,_ he thought.

But he soon realized that it wasn't as he felt the cold floor of the dining room beneath him and saw Kate's face next to Lex's so full of concern. 

Lex held Clark's chin gently, wordlessly asking if he was ready to stand up. Clark nodded and Lex slowly helped him to his feet. The three of them moved back to the table, and just as Clark was about to sit, the symbol flashed back into his mind.

"Lex, no!" Clark threw his arms around his lover as the fear rose up in his heart again, threatening to knock him unconscious a second time.

"Ssh, Clark. It's okay," Lex soothed as he rubbed Clark's back.

"No, it's not," Clark sobbed as the helplessness of seeing Lex broken and bruised came back to him. "Your dad... Kate..."

Lex's voice remained soft. "I know, baby, I know. We need to talk, okay? Can you take a deep breath for me?"

Clark did as he was told, and as his lungs filled with air, he felt the constriction of cloth around his stomach. He looked down and saw that he was wearing a T-shirt of Lex's. Lex must have slipped it on him before he regained consciousness. 

This warmed Clark's heart to no end. He knew that the gesture didn't come from any selfish claim that Lex had on Clark's body, and the need to cover it from prying eyes. It came from Lex's need to make Clark feel comfortable and loved. And dignified. 

He threw himself into Lex's arms again, abruptly enough to make him gasp, and Kate stifled a laugh. Then, blushing at the scene he was making, Clark lowered himself to a chair. He pulled out the chair next to him for Lex, never once letting go of Lex's hand.

After a few moments of silence, the seriousness of the situation returned and Clark spoke up. "Lex, talk to me. You've seen the mark on Kate's back, haven't you?" It wasn't a question.

Lex nodded.

"I think it's time you told me what you did to make your father so mad at you," Clark stated. "And then tell me what Kate did, because I have this nagging feeling that they're related."

Lex gestured as if to protest, but Clark stopped him before he got the chance.

"Please, Lex. It's not just about you anymore." He slipped his hand up the front of Lex's T-shirt and lightly touched the bandages that still covered his stomach. "This... thing has something to do with me, and I have to know everything if I'm ever going to figure it out."

Lex put his hand on top of Clark's, and began to talk as Kate sat down across the table from them. "I'm guessing you haven't heard of Matéo Hernandez." 

At the mention of the name, Kate pinched the bridge of her nose. Clark merely shook his head.

"Doesn't surprise me," Lex continued. "He's a big shot in the underworld of Metropolis and my father's right hand man."

He told Clark the story of Miriam, how she was an undercover detective dating both Lionel and Matéo, and how Lex had ultimately exposed her.

"So Matéo was in your debt," Clark said, catching on.

"Exactly. But I never thought I would take him up on it. It's not that he would tell my father about it. To Matéo, a debt is a debt, and he would have done anything for me in return without telling a soul. But still, my father has ways of finding things out, and as you can see, he isn't too happy about other people taking advantage of his operatives without his knowledge of it."

"So why did you do it, Lex? What could have possibly been that import-- Oh, no..."

Lex nodded. "Getting your father off his charges wasn't so hard. Phelan had framed him, and the evidence he staged was far from conclusive. Your case was a little more difficult."

"Because I actually committed murder," Clark said, resting his arms on the table.

"No, Clark, because you protected your family and did the rest of the world a favor by dropping that son of a bitch." Lex took a deep breath to curve the anger. "The point is, I couldn't get you acquitted without going through a few shady channels, and Matéo was the only one I could think of who had that kind of power."

"So you risked your life?" Clark asked, standing up. "You called in a favor, knowing that as a result you would be beaten and carved, just because I'm a spoiled brat who couldn't wait a couple more days to come home?! Why, Lex? Why do you put yourself through all this?"

"Because I love you!" Lex rose to meet him.

Clark inhaled as the tears started to fill his eyes. "You should have moved on a long time ago. Everything that I love turns to shit. Just ask my parents."

"Clark, don't do this," Lex said as he held Clark's face in his hands. "Your love is true and pure and I would spend three eternities in Hell if it meant your happiness."

The tears started to fall and Lex caught them, wiping them away. Kate put her hand over her chest, but said nothing as Lex guided Clark back to his seat. She pulled some tissue from her purse and handed it to Clark, who simply stared at it as if not knowing what it was for. Lex took it from Clark's hands and tenderly wiped his eyes for him.

When Clark felt like he had calmed down enough to keep going, he turned to Kate. "What about you? How did you cross Lionel?"

Kate turned her eyes to Lex, then back to Clark. "I was... Miriam."

Clark's eyes widened and he turned to Lex for confirmation. Lex simply nodded his head.

"But I thought Miriam..." He trailed off.

"Was killed?" Kate finished. "That would make sense. It's a miracle that I'm still alive."

Clark waited for her to continue and she looked at Lex imploringly. "It's okay," he said. "I want Clark to know."

"I was a friend of Lex's mother's," Kate said. "There's nothing she wouldn't have done for me and she proved that on more than one occasion. So my involvement with Lionel was a favor to her. I was granting her last wish."

Clark took Lex's hand, the fear in his eyes instantly replaced by empathy, and Lex fought the urge to kiss him.

"Lionel never approved of Lillian's influence on Lex, he thought she would make him too soft and emotional. When she died, she left Lex several estates around the country that Lionel never knew about. Decorating was one of her outlets. When things with Lionel got too intense for her, she would fly off to visit one of her houses, and continue her work on them. That's why they were such a precious gift to Lex. Each one is like..."

"Like a small piece of Mom," Lex finished quietly. Clark squeezed his hand as Kate continued.

"But she knew that if Lionel ever found out about them, he would do everything he could to destroy them, and she made me promise I would never let that happen."

"Didn't she have a lawyer?" Clark asked. "Lionel can't touch them if they legally belong to someone else."

"That's what I said," Kate replied. "That's when Lillian told me about Matéo. She didn't know much about him, only that he worked very closely with Lionel, and if anyone had the power to do it, it would be him. So once I got involved, sure enough, they were already in the process of taking legal ownership of each estate, one by one."

Clark turned to Lex. "And you had no idea?"

"Not a clue," Lex said.

"But if you told Matéo Kate was dating your father too, how did she get away?"

"I recognized Lex," Kate said, "from his father's parties. I knew I was in trouble the second we were introduced. Going to get drinks was just an excuse to get out of the club and run like hell. The next day, I called Lex to tell him who I was and what his father was trying to do. He believed me once he saw the legal papers and then he helped me by faking up a police identity to make Matéo and Lionel think I was a detective."

"Is that when you started working for Lex?"

"Not quite. The day I was supposed to leave town to start working on getting all of the properties back... Lionel tracked me down at a motel in Metropolis."

"You mean his men," Clark whispered, frightened.

"Actually, it was Lionel. He said I was just as conniving as Lillian and that he wanted to do the honors himself."

Clark grimaced at the image.

"After that, he ordered Matéo to take care of her," Lex said. "He didn't want the actual killing on his hands. That's when I planted the police identity on the internet where I knew Matéo could find it, and when he called me, I told him that I had taken care of her myself."

"And he believed you?" Clark asked.

"Apparently. I haven't heard a word about it since."

"Well... you have all the properties back don't you? I mean, Lionel can't just take..."

"It's okay, Clark. Everything was resolved a long time ago. The house in Seattle was the last one I had to get back and now it's mine again."

Clark sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Okay, then. That clears up some of it. But how do you explain my carving that symbol into the wall? Or that language I was speaking?"

"I can't. I guess we'll just figure it out as we go along," Lex responded, playing with Clark's hair. The younger boy smiled goofily and rested his head on Lex's shoulder.

Kate stood up. "All I know is that I have several plates of bacon and eggs in the kitchen getting cold. Why don't you two come in for breakfast?"

Clark growled playfully into Lex's neck, his mood changing as quickly as the subject had. Lex suppressed a giggle and gave Kate a pleading look.

"Would you be terribly offended if we went back to bed for a little while?"

Kate chuckled out loud. "All the more food for me."

Lex and Clark started up the stairs, Clark barely able to keep his hands to himself.

"Oh, and boys?"

The two turned around to face Kate.

"Take your time," she said with a wink.

They both laughed and continued up the stairs. 


	10. Jolt

Title: Jolt

Series: Part 10

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

A/N: So it's been a while since I updated this. It was a combination of writer's block and a schedule so busy that I could hardly breathe. But now I'm back and my block is gone (knock on wood) and I apologize to everyone who was reading and reviewing. Y'all come back now, ya hear?

A/N2: I'm jumping right into things here. So if it's been a while, you might want to skim through the other chapters before reading this one so you don't get completely lost. :)

**********

Lex woke up with a splitting headache and a craving for black coffee so powerful he could feel it through his whole body. He reached out for Clark, but the bed next to him was empty. He got up and attempted to put on his robe several times before realizing that it was upside down. Too tired to even swear in frustration, he let out a long sigh and put his robe on the right way.  
  
He came down the stairs and his stomach jumped as he was greeted by the smell of coffee. As he entered the dining room, Kate was pouring the coffee out of an expensive silver pot and arranging various breakfast foods on the table.  
  
"Kate, I told you. When you're in my house you're on vacation. You don't have to do this."  
  
"I know I don't. I just figured after your late night with Clark, you might want a nice breakfast to wake up to." Kate winked as she shoved a coffee mug into his hands.  
  
"It wouldn't be so late if his parents allowed us more than a weekly sleepover. I feel like I've been planning my life around Friday nights," Lex grumbled. 

"It's for his own good, Lex. He needs to focus on his summer school."

"I know. Have you seen him, by the way? You have all of his favorites here."  
  
"He left earlier this morning. He said he had to help Lonny with something."  
  
"Lana," Lex corrected, rolling his eyes slightly.  
  
"Yes, that was it." Kate paused and studied Lex for a moment. "I didn't just tell you something I shouldn't have, did I?"  
  
Lex took a long sip of his coffee. "No. Clark is helping her with a party she's throwing at the Talon."  
  
"I see. And I assume by the look on your face that you're not invited?"  
  
"Oh, I'm invited. I'm just not sure I care to see Lana hanging all over my boyfriend like a bad smell all night. She's already asked him to be her date."  
  
Kate smiled and sat down next to Lex, running her hand over his head much the way his mother used to. Over the past few weeks since the Fourth of July, Lex had started seeing more and more similarities between Kate and his mother, one being the affectionate way Lillian always touched his hairless scalp, almost as if she enjoyed it. Kate had also shared many of her stories, giving Lex a better sense of the wonderful woman his mother really was.  
  
"I know how much you wish you could be open about your relationship."  
  
Lex nodded. "But this is the way Clark needs it to be right now. It's what we both need. I don't even want to think about the press getting hold of this, not to mention my father."  
  
"Well, that doesn't mean that you can't go to the party anyway. Just to keep an eye on things." Kate smiled mischievously.  
  
"You mean to make Clark squirm?" Lex shot back.  
  
"Or Lonny."  
  
"Lana."  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
They both started to chuckle. Lex took another sip of his coffee.  
  
"Maybe I could take you as my date," he said.  
  
"That depends on when the party is. You know I can't stay in Smallville very long."  
  
"You can stay as long as Lionel isn't around. And he's out of the country for another month."  
  
Kate got back to her feet, refilling Lex's mug and putting some fruit on a plate. "Well then, Mr. Luthor, I believe you just found yourself a date."  
  
With another smile, she set the plate on the table in front of Lex and started to leave the room. Just as she got to the door of the kitchen, Lex stopped her.  
  
"Kate?" She turned around. "I was wondering if you wanted to come see the plant today. You know… just to—"  
  
"I'd love to," Kate said, beaming. "I'd love to, Lex."  
  
Lex took a deep breath, almost embarrassed at how much he enjoyed Kate's approval, her pride in his accomplishments. He knew he was taking a risk bringing her to the fertilizer plant. Any number of Lionel's spies could be working there, reporting everything Lex did right back to his father. But he didn't care. He would have Kate wear a scarf or something. He just couldn't pass up the chance to show her how far he had come, how much responsibility he had. It was almost like... 

__

Like having a mom, he thought, a little sadly. _Even if it's just temporary._

Lex turned back to the table and started on his plate of fruit. Kate remained in the door of the kitchen for a few moments longer, her heart full of unconditional love for the young man before her. And absolute loathing for the man who took away his childhood after Lillian died.  
  
**********

"Balloons, banners, music… what am I forgetting?"  
  
Lana tapped her pen nervously against her clipboard, which was resting just beneath her face on the bar in the Talon. Clark put his hand over the pen, stopping its movement.  
  
"You're not forgetting anything, Lana. And even if you are, we have two weeks before the party. You have plenty of time."  
  
"I know, I just want it to be perfect." Then she smiled, relaxing slightly. "I watched hours of my summer vacation fly right past me while I studied for that dumb history test. I refuse to let that be for nothing."  
  
"It wasn't for nothing. Academic excellence is its own reward."  
  
Lana looked up at Clark with her eyes wide, and Clark held a straight face for as long as he possibly could. Which wasn't long. They both broke out giggling. When Lana regained her composure, she put down her pen and gazed at Clark with a thoughtful smile.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know, you just seem… different. Just a few weeks ago you were so unhappy, and now it's like you've done a complete 180. Tell me, Clark, what's your secret?"  
  
Clark blushed at the long line of Lex-oriented thoughts that danced through his head, and decided that it wasn't the right time to tell Lana. "I guess I just decided to stop moping. Yeah, I've had some hard times, but who hasn't? I just need to get on with things."  
  
Lana's eyes narrowed slightly, but she didn't press. She was becoming very accustomed to Clark's evasive answers. "Well, whatever it is, I'm glad. I want you to be happy, Clark. I really do."  
  
He smiled thankfully and they shared another long look. Lana finally broke away.  
  
"So, um, I wonder what's keeping Chloe and Pete. Didn't they say they were going to bring their CDs today?"  
  
"Well, you know Chloe," Clark snickered. "Her Saturday afternoons wouldn't be complete without a visit to The Gap."  
  
"Old Navy, smart guy," Chloe said as she and Pete entered with a rustle of plastic bags. "I may be an up and coming reporter, but I'm not filthy rich yet."  
  
"Could've fooled me," Pete muttered as he dropped his own oversize load of bags in a nearby booth. "Can you believe only one of these bags is mine?"  
  
"Yes," Clark and Lana said simultaneously.  
  
"Hey!" Chloe said through her own laughter. "Party planning puts me in a good mood, okay? I felt like treating myself to some new things."  
  
"Just as long as you remembered the CDs," Lana put in.  
  
"Of course I did." Chloe picked up one of her bags and brought it over to the bar where she began to remove the CDs one by one, presenting them to Lana. Pete took Clark by the arm and led him over to a table.  
  
"What's up, Pete?"  
  
"I was just wondering something. Do you think Chloe would want to be my date for the party?"  
  
Clark looked at Chloe and then back at Pete with a toothy grin. "You and Chloe?"  
  
"Would you keep it down? No, there is no me and Chloe, but I'd kind of like there to be. What do you think?"  
  
"I think there's only one way to find out."  
  
Pete sighed, exasperated. "Nice, Clark. Really useful advice there."  
  
"Well, what did you want me to say?"  
  
"I was kind of hoping for a little more insight from the expert."  
  
"The expert? Pete, what are you talking about? I'm the last person you should be asking for advice on relationships."  
  
"Right. As if I'm not smart enough to see what's really going on."  
  
Clark looked at Pete seriously, feeling a butterfly hatch in his stomach and lick at his throat. "What's really—"

"You and Lana, man!" Pete whispered emphatically. "You think I haven't noticed your improved moods lately?"

Clark closed his eyes, partly relieved and partly annoyed. He hated being dishonest with his friends, and he was hoping that until he felt the time was right, he would only have to _not mention_ his involvement with Lex as opposed to blatantly lying. But now his friends were making assumptions and he just didn't have the courage to tell them yet.

"Of course you've noticed. You're my best friend, right?" He paused, raising his eyebrows to emphasize the last word.

"That's right, Clark. Bros for life. So what do you say? Give me some of those Kent Words of Wisdom."

"I'm sorry, Pete," Clark laughed. "I honestly don't know what to tell you. After all, Lana asked me, not the other way around." On Pete's look, Clark continued. "Okay, fine. I'll go ask Chloe if she would be interested in being your date. Will that do?"

Pete slapped Clark on the shoulder. "I knew I could count on you!" 

"Yeah, whatever."

Pete sat down at the table as a waitress came over to take his order. Clark walked back to Lana and Chloe who were busily looking at CD titles. 

"Hey, Chloe, I--"

"Yes." Chloe blurted, without even looking up.

"What? You don't even know what I was going to say."

"Yes, I do. And the answer is yes. I would love to be Pete's date."

Chloe continued her task as Lana and Clark shared a surprised look. Chloe finally stopped what she was doing to look at them both.

"Oh, come on, guys, he's been hinting at it for a week. So just tell him to get his tail out from between his legs and ask me already."

Clark laughed, a little shocked. "Well, okay. That was a little easier than I thought it would be."

"A little?" Lana asked, laughing.

Clark went back to Pete and sat across from him at the table. Chloe and Lana watched long enough to see the triumphant smile on Pete's face, then went back to the CDs.

"So you and Pete, huh?" Lana teased. "Anything serious going on?"

"Well, not at the moment. Ask me again after the party." 

Lana's jaw dropped in mock embarrassment. "Goodness, Chloe. Are you planning to supply some fireworks for the big event?"

"Well, why should you and Clark get all the glory?"

A few moments passed before Chloe noticed that Lana had stopped laughing. She pulled up a stool next to Lana's behind the bar and sat down. 

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

Lana shut her eyes, nodding quickly. "Yeah, it's just... I don't know. Everyone assumes that Clark and I are already an item, but the party will be our first actual date."

"Ah. And you're worried that things won't work out as well as you want them to."

"Well, that too..."

Chloe's eyes widened. "That too? You mean there's something else?"

"Chloe, please don't repeat any of this to Clark, okay?" Chloe nodded her head as she solemnly crossed her heart with her index finger. "I think something's going on with him. His moods have been all over the place for the last few weeks and then he suddenly returned to normal. Better than normal, even."

"That's no surprise. You have to remember everything he's been through..."

"But that's the thing," Lana continued. "The mood swings I can understand. But the last month, he's been practically glowing. And after losing a big chunk of your life, I wouldn't expect someone to recover that quickly. I just feel like there's something I don't know about."

"Or someone," Chloe muttered, half to herself.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just thinking out loud." She perked up. "Don't worry about it, Lana. It doesn't really matter why he's doing better. Let's just be grateful that he is."

"You're right. I guess I'm just being selfish."

But neither of them really planned to just let it go. They both gave Clark a wondering look, Chloe's face a reflection of piqued curiosity, and Lana's of growing worry.

**********

That night, Clark barely made it to the top of the stairs in the loft. For a guy who didn't tire that easily, Clark was exhausted. He never knew that shopping could be so difficult. After they finished up at the Talon, Clark and Pete had accompanied Lana and Chloe to pick out balloons and streamers, an easy enough task on paper. But when they got to the store, not only did the girls have to look at every item on every shelf, but they had to go back several times to items they had already looked at to see how different colors went together. After a few dozen changes in color scheme and several popped balloons, Clark was ready to dig a hole in the ground just to get some quiet.

But somehow it ended. Clark dropped his friends off at their houses and now he was standing in the loft, practically aching at the sight of the inviting couch before him. With a whoosh, he dropped onto his stomach and let out a long sigh as the cushions settled beneath him. He didn't even care that his long legs were hanging off the end. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the ringing silence of the night.

Somewhere on his way to sleep, he felt a light pressure on his back. Soon the pressure intensified and Clark groaned happily, feeling the tension melt away as skilled fingers kneaded his muscles. He enjoyed it for a few moments longer under the pretense of being asleep, before finally turning over to greet his lover.

"Lex," he whispered once he was lying on his back, smiling drowsily.

"Hey there," Lex replied, stretching out on his stomach above Clark. Clark draped his arms around his back and Lex buried his face in Clark's neck, breathing softly.

Clark's smile widened. "I feel like I haven't seen you for a week."

"Busy day?" Lex mumbled into warm flesh.

"Yeah. You?"

"Mm-hmm."

Clark giggled softly as Lex started to nibble on his ear, still breathing wetly into the sensitive area.

"Why didn't you wake me this morning?" Lex asked throatily. 

"You looked so peaceful." Clark's breath hitched as Lex started biting.

"That's because I thought you were next to me." Lex began to lick Clark's neck.

"I-- Ah! I didn't realize it would upset you."

"I'm not upset," Lex whispered, his hand trailing down Clark's front. "Actually, it kind of turned me on. I'm not used to being the one left behind the morning after."

Clark breathed even more heavily as Lex's hand started to work its way into his jeans. But he allowed himself only a moment of exhilarating contact before pushing Lex back. Lex sat up.

"What's wrong, Clark?"

Clark sat up next to him. "My parents are home."

"That's why we're out here."

Lex attempted to push Clark back onto the couch, but Clark wouldn't budge. "Lex, please. This has been the longest day of my life and all I could think about was how much I wanted to be with you. Can you just..." Clark's face reddened slightly. "Can you just hold me?"

Lex's seductive stare melted into a self-indulgent grin. "Get over here, farm boy."

Smiling, Clark bounced closer to his boyfriend. He leaned his head against the broad shoulder, resting his legs on top of Lex's. Lex held him close and kissed the top of his head. They shared a long silence just enjoying the closeness, breathing each other in. Clark's eyes drooped shut as Lex caressed his face.

Eventually Clark sat up and gave Lex a long, thorough kiss and when he broke away, Lex broke the silence. "Have you made any progress with the tape?"

In place of a response, Clark averted his eyes.

"You haven't even listened to it, have you?" Lex stated.

Clark shivered at the memory of his own voice screaming in that sharp tongue. "I'm sorry, Lex. I want to find out what it means just as much as you do, but it's just so weird. It scares me to hear myself like that. I'm afraid if I listen to it again, I'll..."

"Don't, Clark. You're not going to turn into some kind of monster."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." Lex took Clark's face in both hands and looked deep into his eyes. "I know you, Clark. You wouldn't hurt anybody..."

"But what about..."

"...who doesn't deserve it," Lex finished quickly. Clark tried to lower his head, but Lex held it in place. "Hey. It's going to be all right."

Clark smiled half-heartedly and nodded. Lex leaned in for another kiss and just as he got to Clark's lips, Clark pulled away abruptly.

"What is it, Cl--"

Before Lex could finish, Clark pressed his hand against Lex's chest, shoving him back against the couch with a jolt.

"Clark, what the--"

Clark looked into Lex's eyes coldly, cutting off any further protests. The look in Clark's eyes was frightening, like he didn't even know who Lex was. Or care. His hand ran slowly down Lex's chest until it reached his stomach, the area of the symbol that was now not much more than a scar which Lex planned on having removed as soon as possible. Clark looked down at his own hand and then back into Lex's eyes, leaning forward menacingly, his mouth curling into a vicious snarl as his eyes seemed to darken. 

"I know, Lex," he spat through clenched teeth, his anger palpable. "I _always_ know."

Then Clark's eyes rolled back into his head and he started coughing violently. Lex quickly grabbed his waist, stopping him from falling off the couch, and held him up.

"Clark! What happened?"

Clark's coughing soon settled down and he looked at Lex blankly. "Did I just black out?"

"You don't remember? You just shoved me against the couch. You were furious."

Clark's eyes began to water. "You see? This is what I'm talking about, Lex. There is something wrong inside of me! I can't listen to that tape ever again! I--"

Lex caught Clark's lips with his own, quieting his shouts. "Your parents are here, remember?"

"Lex, I'm scared." Clark wiped at his eyes, trying to stop his chin from trembling.

"Don't be. I told you, Clark, everything will be okay. Do you trust me?" Lex asked, sincerely hoping the nervousness in his voice wasn't obvious. Clark nodded. "Okay then. Come here."

Clark let himself be pulled back into his lover's arms and Lex resumed their kiss, warm and gentle. It soon picked up speed and Clark climbed onto Lex's lap, grinding against him softly as his face contorted in a mixture of pleasure and desperation. Lex reached around and gently squeezed Clark's butt. A throaty groan escaped his lips as Clark's grinding increased.

Neither of them noticed the silent spectator at the other end of the loft, standing completely still in the doorway, arms crossed, feet planted evenly in the shadows.

That spectator was Jonathan Kent.

**********

Somewhere on the other side of the world, the morning sun was just starting to shine across the hardwood floor of a massive, expensively decorated office. A buzz sounded at the door and a servant entered, rushing to the oak desk behind which sat a large leather swivel chair with its back to the room. The servant waited somewhat impatiently to be acknowledged. 

"You don't even wait for an answer," said the chair's occupant. "Kind of defeats the purpose of the buzzer, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, sir," the servant said, looking at the floor. "There was an emergency. She..." he took a breath before going on. "She flat-lined, sir."

The chair turned around slowly, revealing Lionel Luthor with a look of most dangerous calm stretched across his face. "You were able to revive her?" A warning in the form of a question.

"Sir," the servant nodded. "But she's very weak. I don't think--"

"I don't pay you to think, Sergio," Lionel muttered, picking up his coffee mug and blowing into it lightly. "How are things back home? Any changes I should be aware of?"

"Your son is still spending time with the boy, sir. But they have slowed down to only once a week."

"How quaint," Lionel chuckled. "I suppose Lex is trying to be old-fashioned."

"Actually, I believe the boy's parents are behind the decision. He's in summer school."

"I see," said Lionel, clearly uninterested. "Anything else?"

"Your son has been seen with an unknown woman. He brought her to the fertilizer plant and apparently took great pains to hide her identity."

"Great pains?" 

"Sunglasses, a scarf for her hair."

Lionel put down his cup and began fingering a gold and silver chess set that rested on the corner of his desk. "Interesting," he whispered. "Perhaps it's time for a surprise inspection of Lex's plant. There's really not much more I can do here."

Sergio looked at Lionel expectantly, waiting diligently for his next orders.

"Call the airport," Lionel spouted, rising majestically to his feet. "I want to leave within the week."

"Yes, sir." The devoted servant began to leave when Lionel called him back once more.

"Sergio?"

"Sir?"

"See that our guest is as comfortable as possible while I'm away."

"The doctors won't leave her side, sir."

Lionel blinked, dismissing Sergio. Once he was alone in the office, he walked through the large doors that led out onto the deck and let the sun shine down onto his face, warming him. He knew Lex wasn't expecting him back in Smallville for at least another month. He smiled vaguely at the look of shock that was certain to blaze across Lex's face when he showed up early. Lex _and_ his young boyfriend.


	11. Surprises

Title: Surprises

Series: Part 11

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Spoilers: None

A/N: Takes places a few hours after the end of Jolt.

**********

Clark first became aware of the thin blanket wrapped tightly around his body, not even beginning to cover his legs. Next came the smells, the fresh scents of cut grass, saw dust, and hay, the old and comforting smell of the couch in the hayloft. Lastly, he realized that beneath the blanket, he was completely naked.

With this his features melted into a lazy smile. Without bothering to open his eyes, he stretched out his legs and pointed his toes, allowing the blood to begin the flow that had been cut off by sleeping on the small couch. He wrapped the blanket more tightly around himself and remembered his long night of love making with Lex. Not much of it had taken place here on the couch, but this is where they had ended up. 

The night had started out intense and needful. Clark's emotional wounds had been irritated again and he took from Lex hungrily as Lex gave everything he had to make Clark whole. 

After that, things had slowed down. Clark opened up a cooler behind the couch, revealing his stash of sodas, and he and Lex shared an icy can of Coke. They sat in each other's arms completely naked, a bold move on Kent property that neither would have dared to make had they not been in the midst of their post coital haze. Passing the can back and forth, they talked about nothing in particular.

And it was nice. Both Clark and Lex wondered why they couldn't be this way more often; no deadlines, no curfews, no disruptive outside forces. Just Clark and Lex, enjoying each other's company.

It wasn't until Clark started to dose off, that Lex took a drop of moisture from the soda can and gently massaged Clark's nipple with it. After that, the talking ceased, the Coke can was discarded, and they began the next round of blinding pleasure. Though it wasn't nearly as urgent as the first time, it was still unnerving in its beauty.

But now as Clark lay on the couch with the soft light of dawn glowing softly through his eyelids, he felt the inevitable disappointment that came with the combination of the stirring between his legs, and the knowledge that Lex had already gone home. That is until he opened his eyes and saw Lex gazing at him from the seat in front of the desk.

"There's my beautiful boy," Lex half-whispered.

"Lex," Clark lifted his head. "You're still here."

"Always," Lex said as he crossed the room to kneel next to Clark. He ran his fingers through the rumpled hair of his lover and kissed him deeply. "Get dressed."

Clark pulled at Lex's shirt with a sly grin creeping across his lips. "Wouldn't you rather get undressed?"

"All in good time, love. But right now, we have to go."

Clark sat up then, careful to keep the raggedy old quilt wrapped around his legs, and reached for the Coke can next to him on the floor. He took several long swallows to wash away the taste of morning, not even caring that the soda was warm. He emptied the contents of the can, and then burped softly as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Go where?" he asked.

"The city." Before Clark could respond, Lex handed Clark a clean, neatly folded T-shirt and pair of jeans. 

"Lex, I can't. I have chores."

"Not today, you don't," Lex responded with a wink. Then he picked up a small gym bag and headed for the stairs. "I'll put the rest of your things in the car. Be ready when I get back."

"My things? Lex--" 

But Lex was already gone. Still too sleepy to go after him, Clark gave in and put on his clothes. He blushed slightly when he grabbed his folded pants and a pair of blue briefs fell out onto the floor. He picked them up and spread them out to get a better look. They weren't at all immodest, but they were definitely more revealing than any of the undergarments Clark wore, which mostly consisted of boxers. He slipped into them and closed his eyes happily at their snug fit, the way the expensive material clung to his skin.

__

Lex bought me underwear, he thought giddily as he laughed to himself. _Lex Luthor bought me underwear!_

He finished dressing just as Lex was coming back up the stairs. Clark sat down to put on his shoes, but Lex took them away.

"Do it in the car. We're going to be late."

"Late for what, Lex?" Clark asked with exaggerated innocence, really beginning to enjoy the mystery.

"Breakfast." Lex planted a quick kiss onto Clark's lips and grabbed his hand, leading him out of the loft.

Just as they reached the door, they kissed again quickly and disconnected, knowing that Jonathan was usually up before sunrise and not wanting to risk him seeing. A surge of regret ran through Clark's mind. He hated keeping things from his father. He was so happy and all he wanted was to be able to share it with those who meant the most to him. But until Jonathan became more accepting of Lex's role in their lives, the truth would just have to wait.

And sure enough, as Clark climbed into the passenger side of Lex's car, Jonathan watched from the field, sitting quite still in the seat of his tractor. Clark didn't notice and therefore didn't say anything, but Lex saw him. And there was something even more disconcerting than usual about his steely gaze; possibly the fact that they were making direct eye contact and Jonathan wasn't even attempting to hide the animosity he felt, as if without Martha in the way, he had no reason to. 

Lex waved before getting into his own seat, but Jonathan remained motionless. He looked almost eerie in the early morning glow as he sat in the middle of the field, his shoulders slightly hunched, the silent tractor waiting beneath him. He reminded Lex of a rattlesnake, coiled and ready to strike. Despite the fact that he had already gotten the trip to Metropolis okayed with Clark's parents, he felt extremely uneasy about being watched in this way.

Taking a shallow breath, he started the car and turned to Clark who was smiling widely at him, his eyes still puffy from just waking up.

"What, no questions?" Lex asked. "You're not even going to try to figure this out?"

Clark shook his head. "I like surprises."

With that, Lex shifted into gear and smoothly pulled out onto the road toward the brightening horizon and the city of Metropolis.

**********

Taking the last few bites of his omelet and washing it down with a sip of coffee, Lex smiled at Clark who was ravenously shoveling forkful after forkful of pancakes into his mouth. They were in a quiet restaurant in Metropolis, right next to a window with a view so high and all-encompassing it made Lex dizzy, and somehow all he could look at was the hungry boy   
before him. Finally coming up for air, and a drink of water, Clark noticed his audience of one.  
  
"Wha?" he said through his mouthful.  
  
"You're eating like you just finished a marathon," Lex chuckled.  
  
Clark took several long swallows of his water, followed by a satisfied sigh. "Not a marathon," he said picking up his fork. "Just a night with you. What was it, four? Five times?"  
  
"Sshh," Lex warned, though more for his own sake than for anyone who might hear.  
  
"And with my parents next door," Clark went on. "I thought my heart would never stop pounding."  
  
Lex dropped his hand onto Clark's, which was resting on the table, unable to speak through the surge of adrenaline the memory gave him.  
  
"And then when you had me bent over the railing…"  
  
Before Clark could go on, Lex leaned over the table and took a quick but very demanding kiss, leaving Clark somewhat dazed. Nobody in the nearly empty restaurant seemed to notice, but Lex wasn't sure he would have cared if they did.  
  
"Careful," he told Clark mischievously. "You wouldn't want me to ravage you right here on the table."  
  
"Wouldn't I?" Clark teased, slowly licking a drop of syrup from his finger.  
  
Lex closed his eyes and took another drink of his coffee. "Finish your breakfast," he muttered in defeat.  
  
Clark did just that, and when he had cleaned his plate, he joined Lex in a cup of coffee. Lex's hand resumed its position on top of Clark's, and they gazed into each other's eyes for a long time before Clark spoke.  
  
"Thank you for this," he said softly.  
  
"They do have good pancakes here, don't they," Lex said with a wink.  
  
"Lex, I'm serious! Thank you for planning all of this, for thinking of me." 

"Not a moment goes by that I'm not thinking of you," Lex said, his own voice softening. "Besides, we don't get enough time to just… be with each other. I mean, sure, you save my life once or twice a week, and horrifying circumstances seem to keep throwing us in the same general direction." Clark smiled at this. "But I think we both need some quiet time together, just to enjoy each other."  
  
Clark's smile nearly began to glow as he was reminded just how well Lex knew him. But at the back of his mind, he felt a slight twinge of worry. There was just a touch of sadness in Lex's eyes, regret in his tone. But it was replaced so quickly with love and affection, that Clark forgot about it.  
  
"I love you, Lex."  
  
"I love you too, beautiful."  
  
They shared another moment of silence, during which time Clark remembered his new underwear. Leaning in closer, as if anyone around them would even know what he was referring to, he said, "And thank you for the gift."  
  
Lex seemed not to understand, but the light in his eyes soon turned on. "The first of many. Today is your day."  
  
Clark shook his head. "Today is Our day. So what's next?"  
  
"Why don't we go find out?"  
  
Within the next five minutes, Lex had paid the bill, ushered Clark to the elevators, and they were on their way to the first floor of the immense building.  
  
"Isn't your car parked on one of the basement levels?" Clark asked.  
  
"Yeah, it is."  
  
"So why the first floor?"  
  
Lex smirked playfully. "Because we're not taking my car."  
  
Clark knew he wouldn't get anymore out of Lex, so he just gave up.  
  
"You trust me don't you?" Lex shot.  
  
Refusing to dignify such a question with a vocal response, Clark grabbed Lex tightly in his arms and kissed him heavily, pushing him up against the side of the elevator and lifting him off the floor a few inches. Lex let himself be taken, opening his mouth willingly to the insatiable tongue that sought entrance. They kissed until Lex thought he would pass out from lack of oxygen, and as if sensing his discomfort, Clark pulled away from his mouth and began work on his neck. Biting and sucking a line up to Lex's ear, causing the skin to turn an almost nonexistent pink, Clark began to pull at the bottom of Lex's shirt, breathing loudly when he finally got to the warm skin of his lover's stomach.  
  
"Clark, we have to stop. We'll be on the ground soon."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Clark said as he reached for the emergency stop button.  
  
Grabbing Clark's hand, Lex shook his head. "If you stop the elevator, the emergency bell will ring."  
  
"Well, this is an emergency," Clark said breathlessly, barely able to keep his eyes open in the fog of his arousal. "We haven't made love in almost six hours."  
  
Lex looked down at his wristwatch. "Actually, it's only been four and a half. Besides, that doesn't come until later."  
  
"Leeeeex!" Clark whined.  
  
"Good things come to those who wait, Clark. I promise I'll keep you occupied in the meantime."  
  
Lex gave Clark a sweet kiss on the tip of the nose, and they barely had time to straighten out their clothing before the elevator opened on the ground floor to a large group of people waiting to get on. Clark gave Lex an embarrassed smile and felt his ears go hot as he made his way through the   
cluster of men and women, thinking of what he had almost done on the elevator they were about to board.  
  
But he didn't have much time to think on this, because just as they were going through the revolving doors at the front of the building, Clark noticed the stretch limousine that was waiting by the curb. He stopped in his tracks, astounded by the size of it. He couldn't even remember seeing one that big on television.  
  
"There must be a star in town or something," he half whispered to Lex.  
  
"There is," Lex replied pointing toward the limo.  
  
Clark's gaze followed the extended finger and saw the chauffeur standing next to the back door of the limousine, holding up a sign that said CK in elegant, cursive letters.  
  
"This is for me?" Clark felt his throat constricting.  
  
"Calvin Klein actually," Lex said matter-of-factly. "I wonder if I can get an autograph."  
  
Clark shoved Lex's shoulder slightly. "Tease me all you want, Lex. I still love you."  
  
Lex's smile widened and he held up his hand, gesturing for Clark to go ahead and climb in the door that the chauffeur was now holding open for him. Clark practically jumped inside and Lex followed quickly after him, relieved to shut the door on the world and enjoy the quiet privacy of the limo. Lex used to love the crowded feel of Metropolis, the constant shoving of people   
on the sidewalk, the congestion of the traffic during peak hours of the day. It all made him feel so connected, like he was really part of something, no matter how insignificant he was.  
  
Nowadays, the only thing that made him feel that way was Clark. And the hustle of the city streets around him only seem to get in the way of their connection, cluttering up their shared energy like static from a radio getting in the way of a favorite tune.

As if reading his mind, Clark started messing around with the buttons on the console next to him until he finally found the one that raised the partition between the driver and the back of the car. It hummed pleasantly and closed with a barely audible _shup _and Clark was immediately at Lex's side, wrapping his strong arms around Lex's slender torso. He kissed Lex's neck lightly.

"Clark, I told you we'll get to this part later," Lex said breathily.

"What? I can't even kiss my boyfriend's neck? I thought we were just enjoying each other today."

Lex thought this over, finding his brain a bit cloudy from the warm sensation of Clark's mouth. "Well, I suppose a kiss on the neck wouldn't hurt. Just as long as it doesn't get too..."

"Mmmm," Clark hummed as he started to suck.

"...wet," Lex whispered. His resolve was getting weaker and weaker by the second. It was sheer will power that gave him the strength to pick up the telephone and ask the driver how much longer it would be. His voice cracked slightly, but the driver didn't seem to notice. Placing the receiver back in its cradle, Lex gently pushed Clark away.

"Baby, we have to stop. We're almost there."

Clark pouted. "Where?"

"You'll see."

"Somewhere we can be alone?" Clark's face lightened up.

"In a manner of speaking. But if you don't behave I'm going to have to turn this limo around and head back to Smallville."

"Cross my heart," Clark said, grabbing Lex's hand. Lex took the few remaining minutes of their car ride to take some deep breaths and settle his nerves. No one had ever been able to affect him the way Clark could, and being teased like that without a final payoff always seemed to make him tense.

At last the car stopped and the chauffeur came around to open their door. Lex kissed Clark's hand and they both stepped out of the car in front of an enormous building of concrete and stone with a wide staircase of cement leading up to the front doors. Clark squinted at the building and then at the surrounding area, feeling strongly as though he had been there before, when sudden recognition came shooting through his mind.

Clark and Lex were standing outside Luthor Hall. The same museum where Phelan first came into Clark's life after seeing Clark stop the bus with the force of his shoulder outside. He felt his palms start to itch and his breathing speed up as he turned to Lex with fear in his eyes.

"It's okay, Clark."

"No, it's not! This is where--"

"I know." Lex took both of Clark's hand in his. "And it's all over now. Nothing here can hurt you."

"I don't want to go in there," Clark whispered.

"I want you to, Clark. I don't want you to be afraid anymore. And I don't want this place to always be a symbol of something horrible for you. We're going to make new memories here today, good ones." 

Clark didn't respond, instead merely pleading with his eyes. Before Lex was too tempted to give in, he put his hand on Clark's back and started guiding him toward the steps.

"They've put in a new exhibit that I think you'll be interested in. It will be just the two of us and I promise I won't leave your side."

With a last look into Lex's eyes, Clark finally nodded his head and let himself be led up the stairs. Once inside, he immediately began to look around for remnants of that fateful night in January of 2002, but found almost nothing. There weren't nearly as many people in the main foyer, and the people that were there were dressed much more casually than the night of the Grand Opening. Clark looked to the middle of the room where the ornately jeweled breastplate had been on display, and saw that the armor and even the display case had been removed. That was a small relief, but Clark was still apprehensive.

"Relax," Lex said into Clark's ear. "Nobody here knows you."

Lex squeezed his shoulders and Clark let his muscles loosen at the touch. Once he felt like he was ready to go on, he nodded his head and Lex lead him straight forward down a long hallway full of more displays of ancient artifacts. They stopped on the right where a young man in a vest and bowtie was standing next to a ticket box. He straightened up slightly when he saw Lex coming toward him.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Luthor," he said nervously.

"Same to you," Lex responded. "My friend and I would like to view the new exhibit if that's all right."

"Oh, absolutely! Come right in."

The young man disconnected the velvet rope that was blocking the doorway behind him, and stepped aside so that Clark and Lex could go through. Inside was another small area that appeared to be a waiting room. There were several generic pieces of art on the wall, but nothing fitting of a museum, and the room was full of other people who seemed to be waiting. Clark leaned to Lex, slight worry creasing his brow.

"I thought you said we'd be alone."

Lex's heart nearly broke at Clark's sudden shyness and resisted the urge to kiss him. "We will be, babe. Just give me a second."

As Clark was starting to realize that the people in the room were in a line, Lex walked to the head of the line where the attendant stood, seeming to be waiting for something himself.

"Bob," Lex said.

"Lex!" Bob shot back. Bob had been working a lot longer than the usher outside and was quite a bit older. He was loyal to the Luthors, but he didn't seem to be intimidated by them. Lex always found that impressive. "Finally came to see our new set up, huh?"

"I knew I had to eventually. My friend and I were wondering if you could squeeze us in."

"Not a problem, my boy." Then without any warning, Bob's voice took on an air of authority that was almost startling as he addressed the other visitors. "Okay, ladies and gentleman, can we back up a little here? VIP coming through, make way, make way!"

There was a small rustle of protest among those who had been waiting, but everyone shuffled a few steps backward. Lex turned around and motioned for Clark to come over, and just as he did, a small car, not unlike one found on a roller coaster, jetted out of a hole in the wall and rode along a little track on the floor, stopping just in front of Bob.

"Step right up, boys!" Bob chirped. Clark got in the car, more confused than ever and Lex got in next to him. Immediately, it picked back up and they were off along the track. Headed straight for a solid wall.

"Um, Lex?" Clark asked.

"Just watch. And put these on."

Lex motioned to a pair of 3D glasses that were sitting on the hand rest in front of Clark, as he put on his own pair. Clark put them on and shifted in his seat slightly as the wall came closer and closer. Then with a sudden jerk, the car shot forward and there was an amused gasp from the onlookers as the car shot straight at the wall-- and right through it.

"Ah!" Clark gasped, as he found himself in darkness. "What the hell was that?!"

"Hologram," Lex said, the smile audible in his voice. "The wall wasn't really there to begin with."

"Okay, Lex, what is this? I don't understand--"

Just then, the darkness gave way to a soft glow. He looked at Lex whose pale skin was illuminated softly by the dim light coming from above, and when Clark looked up, he gasped again. Above them was an exact replication of the night sky complete with a crescent moon, the Big Dipper, and several other constellations that Clark knew by heart. And with the effect of the 3D glasses, he had to remind himself that he wasn't actually seeing the sky.

"Lex..." he whispered, momentarily unable to say anything else. 

"I hoped you'd like it."

With a burst of overflowing joy, Clark leaned over and kissed Lex loudly on the cheek. Then without looking away from the ceiling, he searched for Lex's hand, finally grasping it firmly in his own.

As he soon found out, the stars were only the background to the actual exhibit. From the walls around them, there were realistic projections of each of the planets with a man's voice giving dozens of interesting facts about them all. Everything from temperature and distance from the sun to the number of moons and the length of their orbits. 

Then there was a commentary on some of the more recent comets, with startling visuals of the comets flying by right in front of their eyes. Clark flinched more than once at the spectacle and Lex laughed softly, pulling the younger boy closer to him.

Once the narrator had finished all of his facts about the known solar system, he began to list some of the predictions that renowned scientists have made. To set the mood for this section of the tour, there were suddenly stars everywhere, all around them, as if they were in the middle of outer space. 

"Let's jump ahead a little bit," the man said.

And as he did, the stars start to pass them, faster and faster until they were just a blur going by. A strong wind blew at the car, making it seem even more real, and Clark grabbed for the hand rail in front of him, hardly able to laugh through his breathlessness. Finally the stars slowed down and the image faded into a group of fictitious solar systems, distant galaxies where an even balance of sunlight, air, and water could support life, and just how much time it would take for an Earth spaceship to get to one of these places. The facts were dizzying and suddenly Clark wondered just how long he had traveled before landing on Earth. Suppose he was just a newborn when he was placed in his small ship! Could he possibly have spent the first three years of his life unconscious? And that was assuming that he was in fact three years old when his adoptive parents found him. They really couldn't know for sure...

Sensing his tension, Lex squeezed Clark's hand and gave him a soft kiss on the ear.

"It's just speculation," he said soothingly. "They don't realize that some of these ideas have actually come true."

Clark smiled at Lex gratefully as the tour guide's voice was reaching the end of his speech. They turned a corner and a vast faraway view of Earth came into focus. The wind picked up again as the small planet became bigger and bigger, as though they were plummeting straight for it.

"Deja vu," Clark said with a snicker.

"Here's hoping for a safe landing," Lex nearly yelled over the wind.

Clark leaned into Lex's ear. "I'll keep you safe," he said.

They faced each other, suddenly oblivious of what was going on. As their lips neared each other, the planet neared their car and just as it looked like they were about to crash into the ocean, everything around them disappeared and they were suddenly jetting back into the room where they started. Lex quickly pulled away when he realized they were once again among other people, and Clark couldn't hide his disappointment.

"How did you like it?" Bob asked with a smile.

"Unbelievable," Lex replied. "Thank you for letting us in."

"My pleasure, Mr. Luthor. Come back soon."

Lex promised that he would, and he and Clark began to weave their way through the line of people and back out into the hallway. The usher outside the door offered a clumsily eager goodbye and before long, they were back in the limo, headed to their next destination. Clark had hardly said a word since getting out of the museum.  
  
"Everything okay?" Lex inquired.  
  
Clark nodded without lifting his eyes from the floor.  
  
"Talk to me," Lex persisted.  
  
With a long sigh, Clark gave in and began to talk. "It's just that what you did for me… taking me to that exhibit, making the museum seem like a safe place again. I don't think anyone has ever done something so kind and so perfect. You know me so well and when I was with you under the stars and we were alone in outer space, I felt like I could do anything, like the world belonged to me, you know?"  
  
"I know exactly," Lex said, kissing Clark's hand.  
  
"But it's a lie, Lex. The world doesn't belong to me."  
  
"It can…"  
  
"No, it can't! As long as we're together and we live in the world that we do, we can never be really honest. You were going to kiss me, Lex, and the second you realized people were watching, you pulled away."  
  
"I want to protect you, Clark."  
  
"Well, that's just it. I wish I didn't have to be protected. Why do people have to be so small-minded? I'm in love with the most wonderful man in the world, and I can't even tell anybody!"  
  
"Do you want me to give you permission, Clark? If I said it was okay, would you tell everyone?" Lex asked. Somewhere in his mind, there was a desperate voice, pleading with Clark to say yes.  
  
After a long moment, Clark shook his head. "It's not your fault, Lex. I just wish the world were different."  
  
"It will be some day, with the help of people like you," Lex said. "And I hope you know that I would do anything to save you from unnecessary pain. I never want to see you suffer."  
  
Lex's voice took on the same sadness Clark had noticed in the restaurant that morning, this time much more poignant. He searched Lex's eyes, caressing the older man's face softly. He silently prompted Lex to confide in him, but Lex brushed the moment away with a smile.  
  
"Come on. We're here."

Clark followed Lex out of the limo and found himself standing outside an enormous apartment building, soaring so high that Clark couldn't see the top. Without a word, Lex put his hand on Clark's back and led him inside where they walked through a lobby fitting of a four-star hotel, to a bank of elevators. In place of buttons were slots and Lex produced a plastic keycard to insert, granting them entrance. Once inside, Clark spoke.  
  
"Where are we?" he asked quietly.  
  
"We're on our way to my penthouse."  
  
Clark nodded his acknowledgment, refusing to make eye contact. The elevator continued its slow rise to the higher floors and Lex finally reached out to lightly touch Clark's arm. As if he had been hoping for the touch, Clark collapsed into Lex's arms, resting his head on Lex's shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said.  
  
"You didn't do anything wrong, Clark. Everything is okay."  
  
They remained that way for the rest of the elevator ride, Clark gripping Lex tightly, Lex stroking Clark's back. At last the bell rang and the doors soundlessly slid open revealing a short hallway of only about four doors. Lex took Clark by the hand and led him to the third door, and they went in.  
  
The penthouse was even more breath-taking than Clark had imagined. The living room had a high ceiling with a crystal chandelier hanging down over a tan leather couch. Beyond the couch, across from the front door, was a huge window overlooking the streets and buildings of Metropolis. Clark went to the window, hoping the view would take his mind off things, but it only upset him more. He looked out at that big, wide world and was reminded of how much he had to hide in his life, how he would always remain just two steps outside the circle.  
  
Gripping him from behind, Lex planted warm kisses up and down the side of Clark's neck. "I'm here," he said comfortingly. "And I understand."  
  
Clark nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of the tears that threatened to fall.  
  
"Come on," Lex said, pulling him away from the window. Clark let himself be guided past the kitchen and down a hallway that led to Lex's bedroom. This room was just as lavish as the one they had just left. The bed had a towering headboard of oak and a thick comforter of deep burgundy, and Clark wanted nothing more than to fall into it. Lex began to lift Clark's shirt off.  
  
"Lex, I don't think I'm in the mood…"  
  
"Sshhh," Lex replied as he succeeded in removing the shirt. "We're just going to sleep. We were up very early and I think we both need to rest."  
  
Clark gave a tired smile, realizing just how right Lex was, and allowed himself to be undressed. When he was down to the new blue briefs, Lex had to stand back a moment and admire the beauty. Clark was too tired to even blush and he stood completely still, allowing Lex to appreciate his body. After a few moments, Lex took two steps forward and put his thumbs under the   
thin waistband of Clark's underwear.  
  
"May I?"  
  
Clark nodded and Lex slowly pulled the underwear to the floor as Clark stepped out of it. Lex folded it up and put it neatly on the rest of Clark's clothes, then led Clark to the bed where he turned back the comforter revealing silk sheets of the very same color. Clark climbed into the bed and after quickly undressing, Lex joined him.  
  
Clark snuggled in as closely as he could, needing to feel Lex's naked skin against his own, and let out a deep sigh of relief. He buried his face in Lex's chest and Lex kissed the top of his head.  
  
"I'm here," Lex whispered again.  
  
"Will you be here when I wake up?" Clark asked, quickly losing coherence as sleep surrounded him.  
  
"Always."  
  
Seconds later, Clark was snoring lightly. Lex, however, was still awake and he was pretty sure it would stay that way. He ran his fingers through Clark's hair slowly as he thought with exquisite sadness about how much pain his relationship with Clark was causing the younger boy. Something would have to be done. He had known this for a while, that a time would come when   
he had to start letting go.  
  
Just then Clark's breath hitched, and without waking up, he curled his legs around Lex.  
  
_But not today_, Lex thought. _Today is our day._

**********

For the second time that day, Clark woke up alone. Slightly annoyed, he sat up and attempted to run his fingers through his hair, but the sleep-induced snarls proved to be too much for him. He wished Lex were there to do it for him. Lex always loved to run his fingers through Clark's hair, no matter how messy it was. He would really have to talk to Lex about all this running away. Was it so much to ask to have your lover next to you when you first wake...

Then with a flutter of his heart, Clark remembered the conversation he and Lex had had before lying down. He suddenly got a sinking feeling that Lex had finally grown tired of his whining and run out, leaving Clark to find his own way in this cold world, a world without...

"Lex?!" He cried out, jumping from the bed as the comforter fell to the ground around his feet.

"Just give me a second," Lex said from the other side of the bedroom door, clearly not noticing the desperation in Clark's voice. When Lex came in, he was dressed in one of his finest suits complete with a lavender shirt, and holding a large gift box in his hands. But when he saw the expression on Clark's face, when he saw Clark standing in the middle of the room naked and afraid, he dropped the box and went to his lover, pulling him tightly into his arms. 

"Clark, what is it? Did you have a nightmare?"

Clark shook his head against Lex's shoulder, breathing heavily and seemingly trying to push himself closer to Lex than the laws of physics would allow.

"I thought... I thought that..." Clark trailed off as he felt soothing fingers combing through his hair.

"You thought what, babe?"

Taking a deep breath of Lex's scent, he shook his head. "Nothing. It was just a dream."

Lex took a step back to look Clark in the eye. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Clark had a hard time meeting Lex's worried gaze, feeling a little silly about thinking that Lex would just take off like that. And yet... he was sure he had heard something in Lex's voice earlier, a quiet sadness that he hadn't noticed before.

"Okay," Lex said, interrupting his thoughts. "Well, I have another gift for you."

Lex retrieved the box from the floor, where luckily it hadn't sustained too much damage, and held it up for Clark.

"What is it?" Clark asked.

"Take it into the other room and find out," Lex said, motioning to the master bathroom.

Clark's face lit up with a smile and he jogged into the bathroom with the box held tightly against his chest.

When he got to the bathroom, he sat down on the edge of the gigantic bathtub with the box on his lap, and opened it. Inside he found a suit, not unlike the one that Lex was wearing, except that instead of Lex's signature purple, the silk shirt that Clark found in the box was his own signature red. There were a few other touches to the suit that made it more fitting of Clark's style, and he felt his stomach fill with warmth as he rubbed the soft fabric to his face.  
  
He emptied the box onto a nearby counter so he could begin to get dressed, and at the very bottom, he found another pair of underwear, very much like the blue pair Lex had given him. But this pair was red, the very same shade as the shirt.  
  
Clark put it on feeling as though his own face must be about as bright Then he put on the rest of the suit with super speed, trying desperately to avoid the beautifully dirty thoughts the briefs were putting into his mind. Once he felt like he was calm enough to face Lex, he stepped out into the   
bedroom, but he certainly wasn't ready for the look of pure adoration on Lex's face.  
  
"Is it… okay?"  
  
Lex made a noise somewhere between a laugh and sob and stepped forward to cup Clark's face in his hands. "Beautiful," was the only word he could manage.  
  
Then they lost themselves in each other's lips, feeling for all the world like they were kissing in slow motion. Finally Lex pulled back.  
  
"Come on. We have a reservation."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Dinner. And then to the theater."  
  
Clark smiled, knowing that he wouldn't get much more out of Lex. They walked to the front door hand in hand and then down to the ground floor where, as always, the limo was waiting outside. Once they were safely tucked inside, Clark kissed Lex on the cheek.  
  
"What show are we seeing?" he asked.  
  
"Angels in America."  
  
Clark turned to Lex. "A fluffy musical?"  
  
"Hardly." Lex winked, but refused to say anymore.

**********

Dinner was interesting to say the least. For some reason, Lex had selected a restaurant that specialized in Russian cuisine, and Clark found himself faced with a line of portions he couldn't even pronounce. But he was a good sport, and he was so hungry that he didn't let himself be intimidated.  
  
But as he and Lex were on their way back to the penthouse, what really stayed with Clark was the show.  
  
"Angels in America," he whispered to himself over and over. "Angels. Angels in America."  
  
After watching such a powerful story acted out in front of him, even the title seemed profound. He had cried several times during the show and now could feel the dried tears on his cheeks as he pondered the meaning. But the only thing he could decipher was the loneliness.  
  
Every character in the play suffered with some form of unimaginable loneliness, an obstacle so huge that they were convinced they wouldn't make it through. But they all kept trying. Clark decided that was what made it so powerful. No matter how bad it got, they were all still trying with all of their might to achieve something good, something real.  
  
Then there was the fact that all of this bone-chilling realism was a backdrop to something magical, to the imminent arrival of a Heavenly Angel in New York. It was all so beautiful in its tragedy, each flaw perfectly placed, and it reminded Clark so much of his own life. Not that he or any of his friends had it as bad as the characters in the play, though most of them had at one point or another, and yet they all kept fighting. With their last breath they would be fighting to make things right. Clark knew this was true of everyone he loved, including himself.  
  
But that didn't scratch out the loneliness. Despite all of Lex's love and all the people that cared about him, the sense of penetrating isolation never really left him, and Angels in America really drove that home. There were some things that only he would ever really understand. And there were aspects of himself that he didn't even know about, that he feared and despised with every ounce of his conscience.  
  
Was it possible that whatever was trying to emerge could cause him to lash out and hurt the ones he loved? All of the chaos and confusion that lead to the coming of the Angel in the production could just as easily have been caused _by_ the coming of the Angel. Perhaps the sense of something unnatural, some superhuman presence had caused all the characters to act the way they did, to be caught up in a mixture of unfortunate circumstances and unwise decisions. What if the coming of Clark's unnatural side hurt somebody? What if his superhuman nature caused some kind of disturbance in the natural flow of things and the world started to fall apart around him?  
  
"It's only a story, Clark," Lex said, knowing exactly what Clark was thinking.  
  
"I know. But it's just so close to everything that's going on right now."  
  
"I'm sorry. I should have thought before I got the tickets. I just figured…"  
  
"No, Lex, it's okay. I really enjoyed it. It was just kind of sad."

Lex smiled softly and ran his fingers through Clark's hair. Clark half-expected another of Lex's infamous lessons, this one on the fact that not all stories need to be happy to be worth hearing, and that even in the form of tragedy, art is still art. Blessedly, though, Lex kept his silence. But for Clark, it wasn't so easy.

"What if--"

"Don't," Lex cut him off before he could even begin.

"But, Lex, I--"

"Don't," he repeated, a little more sternly.

Clark sat for a few moments in silence, allowing a complete thought to form in his head. "I don't want to hurt anybody," he finally said quietly.

Lex kissed him in response. "You won't hurt anybody. Clark, it was just a work of fiction."

"But my life isn't, Lex. I'm just like that Angel. Yes, I'm powerful and most people would assume that I was sent here for some noble cause, but nobody knows for sure. There is a darkness in me that I don't even dare to think about, and what if it gets loose? What if I lose myself like I did before, and never come back this time?"

"Clark, do you trust me?"

"You know I do, but--"

"But nothing. I will keep you safe. And you will keep everyone else safe because that's who you are."

Clark went on, his voice beginning to shake. "But what then? We go on living our happy life together in secret?" Lex lowered his eyes, stricken. "Lex, this has been the happiest day I can remember. I have never felt so fulfilled and so loved and I can't tell anyone!"

"Why is telling everyone so damn important to you?" Lex shot back, beginning to lose his cool.

"Because I hate sneaking around! It's like we're giving in to the negative perceptions, like we know how dirty our relationship is and we're ashamed of it!"

Lex pulled back slightly. "Are you ashamed, Clark?"

"No!" he screamed. Then he quickly lowered his voice. "No. I want more than anything to be able to touch you in public, to show people how in love we are and how beautiful it is. I want to show you off, Lex. I want to show everyone what a perfect boyfriend I have and how much he means to me. But just like everything else in my life, I have to keep it a secret. I have to lie to complete strangers, best friends, and now even my own father. I... I just..."

Clark broke off into a series of ragged sobs. He turned his back to Lex and leaned his head against the window, letting his tears fall into his lap. Lex remained where he was, too hurt to say anything for a long time. He knew what Clark was feeling, but he hadn't realized how bad it was. For Lex, keeping his personal relationships a secret was second nature. He had been raised to keep his private life out of the public eye, and this was just one more exercise in that discipline. 

He hadn't realized how much it was hurting Clark. 

When he finally felt calm enough, he put his hand on Clark's shoulder and pulled lightly. Clark was only too willing to turn around and melt into his arms, and Lex felt his heart break at his innocence.

"I have another surprise for you," Lex whispered into his hair.

Clark shook his head. "Lex, not now."

"It needs to be now. I think you'll really appreciate this one."

Clark sat up and looked into Lex's eyes expectantly. Swallowing back his sadness, Lex wiped the tears from Clark's face and then reached into his pocket, producing a small box. He handed it over, and Clark opened it without ceremony, clearly too exhausted to feign excitement. Inside he found a small gold ring imbedded with a circular gem of brilliant blue-grey. The color of Lex's eyes. He looked up at Lex, too touched to speak.

"I know it's not exactly a coming out party," Lex said. "But you can wear it in public, kind of as a way to show people that someone loves you. It's big enough to fit on your middle finger. I thought the ring finger would be a little too obvious."

The ring shone in Clark's grasp and he shifted his gaze from the jewel to Lex's eyes. Lex nodded.

"I did that on purpose. So that even when we're apart, you'll have a part of me with you."

As a fresh stream of tears flowed onto Clark's cheeks, he slipped the ring onto his finger and nearly jumped on Lex, embracing him tightly. "We'll never be apart," he said, crying happily. "We'll never be apart."

Lex returned the embrace, unable to do anything but cry softly into Clark's shoulder.

__

We'll never be apart, he thought miserably. _If only that were true._


	12. Collapse Part 1

Title: Collapse - Part 1

Series: Part 12

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Spoilers: None.

Warnings: Strong sexuality and graphic sexual dialogue.

**********

Putting a few finishing touches on her makeup before Lana's party at the Talon, Chloe thought about all the drastic changes in her life over the past few years. She couldn't quite decide if the changes were good or bad. Not that she was unhappy with the direction her life had taken, quite the opposite, but it always seemed like good things came at the cost of other good things. She wouldn't give up her internship at the Daily Planet for the world, and she was thrilled that Pete was becoming interested in her.

But she missed the innocent days. The days when she, Clark, and Pete were the Three Musketeers, when they were just three friends who could tell each other anything. The days before those pesky hormones were thrown into the mix, knocking everything completely off balance. The days before Phelan got involved in Clark's life and Clark was subsequently plucked from Smallville for such a long time.

The days before Lex.

Chloe looked at the photograph standing in the corner of her dressing table mirror. It was a picture of herself, Clark, and Pete on their first day of high school. She was standing in the middle of the two boys with her arms around both and they all had genuinely happy smiles on their faces. She tried not to think it, but somewhere in the edges of consciousness, there was always the nagging idea that things would have stayed that way if Lex Luthor had never come to town.

Sure, Clark may still have killed Phelan. But then Mrs. Kent panicked and Lex happened to be in the right place at the right time to go along with her plan. If only Lex hadn't been there, if only millionaire, power-strutting, private jet owning Lex Luthor hadn't been standing in the doorway of Kent Farms when Clark made the biggest mistake of his life, just maybe Mrs. Kent would have called the police instead. They could have pleaded self-defense and gotten Clark off the hook.

But it just didn't happen that way. And everything changed after that. Chloe and Pete continued to be close friends, but it was different, more formal. They both had a hard time letting themselves go after Clark left, feeling it wouldn't be right to have a good time when Clark was off somewhere suffering. Then there was the added difficulty of Chloe's developing body. As soon as she started to blossom, Pete had an even harder time talking to her as just a friend. And being short a male best buddy to ask for advice, Pete became more and more distant, only hanging out with Chloe when it was her idea, only coming around to the Torch when it was absolutely necessary.

But Clark returned. He didn't look much different and he still had that killer smile and Chloe was ready to pick up where they left off, the problem being that Clark became even more detached than Pete. That is until some time in July.

Chloe hadn't even noticed the change herself until Lana pointed it out in the Talon. Chloe had been pretty busy driving back and forth to Metropolis twice a week, and the few times that she did call Clark, he was either at school or just "out." Up until Lana voiced her own concerns, Chloe had figured that "out" was Mrs. Kent's diplomatic way of saying that he was with Lana, not that it made much difference to Chloe these days. A year and a half of not seeing a person is a pretty good way to get over a crush that wasn't even that big to begin with. She purged her feelings for Clark long before he came home.

Lana, however, didn't seem to be having much luck with Clark herself, and that was what led Chloe to show up at Clark's house about a week after the day in the Talon. By some stroke of luck, he was actually home, taking a nap in the loft with a rather suggestive smile dancing across his lips.

**********

Chloe sat down on the couch next to Clark causing him to stir and then slowly open his eyes, the goofy smile never leaving his face. He tilted his head to the side, realizing that he wasn't alone.  
  
"Oh hey, Chloe."  
  
"Dreaming about Lana?" Chloe asked, knowing for a fact that he hadn't been.  
  
Clark's brow furrowed for a brief moment. "I, uh, don't remember." He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face, yawning deeply. "What's up?"  
  
"I was going to ask you the same thing."  
  
He moved his legs to the floor, giving Chloe some more room on the couch next to him and continued to look at her blankly.  
  
_Some things never change_, she thought.  
  
"I haven't talked to you in a while," she went on. "I just wanted to know how things are going."  
  
"Fine," Clark said as he started playing with a stray thread from the quilt on the back of the couch.  
  
Chloe sighed in mock annoyance. "You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?"  
  
Clark's eyebrows raised innocently. "Make what easy?"  
  
Chloe got to her feet and walked across the loft toward Clark's desk, facing away from him. She had no problem blurting out the reason for her questions, but it still seemed easier if she wasn't making direct eye contact.  
  
"I know you've found someone, Clark, and frankly I'm a little hurt that you haven't shared the details. So spill. Who's the lucky girl? And don't say Lana, because I know it isn't her."  
  
She took a deep breath, preparing herself to hear his answer. She truly believed she didn't have feelings for him anymore, but this was old and familiar territory. She needed to tread carefully. As close as Chloe and Clark had been, she always seemed to be out of the loop in terms of his love   
life, and that hurt. Not because she loved him, but because she thought that as a friend she deserved to know. She always felt so foolish when she found out people were keeping things from her, like her training in journalism should have helped her figure out the truth sooner, or even more hurtful, that people just didn't trust her.  
  
After a long moment of these thoughts, she realized that Clark hadn't answered. In fact, he was deathly silent. She turned around slowly, almost expecting to find the couch empty. But Clark was still there, though he obviously wished he wasn't. His shoulders were slumped, his toes were   
turned in toward each other, and the expression on his face was one of pure defeat.  
  
"Clark?" Chloe came closer. "What is it?"  
  
Clark remained silent for a long time, almost like he was weighing his options. Chloe squeezed her legs together, resisting the urge to push, knowing it would only make him retreat. After a long pause, Clark spoke very softly.  
  
"Why does everyone have to assume…" He trailed off.  
  
Chloe sat next to him on the couch, the temptation to touch him overwhelming. There was nothing quite as painful as the sight of Clark in silent torment and she wanted more than anything to make it better. But she didn't know the boundaries anymore. Everything was different now and she decided to keep her hands to herself until she knew if her comfort was welcome.  
  
"Assume what, Clark?" she asked gently.  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly. "It's not a girl," he whispered, immediately getting up from the couch and taking his turn at the desk.  
  
"Okay," Chloe replied apologetically, still not quite understanding. "I've been noticing the changes in you lately and I just figured you were seeing somebody. But if I was wrong…"  
  
"I am seeing somebody," Clark stated.  
  
"But you just said—"  
  
"I just said it's not a girl."  
  
Chloe's mouth hung open as the pieces started coming together. "It's not a girl," she repeated slowly. Clark turned around and looked into her eyes as if to affirm her statement. Chloe looked back at him for a moment before attempting to stutter her next question. "Wh-who—"  
  
Clark cut her off with a sharp sigh, folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"Right," she nodded. "Of course. It's Lex. Why didn't I see it coming a mile away?"  
  
She got up from the couch and headed for the stairs, but Clark stopped her.  
  
"Chloe, wait. Talk to me."  
  
"What do you want me to say, Clark? That I'm happy for you?"  
  
"Well… yeah."  
  
An ironic laugh escaped Chloe's throat as her own eyes started to burn. "Well, congratulations then. I'm happy that you're happy. And I'm happy that you've been keeping things from me, and I'm happy that you're getting in way over your head."  
  
"Chloe, that's not fair."  
  
"Isn't it, Clark? I thought friends are supposed to trust each other."  
  
"I do trust you!"  
  
"So why is it that I'm always the last one to know? Tell me, Clark, who got to hear the dirt before I did? Pete? Lana? The Smallville Ledger?  
  
"Nobody heard about it, Chloe, because you're the first person who actually cared enough to ask!"  
  
Clark's chin trembled and he turned away from her again. She remained where she was for a moment, feeling like the most selfish person who ever lived. Once she regained her ability to speak, she went to Clark's side, placing her hand on his shoulder lightly.  
  
"Clark, I'm sorry…"  
  
"No, I'm sorry. I know that this is a big deal and I've wanted to tell you every day since it started. I was just so scared."  
  
"Scared of what? That I'd be grossed out? That I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore? Please, Clark, I can think of a lot worse things than a same sex relationship."  
  
The end of her sentence had a hint of laughter in it and Clark started to smile as Chloe kept her hand on his shoulder. He finally turned around and hugged her tightly.  
  
"Thank you, Chloe."

She remained in his embrace as long as she could before she started becoming dizzy. "Clark," she croaked. "Can't... breathe..."

"Oh!" Clark quickly let her go, laughing apologetically as he held her by the shoulders to make sure she was okay. She nodded, indicating that she was fine. Then she took his hand and led him back to the couch.

"So talk to me. I want to hear it all." _And make sure you're not being taken advantage of, _she added silently.

"Gosh, Chloe, I don't even know where to begin," Clark said with a wistful smile. "There's so much I've wanted to say, and now that I finally have someone to talk to I'm drawing a blank."

Chloe put a reassuring hand on Clark's arm. "Start with when you first got back. I could have sworn I sensed some weird vibes every time someone mentioned Lex's name around you. And I don't mean lovey-dovey weird."

Clark's smile dropped like a wet towel as he nodded his head sadly. "I was really angry with Lex for a while there."

"But... he saved your life."

"I know. But there was so much I didn't understand. I guess when I found out how much time had passed, I lashed out and held Lex responsible."

Chloe squinted one eye. "What do you mean 'when you found out?'"

An ephemeral expression of panic fluttered across Clark's face, but it was gone so quickly that Chloe wasn't sure she had actually seen it. "Well-- I mean I was gone for so long, that whenever I thought about it, it was _like _finding out for the first time."

She look at him steadily, noting his inability to look back as his fingers resumed their nervous dance along the quilt. Again Chloe reminded herself that pushing Clark was the worst thing she could do, but she would be damned if she would sit there and pretend she didn't know he was lying. "Hmm," was her simple reply.

"Anyway," Clark sputtered on, "we're over that now."

"So it would seem. What made you finally soften up?"

For the second time, the sadness arose in Clark's eyes, but this time accompanied by a strong sense of love and pride. "When I found out how much he cared about me, how far he was willing to go to protect me. Chloe, he called on one of his father's men to get the murder charges dropped."

Chloe shrugged her shoulders. "So? If I had his connections, I'd make use of them for the sake of a friend too."

"You don't understand. He went behind his father's back to do it." Chloe was still nonplussed. "Lionel has this complex about people sneaking around, especially people that are close to him. He wants to make sure everyone knows that he'll always find out."

"And he found out about Lex," Chloe said.

"Yeah," Clark agreed, his voice becoming softer. "And he had Lex beaten up."

Chloe blinked, startled at the revelation. She always knew that Lex cared about Clark, but to do something so brave, so selfless... 

"Was it... bad?" she asked.

Clark nodded. "Lex has taken his fair share of abuse in this town, but I've never seen him like that. It was awful," he finished in a whisper.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Clark immersed in the memory, Chloe letting the new information sink in. She was the next one to speak.

"So that was it? You apologized and told him you were in love?"

"Not quite," Clark said, chuckling a little. "We had a few ups and downs after that. There were a few things to work through, like the fact that I didn't even realize I was in love until my mom told me."

"Your parents know?!" Chloe nearly leaped.

"Sssh!" Clark turned around to see if his dad was anywhere in sight. "Keep it down. My mom knows, yeah. We're still waiting for the right time to break it to my dad."

"Break it to him, huh? You make it sound like someone is dying."

"Someone might as well be, in my dad's eyes," Clark said, lowering his head.

"No, Clark, don't say that. You know, my cousin is gay, and he went through the same thing. His mom knew months before his father."

"How did his father take it?"

"It was rough, but they got through it. Last I heard, his father had actually started inviting my cousin's boyfriend over to dinner."

Clark sighed. "Knowing my dad, I'll be lucky if he doesn't get a restraining order on Lex. Or worse."

"Clark..." Chloe said pointedly. "I don't want to hear anymore of that negativity. Everything is going to be fine. And I think it's good that you're letting everyone know one at a time, breaking the town in, so to speak." A sudden hint of mischief sparked in Chloe's eyes. "Although, the Back-to-School Bash at the Talon is just a week away. Maybe we could turn it into a Coming Out Party."

"Don't even go there, Chloe" Clark warned

"Come on, I'm sure Lana wouldn't mind."

"All right, that's it." Clark took one of the cushions from the couch and bopped Chloe in the face.

"Hey!" Chloe said, laughing. "It was just a friendly suggestion!" She grabbed the cushion from Clark's grip and returned the blow.

They both collapsed into a fit of giggles and by the time they were calming down, they both had tears in their eyes. Eventually, their breathing returned to normal and Chloe squeezed Clark's hand.

"Man, I haven't laughed like that in... This is nice, Clark. Thank you for letting me in."

"Thank you for making me," Clark replied, earning a dirty look. "No, really. I'm glad I have someone to talk to. So what do you say? Can we start being best friends again?"

Clark stuck out his hand to shake on it. Chloe placed her smaller hand in his and smiled.

"We never stopped, Clark."  
  
**********  
  
After that, Clark had spoken more about his relationship with Lex. Nothing really specific, just his feelings in general. Chloe had never seen him so happy. She tried to be happy for him and she was pretty sure he believed that she was.  
  
But she was worried. Lex had so much more life experience than Clark and she wasn't sure she trusted the situation. Even if Lex really did love Clark, how could she be sure he wouldn't hurt him anyway? You could just never tell with the Luthors. And despite how happy Clark was, she could feel him changing, as though he were outgrowing his life in Smallville. Not that she could blame that entirely on Lex.  
  
But she decided the moment she left the hayloft that she was going to be keeping a very close eye on them both, starting with the party. Just then the doorbell rang.  
  
"I got it, Dad!" she called out as she jogged through the hallway and down the stairs to the front door. It was Pete.  
  
"Ready?" He smiled brightly at her.  
  
"Absolutely."

**********

Martha was coming down the stairs when she heard the screen door shutting in the kitchen. 

"Finally," she called into the other room. "I thought you'd never finish up out there."

She turned the corner and stopped short as she saw Jonathan wiping his hands on a dish towel, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, and his arms and T-shirt completely covered in grease. He looked at her innocently, as though he didn't comprehend the look on her face.

"What?"

"You haven't even showered! We're going to be late for the party!"

"I'm not going," Jonathan said casually as he brushed past his wife and opened the fridge.

"What do you mean you're not going? We promised Clark and Lana we would chaperone." 

"I'm sure there'll be plenty of chaperones without me. I need to go to the hardware store anyway, get a part for the motorcycle."

He grabbed a carton of orange juice and took a long swig from it. Annoyed, Martha went to the cupboard and took out a glass. She held it out to Jonathan and he shook his head.

"Carton's almost empty. I'll just finish it off."

Before he could do so, Martha swiped the carton out of his hand and slammed it down on the counter. Jonathan turned his head with a start.

"A part for the motorcycle?" Martha asked quietly. "You mean the motorcycle you haven't driven in months?"

"Now, Martha, you know I've been meaning to--"

"Tonight of all nights? Right now? Jonathan, what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on."

He turned away from her, but she grabbed his arm tightly, digging her nails into his skin just enough to get his attention.

"Something is going on and you're not leaving this room until you tell me what it is. You've been cold and withdrawn, you haven't said much more than a few polite words to your son in over a week, and I want to know why."

Jonathan turned back to her, taking a deep breath as he thought of Clark and Lex in the loft together, Lex running his hands up and down Clark's body, kissing him, whispering his name. And the look on Clark's face, the look of pleasure, of need... 

Jonathan held back a shudder. 

"Look, sweetheart, I just think my presence isn't really necessary at this party. Clark and Lana have already arranged everything, there will be no shortage of responsible adults, and I really don't feel like rubbing elbows with Lex Luthor if I don't have to."

Martha closed her eyes as she exhaled sharply and Jonathan immediately wished he could take that last part back.

"Now we're getting to it," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait, that didn't come out the way I--"

"No, I think that came out exactly the way you meant. Jonathan, when are you going to get over this?"

"There is nothing to get over," Jonathan blurted. "I just think we should be more careful."

Martha let out an exasperated laugh. "More careful? If Lex were going to hurt us, don't you think he would have done it by now? He knows everything there is to know about our family and he hasn't used it against us once. Why do you insist on holding onto this grudge?"

"He's a manipulator, Martha, and I don't think we should have anything more to do with him."

"Well, that 'manipulator' saved our family! He brought our little boy back to us and he makes Clark happier than he's ever been!"

"Clark is confused!" Jonathan shouted back. "He doesn't know what he wants and Lex is playing on his vulnerability!"

"You don't know what you're saying..."

"I know exactly what I'm saying! And I know exactly what I saw!" Martha took a step back as her breath caught in her throat. "That's right," Jonathan said, lowering his voice. "Lex is trying to seduce Clark."

This time Martha turned away. "Lex is not trying to seduce Clark," she said softly.

"You weren't there, Martha," he said to the back of her head. "I watched it happen. I stood there and watched as Lex put his hands all over Clark. Kissing him, calling him his 'beautiful boy.'" Martha winced at the disgust in Jonathan's voice. "You want to know why I've been so quiet? Well, there it is. I've been lying awake every night trying to think of the best way to approach this situation but, God help me, my shotgun is looking like a pretty reasonable option right about now!"

"Damn it, Jonathan, they're in love!"

Shaking, Martha slowly turned to look at her husband. His face was a frightening shade of red as he took two dangerous steps closer.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard what I said," Martha forged ahead. "Lex is not taking advantage of Clark. They're in love."

Jonathan looked like he was ready to start breaking things, but he kept his voice calm. "Do you mean to tell me that you knew about this?"

"Jonathan, I wanted to tell you, but I knew that you would be angry. I--"

"You're damn right I'm angry!" Martha jumped at his violent outburst. "Clark and Lex are running around in some kind of twisted little affair under my nose, on _my _property, and you don't even have the decency to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"It's not twisted, Jonathan, it's perfectly normal!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I can honestly say I've never seen a farmer's son kissing another man."

"That's because we live in a small town. Yes, it seems odd in this environment, but in a place like Metropolis you see this kind of thing every day!"

Jonathan laughed cruelly. "Metropolis, huh? That figures. Somehow I knew your breeding couldn't stay hidden forever."

"Excuse me?" Martha asked slowly.

"You with your rich parents and your big city values. When I first started dating you, my mother told me to be careful. She warned me that people raised in the city were different from us, that they had a completely backwards set of morals."

"Oh, now your calling me immoral?"

"What I'm saying is that Smallville is my home and we do things differently here! Now, I don't much care what they're teaching their children in Metropolis, but in this town and in this house, we operate on a strict code of ideals and traditions, and I will be _damned_ if I let that slick son of a bitch turn my son into sniveling, limp-wristed sex toy!"

Before he even saw it coming, Martha slapped Jonathan across the face, stinging his skin so badly that his left eye began to water.

"_Our_ son is old enough to be making that decision on his own," she half-whispered, her voice quaking. "And if I ever hear you talk about Lex like that again..."

"You'll what?" Jonathan challenged, a tear running down his cheek.

Martha looked at him for a long time, her face burning.

"I have a party to go to," she finally said, grabbing her purse from the counter and walking toward the door. "Good luck with your bike."

The door slammed behind her causing the windows to rattle, leaving Jonathan standing alone in the middle of the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fists.

**********

Clark sat on the edge of Lex's bed, smiling brightly as Lex came out of the bathroom looking sophisticated, sexy... and entirely inappropriate.

"A suit, Lex?"

"A _leisure _suit," Lex corrected.

"But it's still a suit. It's too dressy. I told you the party will be casual."

"I'm part owner of the Talon, Clark, it wouldn't do for me to show up in jeans."

"Lana's part owner too, and she won't be dressed up."

"Lana is a high school student, she can get away with it. I have an image to protect. Besides, we need to be able to tell the guests and the chaperones apart."

Lex walked to the mirror above the dresser and began to adjust his collar. Clark came up behind him, softly wrapping his arms around Lex's middle.

"You're not a chaperone, Lex." He buried his face in Lex's neck, teasing the skin lightly with his tongue.

"Well, I'm not really a guest either. It's not like I'm going with a date," Lex muttered.

"You're going with me," Clark responded, smiling through his kisses as he felt the skin of Lex's face begin to heat up in reaction to his touch.

"I'm _riding _with you," Lex said breathily. "Not exactly the same thing."

"Then we'll just tell the driver to take the scenic route. Who knows what kind of trouble we could get into in the back of that limo, given enough time?"

Lex laughed, finally giving in to Clark's attention and leaning into the warm body behind him.

"Just imagine it," Clark went on, chewing on Lex's ear. "A stretch limo waiting at a red light at the intersection of 23rd and Main, all the passersby staring at the tinted windows, wondering who could be inside. And little would they know that not even 10 feet away from where they stand, you'd have me bent over the mini bar, fucking me like it was the end of the world."

"Oh, my God," Lex moaned as Clark's hands wandered down his stomach.

"You like that don't you?" Clark teased. "The idea of having me right there, with all those people around?"

"I sense you're not entirely against the idea, yourself, Clark. You're becoming quite the little exhibitionist."

"What can I say?" Clark pulled his lips away from Lex's neck with a smack and abruptly turned him around so they were face to face. "You just bring out the animal in me."

He attacked Lex's lips and they kissed intensely, breathing heavily and delving into each other's mouths. Lex stuck his tongue in as far as it would go, and Clark's lips clamped down on it, harshly sucking it one minute, gently caressing it the next.

Lex wrapped his arms tightly around Clark's neck, and Clark reached down around the back of Lex's legs, lifting him easily into the air. Lex snaked his legs around the boy's thick waist and let himself be carried back to the bed where he was laid softly on his back as Clark climbed on top.

"I want you," Clark whispered at his ear as his pelvis ground into Lex. "I want you in front of everybody in this town."

"No," Lex said almost viciously, tightening the grip of his legs as he bit Clark's bottom lip. "No audience. I want you all to myself."

"Well, they wouldn't be allowed to participate," Clark chuckled softly. He pushed into Lex's groin harder and his breathing sped up. "But why deprive them of a good show?"

Lex's heart pounded. He was uncomfortable with where this was going, but at the moment he was having a hard time with the English language. He felt like he was being crushed by the weight on top of him, though not unpleasantly, and Clark's hot breath against his ear was unrelenting in its ability to arouse. "Clark, stop it," he finally blurted.

"Hey, I'm just getting started." Clark bit Lex's neck, eliciting a sharp gasp. "If we're good enough we could start charging admission, even take our show on the road."

"Don't!" Lex said through clenched teeth, his anger growing even as his climax neared.

"Why not?" There was a hint of desperation in Clark's voice. "Don't you want to show everybody all the things I let you do to me? Don't you want them to hear me moan when you're coming inside me?"

The thought turned Lex on to no end, and he hated himself for it. "No!"

"Why the fuck not?" Clark shouted. "You've got a good thing here, Lex. Why not share it?"

"Because you're mine!" Lex shouted back.

"Then show me," Clark challenged, making eye contact. "Show me tonight. I want you to take me on the floor of the Talon."

"All of your friends will be there," Lex whispered, never breaking rhythm.

"Uh-huh," was all Clark could manage, the thought obviously turning him on.

"Not to mention everyone else from school. The cheerleaders, the jocks..."

"Yeah..." Clark's eyes closed, imagining. 

Lex was desperate to put a stop to this. "Your parents, Clark. Do you want your mom and dad to see you like this?"

"Ah..." he gasped, only wanting more.

"And Lana."

"Ah, Lex!"

Clark cried out as both of their bodies began to spasm. He rode out his climax in a jerky rhythm, never ceasing his deafening cries until he was empty. Lex, on the other hand, was completely silent as his body shuddered and finally began to calm down, and with the departure of his sex drive, an aching sadness seeped into his heart. 

In some distant corner of Clark's mind, he realized he'd have to change his underwear before he left. Maybe he could borrow a pair of Lex's silk boxers. As the thought of the smooth material rubbing against him threatened to throw him back into another tailspin of lust, Clark felt pressure on his chest as Lex pushed at him lightly.

"Get up," Lex said.

"Mnh-mnh," Clark said lazily.

"Get up, Clark."

He opened his eyes to see Lex staring at him coldly, and in a sudden panic he got to his feet. "What is it, Lex? Did I do something?"

Without responding, Lex crossed to the dresser and pulled out a pair of nondescript white briefs. He tossed them at Clark who was more than a little disappointed at the lack of color and sex appeal.

"Lex, what's the matter?" 

"You'll be late for the party. You don't want to keep your date waiting." Lex's inflection of the word 'date' made it sound like he had just uttered something obscene, and Clark suddenly understood.

"Look, I told you Lana asked me. She was so excited about the party that I didn't have the heart to say no. If she hadn't come to me so early, you know I would have taken you."

"Would you, Clark?" Lex asked with a bitter smile. Clark didn't respond, averting his eyes as they filled with guilt. "No, you wouldn't," Lex went on. "Because we have to keep our situation a secret."

Clark winced at the shock of having his own words thrown back in his face like that. Words that he had confided in Lex in a moment of pain and frustration. He decided to take a page from Lex's book and try for once to be the sensible one. "People wouldn't understand, Lex. We don't see many unconventional relationships around here." 

"Oh, I see. They wouldn't understand our relationship, but watching us fuck in the middle of a coffee shop is perfectly acceptable."

Clark flinched. Here he was, still feeling the warm glow of his post-orgasm stupor, and Lex was attacking him with something he had said in the heat of the moment. Humiliation just didn't seem like a strong enough word for what he felt.

"I didn't mean that, Lex," he finally managed. "And it's not like you're about to shout our love from the rooftops either."

"No, I'm not. But for completely different reasons." Clark raised his eyebrows, urging Lex to continue. "Clark, I care about you. I don't want to cause problems for you with your family or at school. And even more importantly, I don't want my father on your case."

"Oh, and don't forget that image you're trying to protect," Clark added piercingly.

Lex looked at Clark, true hurt finally beginning to show on his face. Clark immediately felt bad for the comment, and at the same time a little satisfied, knowing that he had scored a point. Suddenly, Lex crossed the room and took Clark's face in his hands, pushing a kiss onto his lips with enough force to send Clark stumbling back a few steps. When Lex broke away, Clark was breathless.

"_Fuck _my image," Lex said quietly, still holding Clark's face. "I would give up my social status, my company, my own life if it meant keeping you safe. If you think my reasons for concealing our relationship are selfish, I'm here to tell you they are anything but."

Tears welled up in Clark's eyes. He wanted more than anything to collapse into his lover's arms and apologize a million times for his harsh words. But he wasn't ready to let this go yet.

"So you're saying my reasons are selfish?" he whispered.

"I guess I can't really blame you," Lex said, turning away as his voice regained some of its cool edge. "After all, we must look ridiculous together."

Clark felt a gripping pain settle over his heart. "What?" he asked, unbelieving.

"We're polar opposites, Clark. Not only in our looks, but our personalities. I can see why you wouldn't want Lana to find out about us." Lex stopped long enough to look at Clark, gauging the effect of his words, trying to glean Clark's true feelings on the subject. Clark merely looked lost. "I mean the fact that we got together at all is comical in itself. We're like an angst-ridden version of the Odd Couple for Christ's sake."

"I love you..." Clark attempted, shining eyes focused at Lex's feet.

"But you don't want to close the door on Lana," Lex finished.

Clark nearly fell onto the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands as he took several sharp breaths, more confused than anything else. Lex felt the same smothering sensation in his chest, but he didn't give in to it.

"You'd better go, Clark. She's waiting for you."

"I thought I was riding with you," Clark mumbled into his hands, his voice cracking.

He heard the jingle of metal as Lex took a set of keys out of his pocket and held them in front of Clark's face. "Take the Porsche. I don't want to get in the way."

Clark finally uncovered his face, revealing tear-stained cheeks. His large watery eyes pleaded with Lex, but to no avail. Lex jiggled the keys one last time and Clark reluctantly accepted them. He stood up and headed for the door, but quickly turned around and grabbed Lex fiercely, forcing a kiss of his own onto his lover. Lex gave in willingly, knowing he couldn't fight if he wanted to as Clark's tongue searched his mouth, attempting to mark every surface as his own. 

"I know what I want, Lex," Clark said breathlessly, kissing Lex again. "And I know what you're trying to do, but it isn't necessary. I'm mature enough to make my own decisions." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring Lex gave him. It hadn't left his side since that day in Metropolis, and now he made a production of putting it onto his middle finger before Lex's eyes.

"Do you see this?" he said heatedly. "This means I'm taken. It means that we're part of each other no matter how many hurtful things you say to me." 

Lex blinked his eyes regretfully. "You deserve so much better..."

"There is nothing better, Lex, because you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect lover, and there is nobody else in this world that I'd rather be with. So quit trying to push me away because you think I'd rather have a 'normal' life."

"Clark, I'm hurting you! You shouldn't have to feel so alone, like you can't share your happiness with the people you love." Lex's breath hitched before he went on. "And you shouldn't be having fantasies about making love with me in front of everyone."

"But they're just fantasies!"

"And it only goes to show how you really feel. Clark, the reason it turns you on so much is because you're getting off on the dirtiness of it. And it feels dirty because deep down you're ashamed of what we do together."

"I'm not ashamed of anything, I love you!" Clark grabbed Lex tightly by the shoulders. "Yes, the idea of public sex turns me on, but not because it's dirty. It turns me on because it represents the idea of showing everyone how much you mean to me. What we have is beautiful, Lex, and I'm just tired of keeping it secret."

Lex started to respond, but Clark cut him off with another passionate kiss to emphasize his point. At last, Lex put a gentle finger on Clark's lips. "You have so little experience with love. Not all relationships are this difficult. There may be someone out there who you can be proud to have by your side." 

"Like Lana?" Clark asked incredulously.

"Maybe."

"But I'm proud of _you._ And what we share is worth all the difficulty in the world."

"You haven't even had a chance to look around, and I can only show you so much. You have to find out for yourself what you want. Believe me when I say that missed opportunities will haunt you for the rest of your life."

Clark looked at Lex for a long time, shaking his head. Then gripped the keys tightly in his right hand as he picked up the underwear with his left. "I'll go," he said quietly. "But I'm doing it for your peace of mind. Nothing will change between us, I swear."

Without giving Lex a chance to respond, he kissed his lover one more time and sped from the room with a blur of color and a gust of wind. Still able to taste Clark on his lips, Lex walked to his bed and positioned himself carefully on the edge. He took a few deep breaths, feeling the growing lump in his throat, and trying desperately to make it go away. He felt like a drunk man kneeling over a toilet about to throw up, and still holding on to the irrational hope that the nausea would just cure itself.

__

You have cried enough over Clark Kent. Just stop it.

He curled his fingers into the sheets beneath him and closed his eyes so tightly that he saw stars, and just as he began to think he was succeeding, there was a soft knock at the door.

"Clark, just go," he spat through clenched teeth.

"It's not Clark."

Lex opened his eyes as Kate peeked into the room. Upon seeing his bloodshot eyes and his strained posture, she immediately came into the room and sat down next to him, pulling him into her arms. Lacking the strength to fight it any longer, Lex let his head fall onto her shoulder and began to weep.

Somewhere amid the soft hand caressing his face and the warm words of comfort, Lex began to calm down. He lifted his head from Kate's shoulder and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his eyes. Kate's hand never left the back of his neck.

"I'm an idiot," he said shakily.

"What did you do?" Kate responded, without an ounce of judgment in her voice.

"I tried to push Clark into Lana's arms. The same way I push away everyone I love."

"Lex, you know he loves you. Why would you do that?"

Lex smiled sadly. "I guess I'm just afraid he doesn't really love me. I saved his life. Maybe he just feels so indebted to me that he's blinded to his true feelings. He's so young..."

"Lex..."

"And there's so much he hasn't had a chance to explore, so much that he can't explore if he's tied down to me."

"Lex--"

"So if he's going to break my heart I'd rather it be on my terms--"

"Stop!" Kate took Lex's hand firmly in her own. "First of all, your relationship with Clark isn't one of your business deals, so stop talking about it like one." Lex lowered his eyes. "And second, after all that boy has been through, he is anything but young. He is perfectly capable of making his own decisions, and he chose you. Don't you understand, Lex? Clark knows there is a whole world of possibilities out there. He knows the way Lana feels about him, and he is still by your side, choosing _you _every day of his life. Doesn't that count for anything?"

Lex's eyes widened as he looked at Kate, as if understanding her words for the first time. "Why do you put up with me?"

"Oh come on, Lex."

"No, I mean it," Lex said, rising from the bed. "Why does anyone put up with me? I damage everything I touch, I treat Clark like an infant who needs his decisions made for him, and I don't even recognize a chance for true happiness when it's staring me in the face. I'm a selfish bastard and I honestly don't know why Clark hasn't left me already."

"Because you're not selfish at all, and Clark sees that."

Lex turned on his heel, looking at Kate questioningly.

"You think you're pushing Clark away out of self-preservation, but that's just not true. Your first instinct has always been to protect _him_, even at the cost of your own happiness. Do you honestly believe that giving Clark to Lana would save you from future heartache?"

Lex shook his head. "No."

"Of course it wouldn't. Because you're in love with him, and there wouldn't be a day that went by that your heart wasn't breaking. But if it meant Clark's happiness, you would do it in the blink of an eye, and that's what love is all about. You, Lex Luthor, are the most unselfish person I know, and Clark is lucky to have you."

A single tear fell from the corner of Lex's eye as Kate's words finally started to sink in. Kate rose from the bed and walked to his side, brushing the tear away with the back of her hand.

"Now, hurry up," she said softly. "If we leave now we'll still be fashionably late."

Lex laughed quietly. Then he put his arms around Kate in a fierce hug. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for being here."

"I'll always be here," she said, rubbing the top of his head lovingly. "I love you, Alexander."

Lex closed his eyes as the sensation filled him with the warmth of his happier childhood memories and a new strain of hope for the future. Things weren't exactly perfect. He and Clark had a lot of talking to do and none of it would be easy. But for the first time in his life, Lex dared to believe that he would be okay. With Clark at his side he could achieve anything. And after Kate's words of encouragement, he was finally starting to believe that he could be deserving of it, that with her motherly guidance, the darker aspects of his personality wouldn't take over.

Now he just hoped that Clark would let him apologize for all of the cruel things he had said. He thought of the love in Clark's eyes as he had put on Lex's ring, and took a nervous breath.

"Shall we?" He finally stepped out of Kate's arms.

"We shall," she replied, smiling as she linked her arm through his. "Come. An unforgettable evening awaits."

Together they went downstairs and out the door to the waiting limousine, having no idea just how dangerously unforgettable the evening would turn out to be.

****

To be continued...


	13. Collapse Part 2

Title: Collapse - Part 2

Series: Part 13

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Spoilers: Very mild spoilers for Pilot, Metamorphosis, and X-Ray.

A/N: This is a continuation of Collapse - Part 1. It takes place later the same night.

**********

"May I have this dance?" Pete looked hopefully into Chloe's eyes.  
  
"In a minute," she said distractedly.  
  
Pete followed her stare out onto the dance floor where he saw Clark and Lana beginning their second slow dance of the evening. The other guests had been timid about being the first ones on the floor, but following the example set by their host, they began to pair up and join in.  
  
The Talon was hardly recognizable. Balloons rose in bunches from every table and along the bar, and streamers hung down from the high ceiling, waving softly with the wind from the air conditioning. The lights were dimmed and there were lava lamps everywhere, casting a soft pink glow onto the dance floor. It was all topped off by a large disco ball hanging from the middle of the ceiling, sending little sparks of light chasing each other around the room. But despite all the decorations, Chloe only saw Clark and Lana, worry creasing her brow.  
  
"That's my boy," Pete said, smiling in Clark's direction. "I knew it was only a matter of time before those two got together."  
  
"Hmm," Chloe smiled as pleasantly as she could.  
  
She watched Clark closely and could tell that he was having a difficult time. He only made eye contact with Lana in shorts spurts, then quickly jerked his head away and looked around the room as if there were something more interesting going on elsewhere. Lana merely looked up into Clark's eyes sadly, clearly aware that Clark was uncomfortable. Chloe decided that she should make herself available in case Clark needed help.  
  
"You know, I think I'm ready for that dance now."  
  
"Great!" Pete put down the cup of punch he was working on and took Chloe by the hand, leading her only a few feet away from Clark and Lana.  
  
He immediately pulled her close and held her tight around the waist as they began to sway back and forth to the soft music. Chloe felt her heart speed up and she silently cursed the fact that she couldn't just enjoy her date with Pete. But Clark was one of her best friends too, and she was fairly certain he didn't realize how volatile his situation really was. She had to be there for him in case anything went wrong.  
  
As if on cue, Lana spoke. "Clark, is everything okay?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, everything is fine." Clark's eyes hit just about every spot in the room as he said this.  
  
"Are you sure? You seem kind of…" She trailed off.  
  
"Long day," Clark said with sadness in his voice. "Getting ready for the party and everything."  
  
_What is going on? _Chloe thought. _Why is Clark so upset?_  
  
"Well, if you need to talk…"  
  
Clark was quiet for a long time, seeming to ponder this. His eyes began to shine and he lowered his head as he spoke.  
  
"I had an argument with Lex earlier. It's no big deal."  
  
"Oh, no," Lana said, immediately concerned. "Well, what did you fight about? Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"No, we're fine. You know how stubborn he can be."  
  
Lana may not have noticed the heart breaking affection with which Clark spoke, but it was very obvious to Chloe, and she tightened her grip on Pete nervously, mentally yelling at Clark to shut up about Lex.  
  
"Believe me. I know," Lana said gently, pleased to finally have Clark speaking to her. "You should try co-owning a business with him. These days I don't feel that my work week is really complete unless Lex and I have had an argument about one thing or another."  
  
Clark laughed softly in agreement. "There's just no getting through to him. It's like he wrote the book on being right or something."  
  
"Exactly. And then when he is wrong, he'll just steer the conversation back to another point that we've already discussed. 'Well, I may be wrong about the furniture,'" Lana began, lowering her voice in an impersonation of Lex. "'But what about the lights? I was right about those, wasn't I?'"  
  
"Oh, you don't even know," Clark said, his voice gaining volume with each word. "He's done that to me several times within the same argument. This one time when we were eating breakfast—"  
  
With that, Chloe decided it was time to break in.  
  
"Hey, Lana!" She chirped shrilly. "This is some party!"  
  
"Thanks, Chloe," Lana replied graciously, if somewhat startled. "But I couldn't have pulled it together without all of you."  
  
"Well, that's what friends are for, right?"  
  
Lana smiled at Chloe, and as she was exchanging greetings with Pete, Chloe took the opportunity to glare pointedly at Clark.  
  
_What? _Clark mouthed.  
  
_Breakfast?! _Chloe mouthed back.  
  
Clark's face went white as he realized that he had almost slipped.  
  
_Thank you_, he worded silently.  
  
She gave him another look of warning and turned back to Pete.  
  
"I'm feeling a little flushed. How about some punch?"  
  
She took Pete by the hand and led him back to the punch bowl, scanning the room for any sign of Lex, but he was nowhere to be found. Picking up a small party napkin from the table, she wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. It was no secret that Clark was a loose canon, but Lex was completely unpredictable, and hearing that he and Clark had had an argument worried her even more. What if Lex came to the party on a rampage? There's no telling what he would do if he was angry enough. She only hoped that Clark's friendly demeanor was some indication that he and Lex had parted on civil terms.  
  
Chloe took a long swallow from the cup Pete handed to her, and she didn't notice as Martha stepped in from outside.  
  
Martha walked over to the chaperones' table and scribbled her first name onto a nametag they handed her. Quickly slapping it onto her chest, she looked around for Clark, relieved when she found him dancing with Lana, smiling and talking with her easily.  
  
Good. That meant that Jonathan hadn't gotten to him. Not yet, anyway. She grabbed the edge of the table nervously, wondering whether or not she should warn him, but decided against it. She had taken the truck so there was no way for Jonathan to leave the house, and Clark was obviously enjoying himself. Martha knew that a long, pain-staking family discussion wasn't far off, and she wanted to let Clark have one last night of fun before he had to confront his father. Turning to one of the other chaperones, she started up a friendly conversation, hoping to get her mind off things for the moment.  
  
Outside, the stretch limo pulled up to the curb. Lex remained completely still in the back seat, staring at his shoes as Kate stared at him.  
  
"This is the part where we go inside," she offered.  
  
He looked into her eyes, hoping to find some courage. "What if he won't listen to me?"  
  
"You said he promised that nothing had changed between you."  
  
"He did, but he could have changed his mind."  
  
"I don't buy it. Clark Kent doesn't seem like the type to make idle promises."  
  
Lex smiled. "He's not."  
  
"Then come on."  
  
Kate started to reach for the door, but Lex grabbed her arm, holding her back. "What is it?" she asked.

Lex looked at her for a long time before speaking. His eyes seemed to pierce her very soul as he gazed searchingly into her face. "You loved her, didn't you?" 

"What?" 

"My mother." 

Kate's lips tightened together as she nodded her head. "I loved her." 

Lex didn't say anything more, but averted his eyes as if he had brought up a painful subject. He didn't want to cause Kate any more heartache than she had already suffered. 

"She loved me, too," Kate said quietly. 

At this, Lex looked at Kate again. "She did?" 

"We spent three years together before he… before your father came into the picture. And even then, I knew her heart was still with me." 

Feeling like his heart was about to break, Lex took Kate's hands in his own. "Tell me about her." 

Kate shook her head. "You weren't so young you can't remember, Lex. You don't need me to tell you about her." 

"No, I mean when she was with you," Lex said, quickly wiping a tear. "I knew the motherly side that she showed me, and the devoted wife she played when my father was around. But I never knew her when… when she was happy." 

"_You_ made her happy, Lex, you know that!" 

"I know. I know she loved me, I just… I was her son. I filled a special place in her heart, but there's another place reserved for another kind of love. The kind she shared with you?" 

Kate sat for a long time without saying anything. Then she looked into Lex's eyes and recognition brightened her features. 

"You have her eyes," she said at last. "The very same icy-blue, like frozen water. But when she was happy, really happy and laughing, they were like fire. The same cool color, but there was so much passion behind them, and drive, like at any moment she could take to the sky. We used to laugh for hours together, usually after we had been crying. 

"Your mother would come to me after a fight with Lionel and I would try to talk her through it. Everything would always seem so hopeless at first. Lionel's power was so complete and there was nothing she could do to get away from it. But after a few hours of talking, suddenly it would all seem so ridiculous, so small in comparison to what we felt for each other, that we couldn't help but laugh. Do you remember your mother's laugh?" 

"Vaguely," Lex nodded. 

"There's nothing on this Earth I can even compare it to. Sometimes it was like bells, or other times it was like heavenly music. But even those don't do it justice. Lillian had a sound that was all her own. It was deep and powerful and feminine and delicate all at the same time. She would laugh until she had to hold her stomach and tears streamed down her face. And when we finally calmed down, I would kiss them away… I-I'm sorry." Kate blushed. 

"No," Lex said, smiling painfully. "Go on. How did you meet?" 

"Met U. We were both majoring in law so we had a lot of the same courses." 

"I remember her saying something about wanting to be a lawyer." 

"She would have been amazing. Anyway, with all of our classes together, we finally decided to become friends and help each other study. But the friend part came a lot easier than the studying," she laughed. "What was so funny was that other than our schooling, we had hardly anything in common. She liked classical music, I was into rock and roll. She liked old romantic movies and I couldn't stand anything made before 1970. But somehow it worked. No matter how many trivial disagreements we had, our personalities just clicked. We understood each other in a way that no one else could. That never left us, even after she married Lionel." 

"Why did she?" Lex asked almost inaudibly. 

"It's a long story," Kate sighed. "But the gist of it is that Lionel was introduced to Lillian by her mother who was one of Lionel's employees. Lillian was raised under the idea that she would marry into money someday, and as much as she loved me, she couldn't tell her mother no." 

"So you lost her." 

"For a while, yes. But we never fell out of love with each other and I think Lionel sensed that. He knew that Lillian was never really his and it infuriated him, but he didn't know how to fix it. It wasn't until your mother became pregnant with you that she finally initiated contact with me. 

"Your father didn't want to deal with her during the pregnancy. She no longer had the delicate figure he had married her for, and her moods were more volatile than he would have liked. So he spent as little time with her as possible and she started coming to see me at one of her houses she had given to me." Kate's eyes began to water again. "I spent all of that first day curled up against her stomach, keeping you both warm. I can even remember the first time you kicked. It woke us both up." 

They both laughed in spite of their sadness. "And I was by her side when you were born." 

"My father said he was there…" Lex started. "He lied, didn't he." 

Kate nodded. "He'll use any edge he can get." 

"What happened after that? I don't remember ever meeting you as a child." 

"We decided that was best. You were so young it would have confused you. And we were afraid of what would happen if you ever mentioned me to your father." 

"I wouldn't have! I would have understood, I wouldn't have said anything…" 

"Ssh," Kate soothed, squeezing Lex's hands. "What's done is done. Once your mother became ill, I rarely left her side as Lionel, once again, didn't want to be bothered with it. That's when she made me promise to take care of you. A promise that I'll never break." 

Overcome with emotion, Lex embraced her. "It really feels like she's here with me," he cried. "There's a part of her that will never leave you." 

"And you," Kate replied. She pulled a tissue from her purse and began to dry Lex's eyes. "Now we really have to go in. Your mother and I let fear get in the way of our love for each other, and I don't want the same thing to happen to you and Clark." 

Lex nodded. "I love you." 

"I love you, too. More than I can say." 

With a final hug, they stepped out of the limousine and onto the sidewalk. They could already hear the muffled base of the loud music blaring through the closed doors, vibrating the glass. As they stepped in, the sound surrounded them and they walked hand in hand toward the dance floor where they found Clark and Lana. They were dancing to the fast beat, clearly exaggerating their movements to look silly as Pete and Chloe did the same not far away. 

Lex looked to Kate nervously. "I'll wait till he's alone," he half-shouted. Kate put her mouth to Lex's ear. 

"He won't be alone until you make him that way." Nodding sheepishly, Lex forced himself across the floor to where Clark was dancing. 

Clark caught Lex's eyes before they were even close enough to speak and stopped dancing in mid step, holding his arms in the air in an awkward pose. As Clark finally lowered his arms, Lex kept walking until he was inches away from where Lana had also stopped dancing. Only Chloe noticed Martha in the background, watching her son with lines of worry deeply creasing her forehead. 

"Hello, Clark. Lana." 

"Hi," Clark replied quietly as Lana merely smiled. 

Turning to Lana, Lex said "Do you mind if I have a moment alone with Clark?" 

Looking extremely intimidated, and maybe just a little miffed, Lana was about to nod her head when Chloe stepped in front of Lex. 

"You know, Lex, we were just in the middle of a dance. Can't you talk to Clark later?" She tried to make her voice as calm as possible, worried that Lex might explode at any minute, but she could hear her own nervousness seeping through. 

Lex, however, was anything but angry, and he smiled at her kindly. "I hate to interrupt, but we really have to talk." He aimed the last part of the sentence at Clark, and Clark put a gentle hand on Chloe's shoulder. 

"It's okay, Chloe. I'll only be a minute." Lana watched as Clark and Chloe exchanged a series of glances that could have been mistaken for an actual conversation, and finally Chloe nodded in agreement. 

"We'll be here if you need us," she said. 

"I know." Clark started walking to the empty bar with Lex when Lana grabbed his arm. 

"Clark…" was all she could think of to say. 

"It's okay," he repeated. He gave her hand a squeeze and then followed Lex away. Lana turned back to Chloe with intense worry in her eyes. 

"What was that?" 

"They, uh, had a fight didn't they?" Chloe guessed. "At least that's what I thought Clark said." 

"He did, but… Something is really off. Chloe, we have to figure out what's going on." 

"Nothing is going on," Chloe said, a little too quickly. "I mean… friends fight. It's not a big deal. I'm sure Lex just wants to apologize and clear the air so that Clark can have a good night." 

"Clark _was_ having a good night until Luthor showed up," Pete piped. 

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Pete…" 

"No, I mean it! What is it with Clark and Lex anyway? It's like Lex has more power over Clark than his own parents do. It doesn't matter what's going on, like if Clark is in the middle of something, no matter how important it is, Lex can just walk in and drag him away like a piece of property." 

"You know, Pete's right," Lana began thoughtfully. 

"No, he's not!" Chloe said, forcing a laugh. "They're friends okay? Friends are there for each other. Why is that so hard to understand?" 

"Because Lex doesn't have friends," Pete shot back. "He only has people he can use." 

"I can't take anymore of this," Chloe said, pulling her hand roughly out of Pete's. "I have to go to the bathroom." Chloe stormed off to the ladies' room and Pete immediately trailed after her, issuing a string of apologies as he went. 

Lana remained where she stood with her arms folded tightly across her chest, watching Clark and Lex talk as they sat next to each other at the bar. She wasn't close enough to hear their conversation, but it looked extremely intense. Intimate. 

"I have to tell you how sorry I am…" 

"Lex, it's okay. I understand." 

"I know you do, but you deserve an explanation." 

Clark made a face as if to protest further, but held back, understanding that Lex needed to apologize. But Lex was having a harder time of it than he thought he would. He hadn't had a chance to rehearse any of the things he wanted to say, and he was suddenly drawing a blank. He felt horrible about their argument, and any attempt to explain his cruel words would sound too much like he was trying to justify them. Sensing his hesitation, Clark gripped Lex's hand under the bar and gave it a gentle squeeze. Lex looked into his eyes. 

"Did you know that Kate and my mother were in love?" Clark raised his eyebrows, startled. Then he shook his head. "They were. Even after my parents were married. They had their ups and downs like every couple does, especially when my father got involved. In fact, there was a time when they broke it off completely. My mother didn't have the strength to tell my father the truth and Kate was tired of the lies. You'll never believe what brought them back together." 

"What?" Clark asked quietly. 

"Me. When my mom got pregnant with me, Lionel couldn't give her the kind of emotional support she needed so she went back to Kate. They were together almost every day for most of the pregnancy." 

"No wonder Kate feels so much like a second mom to you," Clark said. 

Nodding, Lex continued. "I can't help but think of us. No matter how hard it gets or how tired we are of lying to everyone, we always find our way back to each other. Like maybe it's meant to be." 

"It is." 

"And like the idiot that I am, I keep trying to sabotage it." 

"Lex…" 

"I have never felt this way about anyone or anything before. When I look at you, I see the happy childhood that I should have had and the mother that didn't die and the loving father I've never met. You touch me and I can feel the warmth of these things just under the surface, like they really exist somewhere and they're just waiting for the right time to show themselves. Because when I'm with you I feel so complete and so perfectly fulfilled, that it seems impossible that it's all coming from one source. But it is. 

"That's why I tried to push you away. I wasn't raised with these kinds of emotions, I didn't even know they existed until now, and I keep falling into old habits." 

"Lex, it's okay." 

"No, it's not, Clark. I love you, and it's about time I started treating you like it. You deserve to be treasured, and I've done nothing but try to brush you under the rug." 

"Lex, that's not true. You treat me like a god." 

"It's not enough…" 

"Listen to me," Clark said, holding Lex's shoulders. "Do you honestly believe that I'm with you out of some sort of obligation or childish naivete? I love you too, Lex, and I couldn't change that if I wanted to. I knew you were special from the first time I met you. I knew that no matter what happened, you would always be a part of my life, that our destinies were bound together and we would always be connected. And I was right, wasn't I?" 

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." 

"I've hurt you too, Lex, it happens. Love is a scary thing." Clark took Lex's other hand and held them both in his lap. "But you can't tell me it's not worth it." 

Lex shook his head at Clark wonderingly. "You're wonderful, you know that? How did I ever find someone so perfect?" 

"You hit me with your car." 

Lex snorted and hit Clark lightly on the arm. Clark caught his hand and held onto it, suddenly very serious. "I love you," he whispered. 

"I love you," Lex said, as they simultaneously rose to their feet and embraced tightly. They held on for a long time, breathing each other in, and they were both completely oblivious to the sound of a sputtering motorcycle engine outside. Clark became dimly aware of startled gasps among the people at the party, but he ignored it. One minute all he knew was love and happiness and Lex, and the next… 

"Get your hands off my son, you sick bastard!" 

Clark felt Lex violently jerked away from him and looked around in a panic, his eyes finally landing on his father. 

"Dad…" 

"Do you think it's okay?!" Jonathan spat at Lex, momentarily ignoring Clark. "Do you think because you live in a castle and swim in money that you can just take advantage of a young boy?!" 

"Dad, stop it!" 

"Mr. Kent, it's not what you think—" 

Jonathan cut Lex off by grabbing his shirt and shaking him back and forth, causing his head to bounce up and down like that of a doll. 

"You think you can just do this to us?!" 

"Stop it!" Clark tapped his palm against his father's chest, sending Jonathan to the floor. Lex collapsed into Clark's arms and Clark held him close, glaring down at Jonathan angrily, finally noticing his disheveled appearance. 

Jonathan was dressed in jeans and an unbuttoned flannel shirt, revealing an old t-shirt beneath, smeared with motor oil. His arms and face were blotched with the same black goo, and his hair was windblown and stringy with sweat. Upon seeing his bloodshot eyes and the difficulty with which he was getting to his feet, Clark realized that Jonathan was drunk. Martha finally got to Jonathan's side and attempted to help him up. 

"Honey, I think we should go," she said softly. 

"Don't 'honey' me!" Jonathan pulled out of Martha's grasp and stood up on his own. "As far as I'm concerned, you're as bad as he is!" 

"Jonathan, please." Martha was still trying to keep her voice down, but Jonathan wouldn't have it. 

"You poison everything you touch," he said, his attention back to Lex. "You turned my wife into a liar and now you're turning my son into a pervert!" Jonathan smiled cruelly as Lex appeared to sink into Clark with shame. 

"Dad, that's enough!" 

"Clark, please. I'm not angry at you, son, this isn't your fault. Lex is depraved." 

"He is not depraved!" 

"Just stay out of it, Clark! He is a sexual predator and he has to be stopped!" 

"He's not a predator, Dad, he's my boyfriend and I love him!" 

Everyone in the Talon had stopped to see what the commotion was about, and with Clark's revelation there were several loud gasps. Pete and Lana both wore expressions of pure shock, and Chloe put her hand over her mouth, crying silently. Kate stood completely still next to the punch bowl, too startled to move. 

"So," Jonathan said slowly. "He's even got you convinced, has he?" 

"Dad, please, it's not like that." 

Martha put a hand on Jonathan's back as he began to sway. "Jonathan, I really think we should take this somewhere private." 

"What's the matter, honey?" Jonathan whispered mockingly. "Afraid the whole town will find out that Lex Luthor is fucking your son?" Another ripple of gasps ran through the room, and even a few muffled giggles could be heard. 

"Don't worry," Jonathan went on. "I'm sure they've already heard about it anyway. It's always the father that's left in the dark about these things. That is until he walks in on it on his own property." 

He aimed the last part at his son and Clark's eyes immediately began to water with anger. He let go of Lex, who was standing very still, too upset to speak. Stepping in front of him, Clark shielded him from Jonathan. 

"Well, what did you want me to do, Dad, throw a coming out party? Convince Lex to get down on one knee and ask you for my hand?" 

"The truth would have been a start." 

"The truth?!" Clark yelled incredulously. "You could hardly handle the fact that Lex was my friend!" 

"We would have worked through it, Clark! We could've gotten you help!" 

"I don't need help! What I need is a father who isn't a bigot!" 

Jonathan staggered back. "Bigot?" 

"That's what I said!" Clark screamed. "You always taught me to accept people for who they are and that these little differences didn't matter. But when it's your own son, you just can't take it!" 

"Clark, the values I raised you with never included this…" 

"And somehow, you conveniently forget about those values whenever Lex's name is mentioned. I'm sick of it, Dad! You think you're so wise about the world, but you don't know anything! You've never even lived outside of this stupid little town!" 

"Clark Kent, I know more than you could possibly imagine! I spent a year in prison and I don't even want to repeat some of the things I witnessed there." 

"Well, I guess you can thank me for that too! I'm the whole reason Mom didn't get you out sooner!" 

Jonathan's breath caught in his throat and he squinted his eyes at Clark, as if that would help him understand. 

"Clark, stop this now," Martha nearly barked, then turned to Jonathan. "We're going home." 

A voice resounded behind them. "Why go now? It's just getting interesting." 

They turned to see who spoke and found Lionel Luthor standing next to one of his bodyguards, a sadistic grin lolling across his face. Upon hearing that voice, Kate finally sprang back into action, hurrying to Lex's side where she proceeded to comfort him. She was careful to keep her face hidden from Lionel behind Clark's broad back. 

"Lex, are you okay? Lex?" 

He looked into her eyes weakly, but didn't say anything as if he were in a state of shock. She pulled him into her arms and he let himself be held. 

"You stay out of this, Luthor!" Jonathan slurred. Lionel merely chucked in reply as Jonathan turned back to his wife. "Martha, what is Clark talking about?" 

"It doesn't matter, okay? Please let me take you home." 

"What's the point, Mom? Dad knows all my secrets now, why not expose some of yours?" 

"Clark, don't do this!" Martha warned, but Clark was beyond her control. 

"Did you honestly think Phelan could have come up with the perfect murder over the course of one day?" Clark seethed. "Your case could have been appealed long before it was. But Mom knew if you were free, you'd come looking for me and probably get me arrested." 

Jonathan's mouth hung open and Lionel turned his cold gaze to Martha. "So," he said with a smile in his voice. "The old girl's got some bite after all." 

"I said stay out of it!" Droplets of spit flew from Jonathan's mouth. Lionel calmly pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face, laughing. 

"You didn't tell me there was to be entertainment at this party," he said to his bodyguard, who grunted in response. 

"Jonathan…" Martha pleaded. 

"Is it true?" he asked, caught somewhere between tears and physical violence. 

"Honey, please…" 

"Answer me!" 

The room fell silent and all eyes landed on Martha. She felt as if it was the final Judgment Day and she was being held accountable for all of her sins. With a jagged intake of breath, she felt the burning of unshed tears begin to cloud her sight. 

"It's true," she whispered. 

Everyone in the room exhaled in a harmony of woeful moans. One of the chaperones shook her head sadly and fell into a chair. The two football players who had previously been laughing at the argument, now looked from Jonathan to Martha to Clark with honest compassion shining in their eyes. Dozens of students from Smallville High, from those who were close friends of Clark's to those who hardly knew him, were suddenly united by his family's pain as the shock finally wore off and the tragedy of the situation began to set in. Martha cried softly as Jonathan continued to stare at her breathlessly. 

Kate put a hand on Clark's shoulder and he turned around to see Lex, still unresponsive and trembling slightly as he stared at the floor. Clark went to Lex's side and guided him to a stool at the bar as Kate went to Jonathan and Martha. 

"I really think it's time you went home," she suggested quietly. 

Martha nodded her agreement, swallowing back more tears. "Let's go, Jonathan." 

"I'm not going anywhere with you," he said darkly. 

"I, um, I'll call a taxi," Kate said quickly, trying to avoid another scene. This seemed to satisfy Jonathan, and Kate pulled a cellular phone out of her purse and began to dial. 

Without another word, Jonathan burst into motion, pushing his way through the crowd of young spectators, and out the front doors of the Talon. Moments later they heard the motorcycle speeding away. 

Kate stopped dialing. "Will he be okay?" she asked. 

"I think so," Martha said. "He just needs to ride it off, I think." 

She didn't sound incredibly sure of this, but Kate decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She went back to Clark who had finally gotten Lex to speak. 

"He was drunk, Lex," Clark was whispering warmly. "You know none of that stuff is true." 

"Don't worry about it," Lex said hoarsely. "It's nothing I haven't heard before." 

"Lex—" 

"Clark, we need to talk." Martha had followed Kate over to the two boys and was now eying Clark with a fury that would have reduced him to tears had he not been so angry himself. 

"I don't think there's anything else to say." He held Lex closer. 

Martha opened her mouth to say more, but Lex cut her off. "Go with your mother, Clark. I'm okay." 

"Lex, I don't want to leave you alone." 

"Kate's here. You need to talk to your mom." Clark's eyes begged. "Go. I'll be fine." 

Shaking his head angrily, Clark stormed toward the back room with his mother in tow. Kate remained by Lex's side with a strong arm around his back. 

"I can't believe this is happening," he said. 

"Maybe it's better," Kate replied weakly. "The truth can be very freeing." 

Lex gave her a wry look. "Free really isn't the first word that comes to mind." 

"Sorry." 

Many of the guests had begun to file out the front door along with most of the chaperones. Out of habit, Lana went to a nearby table and started to gather up empty punch glasses and napkins, but her hands were quivering violently, preventing her from getting a strong grip on anything. Chloe came to her side. 

"Lana, stop. We can do this later." 

"No, it's okay," Lana said in a voice Chloe didn't recognize. "I have to clean up. This place is such a mess." 

She reached for the cups again, but Chloe placed a hand on her arm, stopping her. "Lana?" Chloe searched her face, concerned. After a short pause, Lana fell into Chloe's arms with a broken sob. 

"Did you know?" she asked. "About any of it?" 

Taking a breath to fight the butterflies in her stomach, Chloe nodded. "I knew about Clark and Lex." 

"Yeah, I guess you would," Lana returned, somewhat bitterly. 

"Well, it's not like Clark just blurted it out. I had to pry it out of him. I've only known for about a week." 

"And you didn't tell me? You just let me go on like an idiot, thinking Clark and I actually had a chance together?" 

"I'm sorry, but Clark made me promise I'd keep it to myself. Besides, it really wasn't my place." 

Pete wandered over to where Chloe and Lana stood, a dazed expression wrinkling his forehead. "I can't believe Mrs. Kent would do something like that," he muttered, mostly to himself. 

"Well, I can't pretend to know what was going on in her mind," Chloe said. "But I know she was just trying to take care of Clark." 

"Lying to those you claim to love can only turn out badly," Lana said, glaring at Chloe. 

"Lana, I told you Clark swore me to secrecy! And in a small town like this, I don't blame him for wanting to keep his relationship with Lex a secret." 

"You knew about that?" Pete asked, suddenly alert. "You knew Clark was a... that he was gay and you didn't tell me?" 

"Yes, I did!" said Chloe, getting angrier by the second. "I knew all about it and I kept it from both of you. And from your reactions it looks like I did the right thing! I mean honestly, could you two be any more selfish? After everything Clark has been through, all you can think about is how this affects _your_ lives!" She waited a moment for this to sink in before continuing. 

"I'm glad he has Lex," she said. "At least he has someone he can go to when the rest of his friends have turned their backs on him." 

Chloe stormed off toward a corner table, leaving Pete and Lana alone together, both slightly hunched over with exhaustion and shame. Lana slowly let herself down until she was sitting on the edge of the table, and began to cry, covering her face with her hands. Pete sat next to her and put an unsure hand on her shoulder, feeling on the verge of tears himself. 

Very nearby, Lionel had seated himself at another table with his bodyguard and was studying Lex and his companion intently from across the room. 

"That's the one he brought to the fertilizer plant?" Lionel asked, receiving an immediate nod from his goon. "I could swear I've seen her before. Of course, who could really tell under all that second rate plastic surgery?" He chuckled at his joke and dismissed Lex and the woman from his thoughts, not at all worried. If he knew who that woman was, he was confident that it would come to him eventually. 

"I had hoped to drop my news of next week's plant inspection on Lex tonight, perhaps causing him to create a scene in front of all these guests. His involvement with that boy has got his emotions out of control, and I wanted to show him the danger in that. But it looks like he's learning that lesson very well on his own, doesn't it? Poor boy. I'm afraid this will only get worse before it gets better." 

Lionel stopped a passing waitress and ordered an espresso. When she informed him that the Talon was closing, he flashed a twenty-dollar bill, and the young woman rushed to the bar with a smile on her face. 

**********

Clark leaned over the steel counter in the Talon's kitchen, staring at his own reflection as his mother yelled at his back. He finally came back to reality long enough to hear what she was saying. 

"How did you know about your father? Answer me, Clark!" 

"Lex told me," he said casually, turning around and leaning on the counter. 

"When? You didn't say a thing." 

"Before I even came back," Clark said, knowing he was relishing the moment a little more than he should have. 

"You knew…" 

"That you were lying to my face over and over? Yeah, I knew." 

"Why didn't you say something?" 

"What would have been the point, Mom? You had already built this happy little world for yourself. You didn't have time for the truth." 

"I built that world for _you_, Clark! Everything I have done, every lie I have told has been on your behalf! All I wanted was for you to be safe and free… and happy…" 

"I am happy! I'm happy when I'm with Lex!" 

"I know, honey, and I'm glad—" 

"But I am not free!" Clark cut her off. "I have never been free! If I'm not lying about what I am, I'm lying about my relationship with Lex. And when I'm not lying about that, I'm lying to Dad about what really happened. I'm so sick of it!" 

"Well, you don't have to worry about it now," Martha rebounded. "Because you just blurted out everything in front of the whole town, and you brought me down with you! So much for keeping our family together!" 

"You can't keep a family together with deceit, Mom! How many times have you told me that? What made you think that you could keep this buried forever?" 

"We've kept the secret of your abilities hidden, haven't we? The only person we've ever told is Lex, and that's only because he saw me use the meteor rock to sedate you." 

"And what a great idea that was." Clark brushed past her and to the other side of the counter where he had more space to breath. The thought of the meteor rocks brought heat to his face and made him feel claustrophobic, not to mention the added fear of his newly discovered alien side. "It's because of that stupid rock that I can hardly remember over a year of my life!" 

Martha stopped with her mouth open, clearly in the dark about the new topic. 

"Oh, that's right," Clark said. "You weren't told about that part." 

"What? What wasn't I told?" Martha asked, worried. 

"I guess you're not the only one keeping secrets, huh?" 

Martha swept around the counter and grabbed her son by the chin. "Clark, look at me. I want you to tell me what happened right now."

Clark gazed into her eyes for a solid thirty seconds before responding, the bitterness he had accumulated after months of lying building to a sour climax. 

"That little rock you used on me? It didn't leave my side until the day I came back." 

Martha's mouth was a perfect O as her eyes filled with terror and tears washed her mascara down her cheeks. "No…" 

"Yes," Clark said coldly. "Its power was diluted a little from the box it was in, but it was still enough." 

"How could Lex do that to you?" Martha muttered, turning away from Clark. 

Clark blinked. "How could Lex? How could you?! Lex had no idea how dangerous those rocks are to me, he was just acting on your suggestion! He thought it would be good to keep me calm." 

She looked into Clark's eyes briefly, then set her face into a stubborn resolve, unable to believe what she was hearing. "No, he was right. You wouldn't have been stable after what happened with Phelan. It was probably better that way." 

"Better? Mom, are you out of your mind?" 

"Honey, this is the very same reason I did what I did to your father! If you had been more aware of what was going on, you would have tried to come back and face up to the charges!" 

"I can't believe you're trying to justify this!" Clark said, feeling the blood creeping up behind his cheeks. 

"It doesn't need to be justified, Clark," Martha retorted, sounding more sure of herself by the second. "You said yourself, the rock's power was weakened. You weren't in any danger of—" 

"I almost died!!!" The volume of Clark's voice echoed off the hanging pots and pans, filling the air with a quickly fading hum. Martha's confidence dropped from her face. 

"W-what?" 

"I was stuck in that room by myself with a tape of Lex! The only person I had contact with in a year and a half was Lex's maid Kate, and half the time I didn't know who she was!" 

"Clark, no… I can't hear this…" Martha started walking to the door, waving one hand in the air as if to ward off evil spirits. 

Not missing a beat, Clark grabbed his mother's arm and jerked her back around. "Do you have any idea how bad it was?! Do you even care? Mom, in my most lucid moments, I thought Kate was you! I couldn't even remember your name!" 

"Oh, baby," Martha sobbed, reaching for Clark's face. 

"I couldn't remember anything!" Clark yelled, tears of his own nearing their fall. "I didn't even know I had parents or friends or a life outside of that bed. When Lex finally showed up, I had no idea that he hadn't been there already, that all I was seeing was a videotape of him speaking to me!" 

"The tape," Martha whispered with recognition. 

"And then when he finally came, he told me that he loved me. I was so drugged I didn't know otherwise so I told him I loved him too. Lex had completely forgotten about the meteor rock and we made love." 

"No," she said, raising her hands to her head. 

"My first time with Lex – what should have been one of the best experiences of my life – was under the influence of a meteor rock!" Martha continued shaking her head, pulling at her hair. "I hardly even knew what was happening until it was over! Then the next day, when I realized what was going on, I—" Clark's throat caught in a partly stifled sob. "I accused him of raping me." 

"Oh, Clark, you didn't!" 

"I've never seen him so hurt. I may as well have stabbed him in the heart in that moment, and it's all because of you!" 

"No!" 

"Yes! You thought you could just play around with people's lives and now it's blown up in your face!" 

"It was for you…" her voice was almost nonexistent. 

"Nothing is worth that much deceit. Not even my freedom." Clark stormed to the door of the kitchen, leading into the restaurant. 

"Where are you going?!" 

"I need some air," he said without turning around. 

"Don't walk away from me, Clark Kent!" 

But Clark kept going, slamming the swinging double doors of the kitchen open as he went. He spared only a second of surprise at how empty the Talon had become. Chloe and Lana were sitting in a corner table with their backs to him, talking heatedly and Kate was seated alone at the bar. He stopped briefly by her side.

"Have you seen Lex?" he said with a shaking voice. 

"He went to splash some cold water on his face," Kate replied, motioning to the restroom. "He's worried about you—" 

"Never mind." 

Clark turned on his heel and resumed his path to the front doors, deciding that another pair of sympathetic eyes burning into his soul was the last thing he needed, even if those eyes belonged to Lex. Once he was outside, he took a deep breath of the fresh night air and sighed, forcing his anger to subside as far as it would go. 

Inside Kate watched Clark walk away until he was out of sight, then turned to the bar where she was nursing an iced coffee Lana had prepared for her. Blessedly Lionel was nowhere to be seen. After Clark had left the room, she realized she had better take cover in the ladies' room and when she returned, the old man and his thug were gone.

But just as she was reaching for her cup, a hand clamped down over her mouth from behind and half a second later, she was being dragged from the room. She tried to scream and kick, but the hand was clamped over her nose too, and she couldn't get enough air to make a sound. The second one of her heels hit the ground, the other arm of her assailant lifted her legs completely into the air. Lana and Chloe remained at their table, oblivious to what was going on behind them. 

Soon they were out of Kate's view and she was being pulled into an area that was nearly pitch black. Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she realized she was in the Talon's old movie theater. The mercilessly strong arms that had her in a death grip suddenly jerked her around until she was facing the large movie screen. And Lionel Luthor, who was standing right in front of her. Lionel motioned to his bodyguard and the beefy hand was pulled away from her mouth, but in her sudden burst of fear, she was unable to make a sound. 

"Miriam," Lionel croaked. "We meet again. I was under the impression you had been taken care of." 

"Killed, you mean?" Kate said shakily. 

"Oh come now," Lionel laughed. "Must we use such vulgar terms? It was a necessary business move. Or it would have been, had Mateo actually carried it out. But don't you worry. He will be dealt with as well." 

"You're sick." 

His laughing only increased. "Please, Miriam, you're embarrassing yourself. We're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you and your involvement with my son. Shall I assume that you're responsible for his recent affiliation with the Kent boy?" 

"Lex is an adult. He can make his own decisions." 

"Yes, well, I'm sure I'd hear the same thing from him, but it simply isn't true. He is young and emotional and that, my dear, is a deadly combination." 

"You still haven't stopped with that "emotions are destructive" bullshit, I see," Kate quipped, regaining some of her confidence. 

Lionel smiled dangerously. "That 'bullshit', as you so charmingly put it, is what got me where I am. Do you think I could have ascended to my current status by following my heart like a hungry cur follows the smell of rotting food? Not likely. You of all people, Miriam, should remember my M.O. The eye of desperation sees—" 

"Spare me, old man. I'm not really in the mood for proverbs right now." 

Frozen in mid sentence, Lionel looked into Kate's eyes, furious at having been cut off so rudely, and somehow remaining just as polite as ever. He made eye contact with his thug. "Turn her around," he spat. 

Just as suddenly as she had been grabbed, Kate was whipped around by the bodyguard, whose face she couldn't see as her own face was buried in his wide chest. She heard Lionel step forward and begin to rub his hands down her back gently, making her want to vomit. He tugged lightly at her blouse until it was halfway up her back and she shivered as his experienced fingers traced over her scar. 

"The Eye of Exile sees the truth," he said under his breath, mesmerized by the raised pattern of pink flesh. 

When she thought she couldn't take anymore, Kate was turned around again to face Lionel. He smiled with mock sympathy at the tears that had found their way down her face. 

"I think you have more to do with Lex's current love interest than you're telling me," he said. "And even if you didn't arrange it, you're certainly encouraging it. You're just as bad as his mother." 

"Lillian was a better parent to him than you'll ever be," Kate whispered, her voice breaking. 

The cold clouds of Lionel's face parted for just an instant, showing a hint of surprise, then came back together, covering his emotions. "You know nothing of my wife." 

"I know she didn't love you," Kate went on, fuming. "I know that you wanted nothing to do with her when she was pregnant with your son. If you had your way, you would have sent her to a hospital somewhere for the entire nine months so you wouldn't have to see her on her 'ugly days.'" 

"Where did you hear that?" Lionel said, recognizing Kate's words as his own. 

"And you didn't want her to spend too much time with Lex because she was always encouraging his creativity, telling him it was okay to cry and all that nonsense." 

"Did you know my wife?" 

"And you were afraid to be by Lillian's side when she was alone on her deathbed! Her diminishing vitality was nothing but a reminder of your own weaknesses and your limited time on this planet!" 

"Who are you?!" 

"But I will tell you right now that your wife was never more beautiful than she was right before the end! Even then she was alive and full of love! And maybe it was because she knew she only had a little time left, or maybe it was because she regretted throwing her life away on a sick old man like you, but being in her presence during that time was like being near a divine entity. Love came out of her in waves and she was warm and unselfish and unflinchingly devoted to the happiness of her son after she wasn't there to guide him anymore! And that, Lionel Luthor, is a kind of love you will never experience or even understand! You can have your skyscrapers and your three-piece suits and your private jets! But Lillian was truly one of a kind, closer to perfection than most of us can even dream of becoming!"

"Kate," Lionel uttered, with a self assurance that was as frightening as it was sudden.

"What?" Kate blurted.

"You must be the infamous Kate I've read so much about." Kate wrinkled her brow, confused. "In my wife's diary, of course. Another foolish habit that, unfortunately for you, she never broke."

"You know..."

"I know everything about you, Kate. Oh, yes. I remember finding the diary after the funeral and reading about how you were always there for my wife when I wasn't, how warm and caring you were." Lionel was steadily advancing on her.

"I... I didn't..." Kate tried to back up, but the massive body behind her held its ground.

"Oh, but you did. You committed adultery with my wife. You seduced her away from her husband and her child so you could have your twisted sexual way with her. But I must say, it certainly is a shame that you could never satisfy like I could."

Kate's eyes suddenly turned cold, all fear draining from her body. "If you really read her diary," she said slowly, "then you know that simply. Isn't. True."

Fire blazed behind Lionel's eyes as his ears turned a pulsing shade of red. His lips twisted together in a grimace so tight that Kate wondered briefly if he would puncture the skin with his teeth and draw blood. She shrank unconsciously into the arms of the man behind her as the weight of Lionel's stare seemed to penetrate her skin and bring her blood to the point of boiling, and even then, she felt the satisfaction of the truth. Unable to stop herself, she let the corners of her mouth curl up in a victorious smile.

"Cat got your tongue, Luthor?"

As suddenly as his rage had arisen, it seemed to completely subside and he took a deep breath, allowing his face to return to its natural pallor. His eyes rose to those of his faithful servant.

"Take care of her," he said. 

Without another look, he was walking toward the exit next to the movie screen, which led to the alley behind the Talon. The arms that held Kate suddenly tightened to the point of severe pain and just as Kate began to scream, the meaty palm found its way back to her mouth, efficiently cutting off her oxygen once more. She kicked and struggled, but to no avail. She found herself being dragged into a dark corner of the theater and her last thought as she began to lose consciousness due to lack of air, was of Lex.

__

Keep him safe, Clark, she silently prayed. _Please keep him safe._

**********

Sitting at the bar, Lex nervously eyed Kate's cooling cup of coffee. When he returned from the restroom and she wasn't there, he assumed she had taken a turn in the ladies' room before he came out. But nearly ten minutes had passed since he had sat down at the bar, during which he had even knocked loudly on the restroom door with no answer, and he was getting worried. To top it all off, Lionel had made a surprise visit, and now he was nowhere to be found either. Lex was sure Lionel had been planning something. He rarely made unannounced visits unless he was about to drop a bombshell, though after seeing the spectacle that was already going on, he probably decided on a change of plan. 

But now Lionel was missing, Kate was missing, and Lex was becoming extremely fearful of whatever the new plan might be. If only Clark would finish talking to his mother, he could help Lex search. He would keep Lex from panicking. 

At about the moment he thought this, Martha finally emerged from the kitchen quietly, alone and obviously upset. 

"Martha," Lex said, rising to his feet. "Are you okay? Is Clark with you?" 

Lana and Chloe came over as well, concern in their eyes. Martha shook her head. 

"He needed some air," she said flatly. 

"You didn't happen to see where he went?" Lex pressed. 

"No," she whispered, shaking her head again. 

"Damn," he muttered. "I'm worried. I can't find my father or Kate, and now Clark is gone too. I hate to throw this on top of everything that has already happened, but knowing my father, he didn't come here without a reason. Clark may be in danger." 

Chloe and Martha's eyes widened in fear at the prospect of Clark being hurt, as Lana narrowed her eyes at Lex angrily, seeming to blame him. He pretended not to notice. 

"I'm going outside to look for Clark. If any of you could help me look, it would be a great help." 

"I'll look around inside," Lana said curtly. "I have a few things to say to Clark myself." 

Cringing at her icy tone, Lex headed for the front doors as Lana went into the back room to look around. 

"Lex?" Chloe called. He stopped and turned around. "I'm coming with you." 

She caught up to him in a matter of seconds, and together, they made off into the night, calling Clark's name. Soon realizing the futility of such an act, and that if Clark didn't want to be found he wouldn't be, they stopped yelling for him and contented themselves with starting a slow circle around the building. About halfway to the alley along the side of the Talon, Chloe broke the silence. 

"I'm sorry about all of this," she said timidly. 

"It's not your fault," Lex returned. 

"It's not yours either, you know." 

Lex was silent for a long time before he spoke again. 

"It's just that if I hadn't come into Clark's life, none of this would have happened." 

"And if you hadn't come into Clark's life," Chloe added, "he would be in prison right now, maybe even dead. So let's not go there, okay?" 

Shooting a sideways smile at Chloe, Lex continued his slow pace with her at his side. "You knew about us already, didn't you?" 

"Clark told me about a week ago. How did you guess?" 

"Well, although you are one of the more open-minded members of this community, I think even you would be a little more freaked than you are." 

"Freaked?!" Chloe cried, feigning offense. "I'll have you know there is nothing freaky about homosexuality! Meteor-powered bug men, shape-shifting teenage girls; now that's freaky. You and Clark are… well you're kind of cute." 

Lex made an effort to keep the color from rising to his cheeks. "Still, the age difference has got to be hard to swallow. Not to mention the fact that we're from two different worlds." He stifled a chuckle at his unintended pun, but Chloe didn't seem to notice.

"I have to admit, it made me a little nervous at first. I don't know much about you or your family except what I hear around town. And needless to say, what I hear is rarely any good." 

"So you came tonight to make sure I was on my best behavior?" 

"You caught me. I wanted to see that you're really treating Clark the way he deserves to be treated." 

"And?" 

Chloe smiled. "And you didn't disappoint me. You obviously love him very much and you have my blessing." Lex smiled. "Just as long as you know that if you even think about hurting him, I'll kick your ass all the way back to Metropolis." 

Lex laughed out loud for the first time that night, and just as they were turning the corner into the Talon's back alleyway, he stopped short. In the middle of the alley stood Clark, looking mildly disoriented. 

"Clark!" Chloe exclaimed. 

Clark didn't seem to notice them until they were right at his side, at which point the confusion immediately left his face and he grinned moderately. "Hey, guys." 

"What are you doing back here?" Lex asked. 

"I came out to get some air. I guess I just got turned around." 

Lex's eyebrows pulled together, doubtful. It wasn't like Clark to get lost, especially on familiar grounds. Maybe the events of the night had upset him and he just wasn't paying attention to where he was going. 

"Well, come on," Lex said, putting his arm around Clark's shoulders. "Let's get you back inside. Maybe you can help us find Kate." 

"Kate's missing?" Clark asked. 

Before Lex had a chance to answer, they heard a blood-curdling scream from inside the Talon, coming from the door just to their right, the exit from the movie theater. 

"Lana," Chloe said. 

Without even thinking, they all climbed up the steps, Clark taking them two at a time, and burst through the exit into the dark theater. 

Allowing his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, Lex finally recognized Lana at the top of the aisle, her eyes shining and her hand over her mouth as she focused on something high above her head. They all followed her gaze and gasped. 

Near the middle of the aisle, a rope was hooked over one of the beams that ran parallel to the ceiling. One end of the rope was tied around the armrest of a nearby seat, and at the other end, swinging gently in the air conditioning, was a lifeless form whose head hung at a frightening tilted angle, the eyes slightly bulging as the noose pulled tightly at the neck. Lex felt his stomach drop as he recognized the figure as Kate. 

"Clark," he whispered, groping for Clark's arm to keep him from falling down. Across the theater, Lana uttered the same word. 

"Clark…" The tears began to fall from her eyes, and Clark found himself faced with the choice between two people he cared about very much, both needing his comfort. 

He stood still for a long moment, looking at the two of them and then up at frightening display that had once been Kate. Then, inexplicably, Clark jogged to Lana's side, embracing her as she began to sob into his chest. Lex's heart pounded even harder and he crumbled into a sitting position on the ground, shaking his head as if he could make it all go away just by willing it. His breathing increased to the point of being out of control and he felt as though he were losing consciousness. He barely noticed as Chloe knelt down next to him, stroking his back up and down as she did her best to utter words of comfort. 

"It's okay, Lana," he heard Clark whisper as Lana's sobs increased in volume. "I'm here. It's going to be okay." 

Kate's body continued to swing gently above them, the sound of the creaking rope blending hideously with the chirping crickets outside. 

__


	14. Evidence

Title: Evidence

Series: Part 14

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Spoilers: None

Monday morning, the sun hid behind obese bluish-grey clouds for the second day in a row, taunting with the prospect of rain, but so far, not following through on the threat. Clark pulled his jacket closer around him, out of apprehension rather than lack of warmth, and continued his reluctant walk toward the Talon.

Main Street had been eerily silent since the frightening events of the previous Friday. In fact, the entire town had become more somber than Clark could ever remember it being. Children weren't allowed outside after sunset, friendly neighbors were suddenly eyeing each other suspiciously, and tensions that had already existed only increased.

Clark's own mental state wasn't entirely stable either. The day after the party, his parents had finally begun to talk and it wasn't long before they were both screaming. Clark listened through the heating vent in his room and heard the word "divorce" mentioned more than once. Thankfully, though, his parents had enough sense to know that they depended on each other financially, and that they had to think of Clark. He only hoped that underneath all that obligation, there was still some piece of the love they used to share. But currently, Jonathan was sleeping on the couch and Martha wasn't sleeping at all if the sound of her constant pacing was any indication. Clark still did his part around the farm, but he made a point of never being within speaking distance of either of his parents. He was still furious at both of them--not even the tragedy of Kate's death could change that--and neither of them were really making any effort to change his mind.

Things in town weren't much better. Neither Jonathan nor Martha had the courage to go out and make the produce deliveries after everything that had been exposed. No doubt every one of their buyers had heard by now; some had even requested they be removed from the list. So Clark made the deliveries, facing the suspicious members of his community very much against his will, and regularly felt himself burning from the inside out under all the barely-masked scrutiny.

But Clark couldn't really blame people for wanting to know what was going on. They were just concerned after all. Some of the elderly ladies on his route had even become like surrogate grandmothers to him, inviting him inside for lemonade whenever he came by and tipping him generously with each delivery. And he had to admit, it felt good to finally be able to talk about everything. One of the more daring women, a kindly if somewhat nosey white-haired widow named Phyllis Dean, asked about his relationship with Lex.

"Do you really love him?" she asked a little nervously.

Clark barely nodded, biting on his lower lip. She tried to inquire further, asking how they met, what kind of things they had in common, and:

"How does a man know when another man is . . . interested in him?"

Clark explained the last question to the best of his ability, blushing profusely as he did so, but he never answered the questions about Lex. He didn't know the answers to those questions anymore. He and Lex hadn't spoken in days, and whenever Clark showed up at the mansion or called on the phone, he was told by a servant to try again later. Normally he would just find another way, like squeezing between the bars of Lex's gate or climbing up the wall to his bedroom window, hoping to get a laugh. But he knew Lex and he knew how Lex reacted to grief. He closed off emotionally, and pressuring him to share his feelings would only push him further away.

Maybe that was why the whole town seemed so dark and quiet. Maybe it had nothing to do with what had happened, but was actually Clark pushing his depression onto everything around him. Seeing the world through mud-colored glasses. He lay awake for hours each night thinking about the production he had seen with Lex in Metropolis. He felt sure that all the strangeness in the play was caused by the approaching of the Angel, and he couldn't help but fear that everything going wrong in Smallville was the result of his own . . . _unusualness_ somehow rubbing off.

He was distracted from his thoughts as he came closer to the Talon and saw Lana sitting on the curb in front, her feet planted side by side in the gutter and her hands covering her face. Clark felt his heart break.

She looked so innocent in that moment. She looked like a little girl whose ice cream had just fallen off its cone and into the dirt. Except that Lana wasn't a little girl, and the Talon meant a lot more to her than an easily replaceable treat. It was Lana's past, present, and future all thrown together. It was her reason to get up in the morning, her only way of proving to herself that she was more than the Homecoming Queen she had been raised to be. It was her way out of the life that she so desperately didn't want to live, and now, who could say if it would ever open its doors again?

The police were still investigating Kate's death and the entire property was blocked off with yards of police tape whose brilliant yellow hue seemed blinding amidst the funereal dullness cast by the clouds. Clark hadn't realized the investigation would still be going on. He had been questioned by the police after the party just like everyone else, but he was unable to contribute much. He actually knew less than most of the party's attendees, having stormed out of the Talon in a rage before the murder even took place, a fact that would live on like a stain in his conscience for the rest of his life, knowing that if he had stuck around, Kate would probably still be alive. But just like every witness on the list (except Lex, for reasons yet unknown) Clark stated with as much conviction as he could muster that Lionel Luthor was the killer. He only prayed the old man screwed up somewhere along the way, leaving a piece of damning evidence behind.

Forcing his mind back to the present, Clark sat next to Lana and remained silent for a long time, waiting for her acknowledgment. He hadn't spoken to her since the night of the party, and he wasn't sure what kind of reception he would get from her. At last Lana lowered her hands into her lap, keeping her eyes focused at her feet.

"You know, if you stay here much longer, you're going to get gutter water all over your shoes," Clark muttered half-heartedly.

"It won't rain," Lana answered flatly.

"You sure? 'Cause it looks like--"

"The one thing this town could use is a good, cleansing rainstorm," Lana continued without emotion, "for the sky to pour down on us in buckets for three days straight and wash away all the sickness. It would be a blessing, Clark. So what on earth makes you think it will actually happen?"

Lana looked at Clark fiercely, her piercing eyes as dry as the empty gutter. The rage there startled Clark, and he had to make an effort not to look away.

"I never took you for the cynical type," he said quietly.

"Yeah, well, I'm surprised it took me this long," she snapped, turning her angry stare back to her feet. "My life has never really been shining and happy."

"True," Clark nodded. "But at least you have a strong network of people who love and support you. Your friends are always here for you, Lana."

"Friends like you, right? Gee, Clark, somehow I don't find that extremely comforting."

Lana stood abruptly and turned around to face the front doors of the Talon. She cupped her hands around her eyes and attempted to see through the translucent glass to the investigation still going on inside. Clark stood behind her.

"Lana, that's not fair. I didn't cause any of this. It's not my fault Lionel Luthor is insane."

"No, it's not," Lana replied without turning around. "And it's not my fault you're a two-faced liar, but for some reason I'm still getting punished for it."

"Lana--"

"Why couldn't you just tell me, Clark?" Lana finally turned around, struggling not to cry and so far succeeding. "Do you have any idea how foolish I felt when I realized the truth about you and Lex? Here I was at the party _we _planned together, actually thinking that I was making forward strides in our relationship, and the whole time you and Lex were laughing behind my back."

"It wasn't like that. I wanted to tell you, but--"

"But not until you'd had your fun stringing me along, right? Come on, Clark, you can't tell me you didn't know how I felt about you. I've been wearing my feelings on my sleeve. You had to realize what you were doing to me!"

"I did know what I was doing to you and it killed me!" Clark shot back. "Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted, but I was afraid to tell you the truth."

"The truth would have hurt less, Clark. Yes, it would have been hard to hear, but at least I would have known. I could have avoided looking like an idiot at my own party when my date was outted to the whole school."

Clark was shocked. "Is that all that matters to you, Lana? Your reputation?"

"What matters is that I've fallen in love with someone I can't have, and you could've stopped it! You didn't even have to mention Lex. You could have just told me you weren't interested in a relationship with me. If I had just had the chance to get over my feelings before..."

Lana turned back to the storefront, crossing her arms and holding her hand to her mouth as she lost the battle with her tears. Clark walked slowly toward her, raising his hands to squeeze her shoulders, aching to comfort her, to make things better as only he could. But knowing his touch would only intensify her pain, he pulled his hands away before they reached their destination.

"I wish I could fix this," he said finally. "I treated you unfairly, and if I could go back and change it--"

"You can't."

"No, I can't. I just want you to know I only wanted to protect you. That's all I've ever wanted. I care about you so much."

Lana smiled to herself sadly. "And you _love _Lex," she replied, her voice barely audible.

"Yeah..." Clark whispered. "You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you. To tell anybody, everybody."

"I'm guessing the other night wasn't exactly what you had in mind," Lana said, finally turning around as some of her natural softness crept back into her shaky voice.

"Not exactly, no."

Taking a deep breath, Lana tentatively stepped forward and took Clark's hand in both of her own. "I'm sorry, Clark. I'm being selfish."

"Lana, it's okay--"

"No. No, it's not. I'm going on and on about my own pain when you're clearly hurting too. Clark, I had no idea about all of the things going on with your family. That must have been awful to be keeping all those secrets for so long."

Clark nodded. "I was just trying to keep my family together."

"But it's not your responsibility, Clark. The things your parents did to protect you aren't your fault."

"Well, if I hadn't killed a man, my parents wouldn't have had to protect me, now would they?"

"Clark--"

"No, it's true. This whole thing is my fault. If I hadn't gotten myself into this mess, my father wouldn't have been in jail for so long, Lex wouldn't be stuck with the burden of constantly helping me, and Kate... Kate would still..."

Clark trailed off as the lump in his throat finally overpowered his ability to speak. He turned from Lana, stumbling into a seated position on the curb as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, refusing to let the tears out. Lana sat down to his left and said nothing for at least a full minute. Eventually Clark felt the warmth of Lana's arm wrap around his back, soon followed by the side of her face pressing against his shoulder.

"I wish I could have been there for you," she offered sadly.

Clark nodded. "You are now," he said. "It means a lot to me. Does this mean I haven't ruined our friendship?"

Lana laughed softly in spite of herself. "Of course you haven't, Clark. After everything that's happened, I guess I understand why you wouldn't tell me about you and Lex."

"So you're okay with it?"

Lana removed her arm from Clark's back and studied his face, almost as if seeing him for the first time. The beauty in his features and the kindness in his eyes were intoxicating, even addicting. She craved it endlessly and even now she felt her heart thumping madly as Clark stared quietly back at her. But was it possible she didn't really know him? Was it possible that she had fallen in love with some kind of imaginary creation that actually had nothing to do with the real Clark? She had hardly been given a chance to get to know Clark as a person and as a friend before deciding she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Maybe it was time to start exploring other avenues, find out what Clark Kent was really all about. Maybe.

"It might take me a while to digest it all," she finally said, choosing her words carefully. "But I'll get there."

"You sure?"

"You're one of my best friends, Clark. If you're happy, I'm happy."

Clark smiled and pulled Lana into his arms in a massive bear hug. Lana's heart raced and she closed her eyes as she absorbed Clark's heat into every inch of her body, letting herself savor his embrace one last time before giving him up.

__

He's happy, she thought. _How can I deny him that?_

Completely overwhelmed by the enormity of her feelings, Lana pulled away as gently as possible. She wanted to be there for Clark, but she was in desperate need of a new topic of conversation. Clark was thinking along the same lines.

"School starts in a week," he offered. "You ready?" Lana gave him a pointed look in response. "Uh, stupid question. Sorry. So have you heard anything about the investigation?"

Lana shook her head bitterly. "Nothing more than anyone else in town. I mean, you'd think they'd at least tell _me_ what's going on."

"That's horrible," Clark agreed.

"And you know what the most infuriating part is? Lionel Luthor actually came to me and told me to let him know if there's anything he can do. The man responsible for this whole mess actually has the nerve to offer his help."

Clark's stomach began to seize. "Lionel came to you?" he asked cautiously. "Why isn't he in jail?"

"Well, that's the one thing the police will tell me. They can't find a scrap of evidence against him."

"What about surveillance? I'm sure I've seen cameras in the Talon."

"That's the best part," Lana seethed. "Nell and I spent hundreds of dollars on surveillance for every inch of this place, and it was all for nothing. All the surveillance tapes from that night were stolen from the back office."

Clark stared in disbelief. "Lana, you need to be careful."

"Careful! Clark, he killed someone on my property and then he stole from me! And if the police aren't going to do anything about it--"

"Lana, don't! Don't even say that, okay?"

"Why not? Don't I deserve justice? Doesn't Kate!"

"Not at the price of your life!"

The righteous indignation dropped from Lana's features. "What are you saying, Clark? Do you think he would actually come back and..."

"No. I don't know. Lana, I'm not trying to scare you. But you have to be careful. You know first hand what Lionel is capable of, and maybe shouting threats out in the open like this isn't such a good idea."

"I'm just so angry," Lana muttered fearfully.

"I know," Clark said, grasping her shoulders gently. "But I don't need something to happen to you too, okay?"

Lana nodded, pulling her arms tightly across her chest. After a long silence, she pulled herself from Clark's grip.

"How was the funeral?" she asked softly.

"I, uh, I didn't go. Lex didn't want me there."

"I don't believe that," Lana replied, surprising even herself.

"Well, he didn't invite me. I didn't even know about it until I saw his picture in the newspaper. He was standing next to her coffin in a Metropolis cemetery holding two white roses."

"I saw the same picture. He looked lonely."

Clark nodded.

"Clark, I know it's none of my business, but you have to talk to him."

"I've tried--"

"Try harder. Neither one of you should be going through this alone."

"He doesn't want to see me."

"Yes, he does, Clark. You just have to make him realize it. You have to remind him how much he needs you. And how much you need him."

Every word from Lana's mouth was like a blade piercing her own skin. Even as she rekindled the faltering hope in Clark's worried eyes, she felt her own heart breaking. She knew she didn't have to say these things. She knew how easy it would be to use this situation to get closer to Clark and separate him from Lex forever. But she wasn't that person. Even the mere presence of such malice in her mind was frightening to her.

All she could do now was all she had ever done. Be Clark's friend.

"If I could just get through to him," Clark continued, deep in thought. "There has to be something I can say to make him listen."

Lana shook her head, unable to give any answers. Clark suddenly made eye contact.

"What?" Lana asked.

"You said Lionel stole the surveillance tapes from the night of the party."

"Yeah?"

"Everything recorded on those cameras is transmitted to Lex's security room in the mansion!"

"Are you sure?" Lana asked nervously.

"I think so. I remember him saying he likes checking in from time to time without actually coming to the Talon."

"So the evidence we need to convict Lionel could be sitting in Lex's house right now?"

"Unless Lionel already found it..."

Lana eyes widened. "Lex could be in danger!"

Clark was already poised to set out on a dead run, but he hesitated. "Are you going to be okay?

"I'm fine, Clark. Now go!"

Lana pointed in the direction of Lex's mansion insistently. Smiling in gratitude, Clark kissed her cheek with a force and brevity that left her light-headed, and he sprinted across the street out of Lana's sight.

A little out of breath herself, Lana resumed her position on the curb and looked up to the colorless sky, wishing it would just suck her up and bury her in its all-encompassing oblivion. She wiped a few strands of hair out of her face and wondered in vain why doing the right thing always had to be so hard.

For the past few days, everything had hit Lex in waves. Sleep wouldn't come when he craved it, when he felt that if he were conscious for one more second he would go completely mad. Instead, he had to wait for the tide. The waves of exhaustion would torment him, lapping cruelly at his heavy eyes, his burdened heart, until finally crashing forth in a tidal of fitful rest and half-formed nightmares. Then there was the nausea. One second he was so hungry he felt like he couldn't stop eating to save the world. The next, he was just barely making it the bathroom in time to spill it all back up, as beads of sweat ran down his forehead and fell from a central point between his eyes into the murky water below. His throat burned and he could feel his heart pounding in every inch of his skin and he felt for sure he was going to break.

Then another wave of unconsciousness--half blessing, half curse--would sweep him away.

He went on like this for three days, ignoring his phones, ignoring his business. His servant had called in to the plant, stating that Lex had pressing engagements out of town and, until further notice, would be on indefinite sabbatical.

Unfortunately for Lex, there were no pressing engagements. There was no trip out of town and there was nothing to distract him from the hell he was living. Hours of wakefulness passed him by as he sat upright in his bed, refusing all of the phone calls that came through, not even bothering to ask who they were from. Deep down he hoped that the calls were from Clark, that Clark's need for Lex was anywhere near as powerful as Lex's need for him. That way it would hurt Clark even more, knowing that Lex refused to talk to him. Maybe then Clark would understand what it meant to be deserted in his hour of most desperate need. He would know just how Lex felt in the moment that his own world came crashing down and when, in unparalleled desperation, he reached out to the one he loved most, and was turned away. The moment that Clark chose Lana.

The freshly deceased body of Lex's last real link to his mother swaying in the air above them, and Clark chose Lana.

Sickened by the stabbing rage in his heart and by the painfully vivid image sparking in his memory, Lex reached for the bottle of Jack Daniel's that seemed to have become a permanent fixture on his bedside table. Taking a long gulp, he winced at the burn of the dark liquid rampaging down his throat. He smiled bitterly at his own drunken observation made at a college party years earlier:

"Good friends aren't always true. But good whiskey _always _burns."

And just as his throat burned despite his increasing inebriation, so grew the pain of knowing that Clark had chosen to turn away from him, the pain of knowing that in the last three days, Clark had made no effort to see him or even check on him.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Lex knew that Clark had called several times every day, even arrived at the front door of the mansion a couple of times, and had been turned away. But Lex wasn't satisfied. He knew as well as he knew anything that when Clark wants to get in, Clark gets in, and so far, nothing of the sort had happened. Lex was still alone and miserable, and Clark was still somewhere else, what, happy? Relieved? Confused? Who knew anymore?

__

Correction. Who caresLex thought. _If Clark wanted to be here, he would be here. And he isn't, so he doesn't. Period._

He raised the bottle to his lips again and squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation of the coming onslaught, then opened one eye suspiciously when it didn't come.

"Fuck," he swore, realizing the bottle was empty. He opened the drawer in his bedside table, "the reserves" as Lex referred to it, and swore again when he saw that it too was empty. Clutching the useless bottle tightly against his chest, he took a deep breath, attempting to raise the energy it was going to take to get up out of bed and walk downstairs to the kitchen. Halfway through his inhalation, though, his watery brain flipped away from the task at hand as easily as one would turn a page in a book, thoughts of Kate and Clark washed back over him in a fresh, singeing wave of grief. He bowed his head, holding his breath against the lump in his throat.

It was in this state, in this array of painful images and unendingly torturous thoughts that Lionel burst through Lex's bedroom door.

"Alexander, what on God's earth do you think you're doing! Have you learned nothing over the past three years? A company needs a leader! How do you think your employees would feel about you if they knew you were in this bed, wasting away and sniveling like an imbecile?"

Lex stared straight head without flinching. If he had even heard his father's angry voice, he gave no indication of it.

"I asked you a question, Lex! Are you going to answer me or are you just going to sit there and drool into your lap?"

"Cocksucker," Lex said under his breath.

"I beg your pardon?"

Lex raised his eyes to his father's and for the first time in three days felt something other than bone-shattering heartbreak badly masked by alcoholic numbness. He felt rage. It rose up in his lungs like fire and set all of his muscles into rigid lines as his teeth clenched so tightly that they actually squeaked as they ground together.

"Cocksucker," he said again, quite loudly, his eyes never leaving his father's face.

With a chuckle that was equal parts amused and surprised, Lionel took a step back from his son.

"My, my," he clucked. "Of all the possible excuses I had imagined, that certainly wasn't one of—"

"You fucking cocksucker!" Lex screamed, jumping from the bed and spilling the sheets all over the floor in the process. "Why did you do it! She never did a fucking thing to you! Why did you have to kill her!"

Lionel calmly straightened his lapels. "Well, I'm quite sure I don't know what you're referring—"

"Don't give me that!" Lex shouted, grabbing the jacket out of his father's hands and shaking him by it. "You killed her! She was the closest thing to my mother I had left and you took her away from me!"

"Lex, stop this! Stop this now!" Lionel yelled, trying unsuccessfully to free himself from Lex's grip and the cloud of alcoholic breath shooting from his son's mouth.

"It just wasn't good enough that my mom was gone, was it? It wasn't good enough that you tried to take away everything she ever taught me! You just couldn't stop until you knew I had nothing left!"

"Son, listen to me--"

With another sudden burst of strength, Lex threw Lionel to the ground where he landed on the hardwood floor in a heap. "Don't call me that! You sick bastard, I am not your son!"

Lex delivered one bare-footed kick after another into Lionel's stomach as Lionel gasped in protest.

"Son... please..."

"Stop!" Lex screamed with another merciless kick. "I don't belong to you! You don't affect any part of my life! As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing but the pathetic bastard who came between my mother and the only person she really loved!"

Lionel suddenly caught Lex's ankle in a death grip, stopping another kick. "The same pathetic bastard," Lionel gasped, "without whom you would not exist... _Son._"

"Let go!" Lex yelled weakly, his own strength waning as Lionel's quickly returned. Lionel rose slowly to his feet as Lex began to lose his balance. His short-lived adrenaline rush was coming to a bitter end, and his drunken stupor was returning in its place. "I hate you," he whispered.

"Son..." Lionel began, moving his hands from Lex's ankle to his midsection, steadying him.

"I fucking hate you," Lex went on, feeling Lionel's grip tighten around the sides of his waist. "Don't touch me..." His eyelids started to droop and he lost his balance, teetering into Lionel's chest. "Lionel...Dad... hate you."

"I love you," Lionel replied.

"Hate you, Dad," Lex repeated, finally giving into an ocean of tears that spattered onto Lionel's silk tie.

"And I love you, son. I love you, and I will not let you do this to yourself," Lionel persisted, his own voice softening unexpectedly.

"You did this to me," Lex cried, disgusted at Lionel's sudden display of affection, even as he let it envelop him.

"Everything I do is out of my love for you," Lionel whispered against Lex's ear. "I know it sounds impossible, but it's true."

"You killed Kate out of pride," Lex spat.

"I never laid a hand on Kate, Lex. You know that."

Lex shook his head, still bent cravingly over his father's chest. "Your hands, your thug's hands. What's the difference?"

Lionel took a step back and used his right hand to raise Lex's chin. He looked into his son's bloodshot eyes. "I'm building an empire, Lex. You know this."

"Dad--" Lex tried to shake out of Lionel's embrace, but Lionel wouldn't let him go.

"And you know that every block I put in place, I will one day pass along to you."

"I don't want to hear it, Dad."

"And nobody crosses me, son, nobody," Lionel continued as if Lex hadn't even spoken. "I make sure that nobody crosses me so that one day, nobody will cross you. Not even someone like Kate."

"I loved her."

"That's exactly why she was a threat, Lex. You can never love someone who is trying to take something away from you."

"All she ever wanted to do was give to me, to make me happy."

"And in so doing, take me out of your life forever."

"Dad, it didn't have to be that way! It didn't have to be you against her."

"It would have always been that way, Lex," Lionel stated powerfully. "I did what I had to do. There was no other way to deal with the situation."

Lex snorted under his breath and finally succeeded in backing out of Lionel's arms. He stumbled backwards a few steps, slapping away Lionel's outreached hands when he finally found the support of his bed behind his legs. "You just want me to be miserable."

"I want you to be strong, Lex. And the only way you can ever realize true power is if you follow the path that has been set out for you. But like I said, anyone who gets in the way of that path..."

Lex suddenly felt a sinking in his heart, a burst of fear as if the floor had just opened up beneath him. "Get out."

"Lex, we can't just leave things unfinished like this."

"Get out now."

Lionel stormed across the bedroom toward the door, but refused to leave. "Lex, why? Why now, just when we're starting to communicate? My God, this is more progress than we've made in years. Why do you have to start shutting me out again?"

"Because you don't love me," Lex stated, his tired head swinging unsteadily above his shoulders. "And I won't let you hurt anyone I love ever again."

Lionel squinted his eyes, trying to decipher Lex's meaning. His expression quickly returned to normal when it dawned on him. "The Kent boy."

"Don't say his name," Lex whispered, the rage in his eyes regaining its cool ferocity.

"Do you think I give a damn about your personal affairs, Lex? That boy is nothing but a lapdog to you. What threat can he possibly pose to your future?" Lionel knew very well that Clark meant more to Lex than just sexual gratification, but he sincerely hoped that after the embarrassment at the party, Lex would call the relationship off. He waited patiently for Lex to respond.

Lex stopped himself from professing his love for Clark on the spot. He realized that as long as Lionel believed Clark was nothing more than a toy to Lex, that Clark was safe. Maybe his current split from Clark was actually the best thing that could have happened to them both. Now, not only was Clark safe from Lionel's insanity, but Lionel would never have any reason to investigate him, to find out just how special he really was.

"Don't tell me that underpaid farm implement actually means something to you," Lionel pressed.

Lex replied with an ambiguously cold gaze, praying Lionel would take whatever he needed from it, whatever he needed to believe that he, the senior Luthor, had the upper hand.

"Good," Lionel concluded finally much to Lex's relief. "To each his own tastes, I suppose. But I don't have to warn you of the dangers of getting emotionally attached, do I."

A statement, not a question, and Lex remained silent, perfectly aware of what was to come next. But just as Lionel took a breath to say more, no doubt about to reheat the infamous and unforgivably stale Eye of Exile speech, his cell phone called out from inside his jacket. Holding up one apologetic finger, he reached into his inner pocket and pulled out a comically small piece of plastic which he placed against his ear.

"Yes." A long pause as the expression on Lionel's face shifted from calm and detached to mildly agitated, maybe a cover for something more urgent, maybe not. Even after all these years, Lex could never really tell.

"When?" Lionel asked, his voice as steady as the ground beneath his feet. "I thought we agreed on this never happening again. No, no, give your excuses to someone who cares. I'm coming to see for myself."

With the touch of a microscopic button, Lionel dropped the phone back into his pocket and looked into Lex's eyes, as if asking to be excused.

"Go," Lex said. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's more important than me."

Taking a step closer, Lionel put his hands on Lex's shoulders. "Nothing is more important than you, Lex. And if the project on the other end of that phone call works out the way I want it to, our family's future will be brighter than you ever imagined."

"Project," Lex repeated.

"I can't say anymore right now. I'm sure you understand." Lex snorted, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "I'll be out of the country for the next week or so," Lionel went on. "Please, son. If not for me, then for your employees. Take care of yourself."

Without waiting for a response, Lionel turned on his heel and stalked out the door nearly as purposefully as he had stalked in. Just before shutting the door behind him, he turned back for one more look at Lex.

"So young," he said quietly with a hint of nostalgia in his tone.

"What?"

Lionel snapped out of his reverie. "I hope we can talk frankly again, in the future. It's been enlightening." Without another word, the bedroom door slammed shut with two generations of Luthors on either side, the elder's footsteps fading into silence.

Caught somewhere between laughter and tears, Lex began another slow trek to the bathroom as he felt a fresh wave of bile and alcohol reaching up his esophagus. He made it to the toilet just as his insides began to spill out, and all he could think was that at least Clark was safe.

__

I hate him and he betrayed me, Lex thought with another forceful heave of his stomach. _But he's safe. Clark is safe._

"Clark--" he said aloud, needing desperately to taste that name in his mouth, needing to hear it in his own voice where he knew no harm would come to it. "Clark," he whispered again. Upon attempting to say it once more, his gut let its third and most violent convulsion resound, sending him nearly into unconsciousness right there on the bathroom floor. But before he felt all awareness slip away, a strong and unbelievably warm hand rested on his back, and the loving voice he would recognize even from the other side of the world spoke to him.

"I'm here, Lex."

Lex slowly turned his head to the left and found Clark seated on the floor next to him, stroking his back up and down soothingly, and gazing into his eyes with a purity only Clark possessed.

"No..." Lex began.

"I'm right here. Please, don't ask me to leave, Lex."

As Lex was preparing to do just that, Clark reached past him to where the toilet paper hung from a gaudy silver hook on the wall and broke off two squares, rubbing them gently over the corners of Lex's mouth. In the face of such honest devotion, such perfect concern, Lex's resolve left him completely, and for the second time in an hour, he felt himself falling to pieces in another man's arms. The difference being that Clark's were the arms he had been craving all along. His tears burned his face on the way down and he felt Clark's tears burning the top of his head.

He breathed in Clark's fresh scent, the smell of farm and love, and he reached deep inside himself for the strength to make Clark go away. Clark's presence in this house, not to mention Lex's life, was becoming more and more unwise with every passing day, and even as a thousand reasons to justify that theory pounded on the inside of Lex's skull, he couldn't bring himself to say a word. Even his sorest injury, the fact that Clark had run to Lana's aid and not Lex's that night at the Talon, didn't seem reason enough to pry himself from the powerful arms that held him so warmly and so gently.

Clark Kent's mere presence was stronger than any alcoholic concoctions or illicit substances Lex could ever hope to afford, and he couldn't give up the comfort he found in his lover's arms. Not after all this time, in the midst of all this heartbreak.

"Do you think you can stand?" Clark whimpered tightly, ineffectively trying to hide his own emotion for Lex's sake.

Lex nodded, and together they slowly rose to their feet, looking into each other's eyes. Lex held Clark's face in his hands as Clark's arms wrapped firmly around Lex's waist and for several long minutes, they were content to stand there and watch each other cry quietly.

"I miss her, Clark." Clark's name broke from Lex's lips in a watery undisguised sob, and Clark pulled Lex's face to his own. "I miss her," Lex repeated.

Clark sucked what bitterness he could from the salt on Lex's lips and nodded, his own brave front falling away before he could stop it. "I know," he whispered.

"Clark..." Lex repeated shakily, and as his legs gave out beneath him, Clark picked him up immediately. Through a storm of his own tears, Clark carried Lex out of the bathroom and back to the bed where he laid him down gently, quickly lying down next to him, their bodies locking together like two pieces of a puzzle, each completely incomplete without the other. Clark pulled his legs out of the tangled creation long enough to kick his shoes onto the floor, then promptly returned.

Once the crying had calmed to a level of slightly heavy breathing, Clark stroked the alabaster skin of Lex's face resting only inches from his own on the soft burgundy pillow. "Do you need a glass of water or anything?" he asked softly.

Lex shook his head.

"What if I rub your back?" Clark persisted, trailing chaste kisses along Lex's cheek and temple. "I could run a bath."

Lex placed a hand on Clark's neck, holding him still. "Can we just . . . be?"

Without responding, Clark scrunched in closer to Lex, tightening the grip of his arms and legs around his lover's tired body, and nuzzled into Lex's neck where he started to suck gently on the tender skin there.

Lex took a deep breath and as he exhaled, he forced all conscious thought from his mind. There would come a time for talking soon enough, but right now, right in this moment, he needed the blessed stillness he only found in Clark's arms. No more thoughts of Kate and the residual hatred of all things Lionel Luthor. No more anger at Clark for making a strange decision in an even stranger situation.

"Love you," Clark said sleepily, breaking in on Lex's thoughts. The thoughts that he was determined not to be having. Thinking meant knowing, knowing meant understanding, and understanding meant misery. Lex wanted none of it. He let out another long, burdensome breath and melted first into the solidity of Clark's embrace, and then into the nothingness of his first peaceful sleep in three days.

__

Love you, too, Clark, was his last non thought before blinking out completely.

When Lex woke up, the side of his face was pressed against Clark's bare--and deliciously warm--chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around the muscled torso beneath him and took a deep breath of serenity, ignoring the insistent despair that lingered on the periphery. He was forced to take a small step back into the darkness, however, when he noticed the arrhythmic rise and fall of Clark's stomach with his breath, indicating that Clark was awake and troubled about something.

"What is it, baby?" Lex asked without moving his head. He dragged a slow hand across Clark's stomach in hopes of calming him.

"I need you to do me a favor," was Clark's reply.

"Anything," Lex whispered, planting a small kiss on Clark's shoulder.

"Go away."

At that, Lex's head lifted from its position and craned around to look Clark in the eye. Clark wasn't nearly as grave as he had been earlier, but there was no evidence of laughter in his face either. He was completely serious.

"What?" Lex asked weakly, feeling that one more rejection might shatter him forever.

"Just for a little while," Clark assured him. "There's something I need to do."

Lex let out a soft breath and let his head drop, reclaiming his human pillow. "I'm not in the mood for a surprise, Clark."

"I wish that's all it was. Lex, I need to get into your security office."

Again, Lex's head rose, and this time the rest of his upper body with it. He pushed himself into a seated position against the headboard to look at Clark. And although he didn't say so, he was more than a little pleased when Clark sat up too, immediately pulling Lex into his lap, as if not touching him for the last few days had left Clark feeling starved of intimate contact. Lex could definitely understand.

"What could you possibly have to do in my security office?" Lex asked drowsily, resting his forehead against Clark's.

His young lover took a few moments before he answered. "It has to do with Kate and . . . what happened."

Lex pulled his head back and regarded Clark quietly. "You want to see the surveillance tape," he deduced flatly.

"Lex, I have to. I--"

"No, Clark, you don't," Lex cut him off, pulling himself out of Clark's embrace and getting out of bed. "The only thing you'll see on that tape is a moment in time that never should have happened."

"Lex, you don't understand."

"In fact, I'm glad you reminded me of it." Lex's tone was surprisingly bright. "I want to destroy it before anyone gets a chance to look at it. No one should have to watch that."

"But Lex, it's evidence!"

Lex was already on his way to the bedroom door, and Clark climbed out of the bed to stop him. "Evidence of what?" Lex spouted a little more frantically than he intended. "That my father is a whack-job? I already got the memo, Clark, thanks." He reached for the doorknob and Clark grabbed his hand, holding it close to his own chest.

"Evidence that your father, or one of his men, killed Kate!" Lex's panicked face went blank for about half a second, shocked at hearing the horrifying facts spelled out so bluntly, but his mask of unfeeling calculation quickly resumed its place.

"Oh, my God, Clark, you're right. I have to get to the Talon!" Lex curtly pulled his hand out of Clark's grip and sped over to his closet door, swinging it open in search of something to wear.

"Why?" Clark asked, becoming more and more flustered himself.

"A copy of the surveillance tape will be there too," Lex replied. "I have to get rid of it before the cops find it."

Clark stood where he was with his mouth barely open in a breathy crack of disbelief. He suddenly understood why Lex was suddenly so adamant about getting rid of the tapes. Although Lex knew very well that Lionel killed Kate, he had spent so many years immersed in the idea that Luthors were above the law that he was acting out of pure instinct. How many times must Lex have had to cover up evidence for his father in the past? Clark shuddered at the thought. Again, he went to Lex's side and stilled his hands, then wrapped his arms forcefully around Lex's chest.

"Clark, stop! I have to go!"

Lex tried to wrench himself free, but Clark only held on tighter, pulling Lex away from the closet door.

"Lex, your father belongs in jail," Clark said quietly, as though introducing the idea to Lex for the first time.

"No. No, he would never forgive me! Clark, please let go!"

"He already stole the surveillance tape from the Talon," Clark blurted. "Please tell me he doesn't know about your security office."

"I don't think so, but the police could still find out. Now let go of me, so I can get rid of the tape!"

Exasperated, Clark shook Lex by the shoulders. "Lionel is a killer, Lex! Stop trying to protect him!"

Lex's struggling ceased completely, and he looked up at Clark with an expression of surprise and hurt, not unlike a child who has just been scolded. Then understanding finally dawned on him and he put his hand over his mouth.

"What am I doing?" he whispered.

"It's okay," Clark tried.

"No, it's not! Clark, what the hell is wrong with me?"

"You were just falling into old patterns. It's okay--"

"No, no, no," Lex moaned as he began once more his trek to the bedroom door. "You're right, Clark. The only thing that will make any of this okay is if my father is punished. Come on. We have to get the tape."

"Wait, Lex!" Lex stopped. "Like I said before, let me do it. I don't want you to have to watch that."

"Neither one of us will have to watch it, Clark," Lex said calmly. "All of my surveillance tapes are labeled. I'll grab the tape from August 15th and we'll give it to the police. Let them deal with it."

Clark nodded his agreement. He accompanied Lex to the security room, small but comfortable, and not nearly as intimidating as Clark had expected. There was a row of VCRs on the counter next to two wide-screen televisions. Both screens were split into six different windows, the first being live images of the outside of Lex's mansion, the second, live images of the Talon's interior and exterior. Clark took a close look at the second screen and saw that the police officers had finally let Lana come inside. They were all seated around a large table, apparently taking a break, as Lana served them coffee. She seemed pleased. Not happy exactly, but relieved that she finally had something to do, a way to be useful. Her kindness pulled at Clark's heartstrings.

"Got it," Lex said after shuffling through a tall stack of tapes in a cupboard above the counter. He held up a tape labeled "Talon Theater - 8/15/03 - 5PM-1AM."

Clark swallowed heavily. "Okay," he breathed distractedly. "Let's get down there."

Lex followed Clark's stare to the TV screen and realized what he was looking at. "She doesn't have to be there," Lex said quietly.

"You know how protective she is of the Talon," Clark said. "She just wants to make sure everything is okay."

"Newsflash, Lang. Nothing is okay." The comment slipped out before Lex could stop it, and the startled look in Clark's eyes made him regret it immediately.

"But . . . we're okay, right?" Clark ventured.

Lex seriously considered the question. "I really don't know, Clark. I mean, I thought we were. After we made up the other night, I thought nothing could ever go wrong between us again. That is until..."

"Until I went to Lana and not you."

Lex couldn't hide his surprise. Despite how in tune with each other he and Clark had become, he was still a little shocked every time Clark seemingly read his mind. "I'm sorry, Lex."

"No, whatever. You don't have to explain."

"No, I do. Lex, I wasn't thinking. I saw the bod-- uh, I saw Kate and I just lost my head for a minute. Lana was the very next thing I laid eyes on, and she honestly looked like she was about to break. I think, somewhere in the back of my mind, I justified it by telling myself how strong you are, because you _are _strong, Lex. You are the strongest person I know."

"So Lana needed you more," Lex nodded, biting his lip. "I can understand that."

"But that doesn't make up for it," Clark said sadly. "Yes, Lana was terrified. But you are the one I love, and I should have been by your side."

Lex took a sharp breath, feeling his emotions trying to take over once more. "Yes, you should have," he whispered.

Without another thought, Clark pulled Lex into a tight hug. Lex tensed up for a moment, then let himself be taken, burying his face in Clark's neck. They stood there for a long time, breathing each other in, the warm bodily contact more cathartic than words could ever be. When they finally parted, they had both attained a feeling of resolution. The moment of doubt had passed, and the memory was already fading.

"Should we take this down to the Talon?" Clark asked, gently removing the videotape from Lex's hand.

"Let's stop downstairs for some lunch first," Lex replied, as his aching stomach started to growl. "I'm feeling like I might actually be able to eat now."

Clark nodded and, hand in hand, they walked down the long flight of stairs and into the dining room. Moments later, they were sharing lunch in silence as Lex skimmed through the latest issue of the Ledger. Clark couldn't seem to take his eyes off the surveillance tape sitting between them on the table.

"Do you think it's enough?" he finally asked.

"What?"

"The tape. Do you think it's good evidence? I mean, what if it was Lionel's bodyguard who actually--"

"It _was_ his bodyguard," Lex interrupted. "But everyone at the party saw them together."

"You're right. The tape should be enough," Clark said, trying not to worry.

"Yeah," Lex added, his voice shaking with nervousness. "Enough to put my father in prison."

Lex shivered, clearly terrified of the idea. Clark scooted his chair closer and put a comforting arm around his waist. He glanced over Lex's shoulder at the newspaper as Lex turned the page, and they both gasped at what they saw.

In the center of a long article was a black and white picture of Lionel's bodyguard from the party, the very same man they had just been discussing. In large black letters, the headline read "Second Body Recovered at Talon Crime Scene."

Below the headline in slightly smaller, but no less noticeable print: "Max Heller, Bodyguard to Billionaire Lionel Luthor, Found Dead in Dumpster Outside The Talon."

Clark and Lex sat in stunned silence.

"Lionel killed him?" Clark finally whispered.

Lex shrugged his shoulders, bewildered. "The videotape may not be enough on its own," he replied, swallowing deeply as fear caused his throat to constrict. "But this... Clark, why would my father kill one of his own men?"

Clark shook his head. "He must've snapped. Seeing Kate again, finding out about you and me-- Lex, I think he's gone completely insane."

"And that means--"

"That means that nobody is safe."

"Oh, my God, Clark. Your parents!"

Nearly knocking over their chairs in the process, Lex and Clark jumped from their places at the table and ran up the stairs to Lex's bedroom to get dressed. In a matter of seconds, they were both fully clothed and running out the front door. Lex reached into his pants pocket as he ran and pulled out his key ring, hitting a button on the remote to unlock his car.

"Lex, wait!" Lex stopped what he was doing to turn to Clark. "I know a faster way."

Lex understood immediately. Not entirely without trepidation, Lex leaped into Clark's arms. He barely had a chance to lock his hands tightly around Clark's neck before they were traveling at dizzying speed to the Kent farm.

Back in the mansion, resting on the dining room table next to the day's issue of the Smallville Ledger, was the surveillance tape from the Talon. In their sudden panic, neither Clark nor Lex had remembered to put it somewhere safe before leaving, and the time would come when they would realize the severity of that mistake.

Lex did his best to hide his face from the stinging wind that seemed to be attacking him from all directions, but his nose was burning and his scalp felt like it was being torn from his skull. He had been holding his breath out of fear for the first few seconds of the ride, but when he finally tried to relax, he panicked even more, finding that the rushing air wouldn't allow him a single gasp. He pressed his mouth against the vibrant red of Clark's T-shirt, trying desperately to suck even one drop of oxygen into his throbbing lungs, but received nothing. Just when Lex felt the conscious world slipping away from him, Clark stopped. They had arrived at the farm.

As if Clark had been expecting this kind of reaction, he held Lex in his arms a few moments longer, patting his back softly as Lex caught his breath. Under any other circumstances, Lex would find the entire situation ridiculous. He didn't like to be carried in the first place, and he certainly didn't fancy being cradled like a child out in the open where anyone could see. But in his current state, all he could think of was getting a sufficient amount of oxygen to his brain. And there was really no reason to worry about anyone seeing them. It wasn't as if the whole town didn't already know that he and Clark were a couple.

Feeling his heartbeat slowing down at last, Lex nodded his head and tapped Clark on the shoulder, signaling that he was ready to stand. Clark let him down carefully, but never completely let go of him, clearly afraid that Lex would pass out at any minute. Lex nodded again.

"I'm okay."

They started a slow walk to the front door of the farmhouse until Lex put a hand on Clark's shoulder. "Maybe we should split up."

"Are you sure?" Clark's concern bled through in the tone of his voice.

"I'm fine, Clark. And the sooner we make sure your parents are okay, the better."

Clark pondered for a moment before finally agreeing. "You're right. Yell if you need me, okay?"

"Fine," Lex said, having no intentions whatsoever of yelling for anything.

"I'm serious, Lex! I went too fast for your first time. I should have been more careful."

"Clark, I feel great, okay? Now go find your dad. I'll go inside and look for your mom."

Without giving Clark another chance to argue, Lex pulled open the front door and strode into the house briskly, hoping Clark didn't notice the wobbling in his legs that he couldn't seem to get rid of. But whether Clark noticed or not, he chose to keep quiet, and seconds later, Lex heard a blast of air as Clark took off into the field to search for Jonathan. Relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with Clark's father, Lex began his own search.

"Martha?" he called out, startled by the shaking in his voice. He took a deep breath and tried again, this time sounding more like himself. "Martha, are you home?"

No response, and Lex felt his stomach beginning to sink. What if something had happened to her? What if Lionel knew how serious Lex and Clark really were and decided to come after Clark's family just to teach Lex a lesson? It wouldn't be the first time Lionel had taken drastic measures to keep Lex under his thumb.

__

Stop, Lex scolded himself. He thought of all the times Lionel had lectured him about dealing with trouble when trouble arrives, and not one second sooner.

"Worry is wasteful," he said quietly, repeating one of Lionel's old adages. "Almost as wasteful as love."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, although I can't say I'm surprised."

Lex jumped at the voice behind him and turned to find Jonathan standing in the kitchen doorway, wiping the grease off of a large wrench with a dirty rag. For a split second, Lex thought the grease was blood, and he felt his heart skip several beats in fear for his own life as he concluded that Jonathan must have gone crazy too. But his eyes quit playing their tricks soon enough, and he looked from the greasy rag to Jonathan's curious, though not quite concerned, expression.

"What the hell's the matter with you, Lex? Why are you here?"

Jonathan's voice came out softer than Lex had expected, and Lex figured the fear on his own face had Jonathan feeling uneasy. Lex opened his mouth to speak and Jonathan cut him off, already jumping to his own conclusions.

"Where's Clark! What happened, Lex?"

"Clark is fine!" Lex finally managed. "Don't worry, Clark is fine. He's actually around here somewhere looking for you and his mother."

"Then what is going on?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Martha said a little breathlessly from the front door as she climbed down from Clark's arms and entered the house. "One second I'm working in the garden, and the next I'm being thrown toward the house at light speed!"

"I didn't throw you, Mom, I had a good grip the whole time," Clark corrected defensively.

"Well, a little warning would have been nice," Martha retorted.

"I'm sorry. I guess I was panicked."

"Clark, what is this about?" Jonathan asked.

"Dad, you and Mom could be in danger."

"Danger?" Martha said. "Danger from what?"

"Not from what," Lex interjected. "From whom. My father has completely lost it."

"Tell us something we don't know," Jonathan growled.

"Jonathan--" Martha started, but Jonathan kept going.

"I will not keep quiet, Martha. Lionel hanged that poor woman in the middle of a public restaurant for God's sake! He's sick and demented and he ought to be locked up!"

"I agree with you implicitly, Mr. Kent, and not just because of what happened to Kate."

"Lex, what are you talking about?" Martha asked nervously.

"Lionel's bodyguard was found in a dumpster outside the Talon a couple nights ago," Clark said. "He died of a sharp blow to the head."

"Hold on," Jonathan raised his wrench into the air in confusion. "The same guy Lionel showed up with that night?" Lex nodded. "So you think Lionel killed him?"

"Who else could it have been?" Lex replied.

Martha shook her head. "But that doesn't make any sense. Why would he do that?"

"Simple," Jonathan reasoned. "To cover up his involvement in Kate's death. He let his goon get rid of Kate, and then he had to get rid of his goon."

"I don't think so," Lex said. "Max has been around for years, he would never betray my father. Besides, even if he did, why would my father be stupid enough to kill him and dump his body right outside the Talon where he knew the police could find it?"

Jonathan puzzled for a few seconds but couldn't come up with an answer. "Good point," he said. "So what are you suggesting?"

"Like I said before," Lex answered. "I think my father has gone crazy."

"Lex, are you sure?" Martha asked. "Your father may be a lot of things, but he never struck me as mentally unstable."

"Me neither, but what else could have driven him to this?" Lex put his hands on his hips and closed his eyes, wading through the facts for the millionth time. "It's the only thing that makes sense," he finally said. "Kate was a very dark chapter in my father's past, and seeing her after all this time must have been too much for him."

"Well, that and finding out about you and my son," Jonathan murmured under his breath. "I know I was down for the count after--"

"Knock it off, Dad," Clark warned, shocking Jonathan into silence with his sternness. "We don't have time for this." Jonathan looked away from Clark, stung. Martha was the next to speak.

"So you think Lionel might come after us? Why?"

"I wouldn't presume to know what he's thinking at this point," Lex replied. "But I know that he doesn't approve of my involvement with Clark, and it wouldn't be at all beneath him to come after Clark's family to just to show me he's in control."

"Assuming he's rational enough to think that far ahead," Martha added.

"Right," Lex nodded. "But judging from what's already happened, I think he's a walking time bomb. Who knows when he'll explode again and who will be unlucky enough to be nearby when it happens?"

Martha shivered at the thought. "What should we do?"

Lex looked from Jonathan to Martha hesitantly before answering. He closed his eyes momentarily, as if unable to believe what was about to come out of his mouth. "We need to get you two somewhere safe." He paused and everyone waited for him to continue. "The mansion."

Jonathan immediately began to shake his head. "No. No, no, no, no, no. I refuse."

"Jonathan," Martha pleaded.

"No! If I'm going to die, I'm going to do it right here in my own home."

"Dad, you're not going to die!" Clark shouted.

"Jonathan, please!" Martha put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "Listen to Lex. If Lionel is crazy, who knows that he might do?"

"And why on earth should we listen to Lex?" Jonathan spouted, pulling his arm away from Martha's grip. "How do we know he's not in on the whole thing? He's probably just as crazy as his father!"

"Dad!"

"No, Clark, it's okay," Lex said calmly. "Your father's right. Mr. Kent, I've given you absolutely no reason to trust me. I have never once tried to reach out and form any kind of friendship with you, and I have been having a relationship with your son behind your back. You deserve more respect than that, and you have every right to be angry with me."

Jonathan attempted to rebound, but all that came out was a short exhalation. The shock of Lex's speech left Jonathan silently opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish, and Lex took the opportunity to keep going.

"The truth is that I love Clark, and I will do anything to keep him safe and happy. And that includes taking care of you and Martha."

A few seconds passed as Jonathan weighed his own pride and anger against the sincerity of Lex's words and the danger of the situation. He seemed on the cusp of an affirmative answer, just waiting for a final push to help him over the ridge.

Martha tugged at his sleeve, and Lex respectfully turned away to allow Clark's parents a private word together. Martha led Jonathan into the kitchen, leaving Lex and Clark in the living room. "We can trust him, Jonathan," she urged softly. "Please. Let him help us."

"How can he possibly help us after all he's put this family through?" Jonathan whispered heatedly.

"None of our troubles are Lex's fault! When are you going to see that? And don't even bother to blame him for this latest development, because Lionel would be crazy with or without Lex and Clark's relationship, and you know it. At least with Lex around, we have a way to be safe."

Jonathan paused to think, wiping a greasy hand over the scruff on his cheeks. "What about the farm?"

"Well," Martha said slowly, "Lex has helped us out with the farm before. Maybe he could send his workers again and--"

"No. That is completely unacceptable."

"We may not have a choice, Jonathan."

"There is always a choice, my dear," Jonathan said sourly. "I've told Lex, and now I'm telling you: I will not let that old bastard scare me off of my own land."

"But if you would just think about it--"

"Martha, I said no! This farm is my home, my livelihood! You know I can't handle the thought of a bunch of LuthorCorp yuppies digging around in _my _soil."

"Well, maybe I can't handle the thought of being alone!" Martha burst in a shouted whisper.

Jonathan felt the ice around his heart beginning to crack when he saw the panic in his wife's eyes. "Honey--" He reached for her shoulders, and she batted his hands away.

"No, Jonathan, I mean it!" She continued to whisper, trying not to startle the boys in the living room, but her conviction was no less persuasive. "I lost the two most important people in my life once, and I refuse to let that happen again. Do you have any idea what I went through without you and Clark?"

"Yes, actually, I do."

"Then you know," Martha said, furiously wiping a stray hair away from her mouth. "You know why I did everything that I did. You know why I lied to you and to Clark and even to myself. Because the day that Sam Phelan ripped my family away from me, he may as well have ripped my heart out of my chest. But it blew up in my face, didn't it? In the end, I guess it was all for nothing, because you and Clark are suddenly bitter enemies, and you hate me so much you can't even look at me--"

"Martha..."

"And when I think of what Lionel did to that kind, innocent woman . . . I can't go through that again, Jonathan, I just can't lose you! I--I don't think I'd survive."

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Jonathan pulled Martha into his arms, holding her tightly, making a conscious effort to pour every ounce of love he had into her as she breathed heavily against his shoulder.

"Stop now," he whispered at her ear. "Don't you ever think that I hate you. Ever. I love you so much I don't know what to do, and that's why this is all so hard for me."

Martha pulled her face away from Jonathan's chest to look into his eyes. "Jonathan, I'm so sorry."

"Sshh, I know." He pulled her body close to his again, starting to wonder which one of them needed comfort more. "I'm sorry, too."

Eventually, they both noticed the lengthening silence in the living room and decided to put their apologies on hold and return to the matter at hand. "So?" Martha nudged.

Jonathan felt his own stubbornness slowly melting away with every moment, but the reservations were still there. He peeked through the kitchen door just in time to see an innocent, though still passionate, embrace between his son and Lex. Lex closed his eyes tightly, clearly savoring the closeness, and Clark kissed him almost sensuously on the cheek. Jonathan shook his head as his heart started to pound, and he gently removed Martha's arms from around his neck.

"Sweetheart, I can't. I just can't."

"But what if Lionel comes after us?"

"There has to be another way!" he whispered emphatically, gesturing toward the kitchen door.

Martha looked out the door and realized why Jonathan was still so reluctant. "Lex is a part of our lives now, Jonathan. You have to accept that." She took another look at Clark and Lex who were still hugging, and now seemed to be swaying gently, so gently in fact she wasn't sure she really saw it. Her heart filled with love and she returned her attention to her husband with warmth in her eyes. "You have to accept _them._"

Instead of the bitterness and disgust she had become so accustomed to greeting in Jonathan's face recently, there was an aura of crumbling. At long last Martha found the smallest hint of Jonathan's obduracy falling away.

"I know," he finally whispered, taking another look at his son. His son, who in that single, quiet moment, despite all the madness and despair surrounding him, looked more peaceful and secure and, for lack of a better term, happy than he had in months. Years. Ever, maybe? "I know I do," Jonathan repeated. "But I can't live in the mansion. Please understand. I just can't."

"Jonathan--"

"Martha, it's okay," Lex interrupted, entering the kitchen. Clark followed closely at his heels, bravely grabbing his hand when they came to a stop. If Jonathan noticed, he didn't say anything. Lex looked at Clark warmly, then turned back to Jonathan. "But let me send some men to secure the premise. I promise they'll be discreet. You won't even know they're here."

Martha looked at Jonathan pleadingly, and he finally nodded his consent. Martha released a sigh and kissed Jonathan on the cheek, succeeding in putting a cautiously hopeful smile on Clark's face.

"But," Lex went on, swallowing loudly as his pulse began to race.

"But?" Jonathan prodded.

"Lex, what is it?" Clark asked, squeezing his lover's hand softly.

"I want Clark to live with me."

Clark's felt his chest fill to the point of constriction with a warmth so powerful he thought he would burst. But the feeling was almost immediately replaced with a fearful swarm of butterflies when he received a mental image of Jonathan literally pounding Lex into the ground. Jonathan, however, remained quite still, waiting for Lex to explain.

"My father is unbalanced," Lex said, somehow maintaining his composure through what was easily one of the most difficult moments of his life. "But he's still intelligent. If he, God forbid, were to somehow find out about Clark's secret--"

Jonathan held up a hand to stop Lex from going on as he squeezed his eyes shut in a painful expression of dread. When he opened his eyes, he focused them first on Lex and Clark's connected hands. He then moved his stare to Lex's face. "Can you swear to me that your mansion is safe?" he asked slowly, enunciating each word with agonizing precision.

Lex inhaled quietly, afraid to smile, but feeling the smile forming on his lips anyway. "Yes, sir."

Arms lagging at his sides, shoulders slumped, Jonathan nodded his consent.

"Dad..." Clark began, but no words were sufficient. He came forward slowly and hugged his father. He waited for a moment, frightened when he didn't feel Jonathan returning the affection. But he was relieved when he finally felt Jonathan's arms wrapping around him, reluctantly at first, then gripping powerfully as the remainder of their bitterness toward each other fell away.

"I love you, son," Jonathan said into Clark's shoulder, a rather startling parallel to the exchange between Lex and his own father earlier the same day. Only this time, the moment was pure, the love real, and Lex tried to keep the heartbroken jealousy from coalescing in his stomach.

__

I don't need Lionel's love, he reminded himself. _Clark is my family now._

Clark was his family. And with any luck, now Martha and Jonathan would be too. It still hurt to think of his father, to think that he had been deprived of a real family his whole life, a good and honest family like the Kents. But he managed to push the pain away one more time as he focused on the embrace between Clark and Jonathan, living vicariously just a for a moment, through Clark's happiness.

At last, the Kent men separated from each other. Martha spoke in a voice of quiet happiness, her fear of Lionel temporarily forgotten.

"You should start packing, Clark. I'll go find a bag."

"I'll help," Clark said, and they both went up the stairs.

Jonathan turned to Lex. "Do you have any way of knowing where your father is right now?"

"I spoke to him earlier today," Lex replied. "He said something about leaving the country."

"That figures. Where was he going?"

"I don't know. I can call the airport to see if he's gone yet, but they are under strict orders not to tell me his destination." Jonathan shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "I'll make a few calls and see what I can find out."

While Lex was on the phone, Jonathan went upstairs to see if he could help with anything. Martha and Clark were both in Clark's room hurriedly folding his clothes to put in the suitcase when they heard Lex shout from downstairs.

"No!"

They all ran down to see what had happened. Lex was pacing the floor as he hung up his cell phone and stuck it in his pocket shakily. Clark ran to his side.

"Lex, what is it?"

"Lionel's gone. He just left in his private jet."

"Well, that's good news right?" Clark said. "That means we're safe for now."

"He got the tape." Lex stated.

Clark's face fell. "He..."

"...got the tape," Lex finished. "We left it on the table, Clark. I called Jacob at the mansion, and he told me that Lionel came back. I told Jacob where we left the tape, and he said it wasn't there."

"What tape, Clark? What's going on?" Jonathan asked with an edge in his voice.

"Why didn't Jacob stop him?" Clark asked Lex, ignoring his father as the tone of his own voice grew sharp.

"He was across the garden in his quarters. He didn't know anything was wrong until he saw Lionel's car speeding away.

"Goddamn it," Clark breathed.

"Clark!" Martha said, startled. "Boys, what has happened?"

"Lex, without that tape, we might never be rid of him." Clark's throat constricted bringing his words to just above a whisper.

But Lex didn't respond. His eyes were darting from side to side with panicked indecision. It was almost as if he were reading from an invisible page in front of him, and from the look on his face, the story was taking a turn for the worse. His forehead creased in deep concentration, and he almost seemed to be fighting against himself, warring between the whispering of his conscience and the screaming of his heart. His love. Lex's head shook and the sound of his breathing filled the room as again he began to pace back and forth.

Finally, the war ended. Lex came to a dead stop with his back to Clark, and his arms fell limply to his sides. When Clark turned him around, a frightening resolve had begun to form on his pale face. A dangerous wrath Lex had only shown hints of possessing in the past now began to push his features into a stare so cold that Clark almost didn't recognize him.

"Are you listening?" Clark insisted. "That tape is the only way for us to be safe! We need it to put Lionel away!"

Lex raised his eyes slowly to Clark's, a perfect and deadly calm shining in his bloodshot eyes.

"Maybe not," he said coldly.

Jonathan stepped forward, though not without trepidation. "Lex, I don't like the sound of this. Whatever this tape is, there has to be a way to get it back. Let's not do anything stupid, okay?"

Lex shifted his eyes to Jonathan. "Okay," Lex said with absolutely no feeling whatsoever. Then he turned on his heel and walked toward the door. "Call me when you're packed, Clark. I'll send a car."

With that, Lex was gone. The three Kents stood silently in the living room, unsure of exactly what had just taken place, only knowing that things were about to get worse.


End file.
